Loud parenting and grandparenting that goes on and on...

[FiveLoadsFourLiftsThreeMeals]

Am I unreasonable to be irritated by the unnecessarily loud, fake/ over enthusiastic "cheerleading" style of child-accompanying that seems to happen when multiple family members accompany or look after one or two small children?

Longer background for the few who can be bothered to read below no need to read it obviously:

I'm very tolerant of child noise (as in noise made by the actual children) but my neighbours have had their little granddaughter all summer, while I was off work and at weekends and oh my goodness the grandparents are so loud! At first I told myself it's nice they're so enthusiastic, but they're in the garden basically cheerleading in kind of loud baby voices for hours every day, and when the parents collect the little girl (coincidentally just after I get in from work on week days) they settle in for an hour before taking her home and join in and there are four of them at it!

I've been noticing similar out and about (two parents with one toddler at the pool were trying to work their child up to whoop and scream by doing so themselves going down the (toddler size) slides and then splashing him and each other directly on the pool steps even though the child himself was playing contentedly and fairly quietly, scooping and pouring water from his little bucket just making the odd comments and smiles to his parents until they got him riled up).

Just now I was out for a walk and an extended family coming up behind me were the same - five adults on foot being loud kind of at two relatively quiet small children on little bikes, with lots of shouted baby talk and cheerleading. They were the only other people around and were maintaining a distance about 30 meters behind me and completely ruined the otherwise potentially very peaceful walk.

YANBU to find the adults annoying or

YABU and a grumpy old woman?

Does it have to be so LOUD though?

Performance parenting can be a bit cringey, but each to their own. 🙂

Decided not to have lunch in a cafe where a child was loudly barking like a dog to the delight of the parents. Not one bark, but barking throughout to make the parents laugh (and maybe clap although I may have imagined the clapping such was the jollity).
Not a toddler either, she might have been six or seven.
Not a coffee shop next to a playground but a busy casual restaurant.
I'm in the US at the moment and it was an American family but I see this in the UK too.
Lovely that they were so happy, I don't want to be a sour battleaxe, but that level of noise was unnecessary, the child was old enough to be reminded to keep it down. Parents dngaf, clearly enchanted.

I live on a road with a daycare nursery at the end and have to endure this type of loud, performance parenting every time I cross the pavement to my house. Gahhhhh. I passively aggressively ignore... and don't meet the eyes of the parents who are seeking my admiration - both for their special little darlings and their own incredible and insightful parenting. FUCK OFF.

We always say "look, it's the person to ever have a baby" 😂

I'm on the fence with this tbh. Obviously they shouldn't be literally screaming or anything but there are so many places where kids have to be quiet and calm, and so few opportunities to let loose, that I actually think encouraging the kids to get active in those appropriate places can be beneficial.

I think you're definitely allowed to be "riled up" at a swimming pool with slides, for instance! Parents probably wanted to tire the kid out, and that's not going to happen if he's just playing quietly with the water 😂 water confidence is also key to learning to swim, so sometimes you do have to chuck them down a slide or challenge them to a race to get them interested in going swimming!

I don't really know what the baby talk thing means (I didn't really understand the photocopier example but maybe because the prior comment was deleted 😅). I don't like baby talk in general, but some kids do benefit from the Ms Rachel style of speaking in order to learn diction so... again, on the fence.

Live and let live I reckon 😊

I think YABU. A lot of people ignore their kids while they stare at screens. They're engaging with them and good for them, no matter whether they are louder than the average or not.

Performance Grandparenting.

Btw baby talk has been repeatedly demonstrated to be beneficial to language development across many decades of studies.

Yes I have noticed this, I think a lot of it is "Look at me I'm such a great gran/dad/mum/whatever."
It's annoying!

We've got a school parent on drop off and pick up similar to this. However her voice goes higher by several notes. It makes my hearing aids buzz so much. She is however a lovely lady so I just let it slide. She's just excited to see her kids but I wouldn't want to live next to her.

My in laws were like this with my children when they were little. We were on holiday and my daughter was dancing when her nappy got full. My MIL was laughing so loudly and making comments so loudly that I saw another family ask "what is so funny about that?!". I couldn't have agreed more - I was so embarrassed by their over exuberance|!

That's really interesting to me, because I talk to my cat like that (he's still little) and I've never had a cat that I understand what it's mewing like this. Like he's very vocal and expressionate

We were at a park recently and 2 parents with their one year old were both using loud, high pitched baby voices with over the top encouragement. Both parents shrieked with delight and praised the toddler for simply walking through a tunnel.

It was actually quite sweet but really annoying to listen to.

Definitely a me problem and probably because DD2 (6) doesn't respond at all, she ignores anyone who talks to her like this.

This comment wins.

I wouldn’t call it performance grandparents when they are doing it in their own back garden. To be honest it’s better than many GP you see referenced on here who can’t be bothered or on phones instead of interacting. But yes I can imagine as a neighbour it’s pretty annoying

My mother does this with my children and it annoys me. She wasn't like it as a parent, she had a normal level of interaction then. But now she just cannot leave them to quietly play and do their thing, she absolutely must be involved. Constant questions, talking 'what colour is that? Can you find the blue car? Where's the blue car? I wonder if you know which one is the yellow car? Gosh you got the yellow car! What a clever boy! The yellow car!' etc etc and it's exhausting to listen to. My son is used to some interaction from me but I was under the impression that it's good to let children develop their own play and not constantly interfere.

@mycatsbestfriend DP and I talk to our cats in baby talk and they’re adult cats, not kittens. We know full well that they’ll ignore us no matter what we say or what voice we say it in. However, I’m now worried that the neighbours can hear us!

100% agree with you on this, OP.

Performative parenting is a scourge of the modern world.

And it's not parents chatting to their kids or having fun with them which is of course delightful, it's over the top talking, laughing, whooping loudly designed to get everyone around to stop & look.

Ime the same parents shove others out of the way with pushchairs and never stop their kids from running amok in cafes & restaurants.

My one year old is not walking yet so I would definitely shriek with delight if he walked through a tunnel!

Well if it makes you a grumpy old woman I'll join you in grumpy old womanhood. All the over the top hooting and hollering that seems to come with parenting at the moment drives me batty.