To tell Children's Services it is a malicious referal from school

[UndertheCedartree]

So DD's school have today told me they are referring us to Children's Services. Ever since I made a complaint they have been trying to off roll her. They are not putting in proper support for DD leaving her struggling and then not wanting to go in the next day. Apparently this is all my fault. I feel this is just another tactic for me to be so fed up with the school I pull her out.

I believe you too! For context I have an SEN daughter and also teach in a mainstream secondary.

The school are trying to get her in to get her attendance mark. I would bet my house on it being the driving factor for this plan. I absolutely agree that they are attempting to put in a plan so ludicrous that you deregister your child. This happens every single day in schools, I promise you. They tried to do it to my daughter when she was in reception because she has epilepsy.

Have you applied for an EHCP yourself?

You sound very angry and understandably so but please stop fighting the school and work together for the sake our your poor child.

My Y8 child has ASD and I would be staying in that reception everyday just to give it a try if thats what they recommend. if that didn’t work we would try every other local school and if that doesn’t work homeschooling. There is no way I would keep sending my child somewhere they aren’t going to be happy when there are other options.

We have to remember schools are there to teach and provide education to hundreds of children, they are so underfunded and have been honest to say that isn’t the right place for your child.. they are not the enemies so listen to their suggestions and advice.

Ultimately It is your responsibility to get this right as it’s your child, you and her are the only one who really care about the consequences as it’s your life. For other professionals they care absolutely but they have lots of other people to help and at the end of the day it’s just a job.

Good luck, I know it’s hard and feels like the fighting never stops but be positive around daughter and try their suggestions just see what happens.

My Y8 child has ASD and I would be staying in that reception everyday just to give it a try if thats what they recommend

it's a ridiculous recommendation and you know it. Besides, children with Sen need to be housed, fed etc too how do you propose a parent is earning any money if they sit in school reception all day???

No - people aren't less likely to do awful things because they work in a school or for police or social services or hospitals unfortunately. It is very believable.

Why would it be malicious OP? If your child is crying, shaking, nosebleeds at school very frequently, and so on, perhaps they realise they can't meet her needs and need specialist help, hence Child Services? Teachers aren't experts in autism and perhaps they realise they are out of their depth and perhaps you need a lot more help too.

I'm no expert it just seems that might be the most likely case rather than anyone wanting to be malicious? When was her autism diagnosed?

Seems crazy they won’t support an EHCP when this could he the solution. A 1-2-1 and a place to go to calm down before being reintroduced to classes. Why don’t they want to agree to this? Clearly teachers don’t have the resources to cope but that’s why they support EHCP’s. Do hope you can get this sorted OP. Their plan sounds bonkers and I’m sure no professional will agree it’s reasonable for you to sit in reception all day

I’m sorry but I disagree it’s a suggestion and I would give anything a try to help my child settle! Why would I not!
I could take holiday from work. Go food shopping after school, all solutions would be found as my kids wellbeing comes first it’s really very simple
I’ve always followed advice and only pushed back when really needed. The schools are trying but it needs to work both ways to get results and ultimately it’s me that lives with the consequences not them

Children’s services aren’t experts in autism either, in fact in my experience they probably know less than the average teacher

Ridiculous!
How long holidays do you have?
And what then?

This school isn't "trying", it's copping out.

Good luck with years of holiday. you clearly don't have a child with SEN. With the amount of holiday many would need, you would have s bloody job anymore. so easy to talk about things which aren't part of your every day life! suppose ignorance is indeed bliss. bless you.

Amazing what some people come up with, isn't it?

Autism= unmarried parent

WTF

This is beyond unreasonable. The school
doesn’t sound like it is acting in her best interests. What does her EHCP say? (Presumably not this!)

School won’t have a leg to stand on with Social Care.

Edit: Sorry, I’ve just seen she doesn’t have an EHCP. Apply for one. Now. The referral may actually work in your favour as evidence.

That's immediately what I thought-I'll read on 🤨

I wouldn’t imagine the school wants me parked up in reception for the next 4 years haha. It will be a trial and then discussion over a short period of time so holiday would cover it plus shows willing to the school and my child.

The child was thriving before and can again but not in the current environment. So change must happen.

I have a friend who was a Teacher but left the job she loved due to behaviour in classrooms and parents lack of accountability for their children behaviour thinking it’s the schools responsibility. It made me aware what teachers are putting up with when they are there to teach our children and equip them with life skills they are not there to be abused, attacked, deal with disruptive behaviour when they have 30 plus children to look after.

Sorry to have no advice to offer. I can believe that the school is wishing to off-roll her.

They won't just take.what you say at face value, they will investigate and reach their own conclusions.

I was wondering what your daughter’s wishes and feelings are in all this? Also, as she is in year 8, are the meltdowns increasing? What do her meltdowns look like? (Trash the class? Hit people?) Does she have friends at school? Has the school analysed the patterns of meltdown and noticed that, for example, they’re more likely to occur during maths lessons?

I’m also interested to know what you’d really like to happen. I get that you want the school to put in more support, but what does this look like in practice?

Another person who hasn’t had the misfortune to have to deal with how the Sen system works so has no clue about how schools can be

Ok, I'm back now I've read more.. question: when was your daughter diagnosed with ASD? How did you obtain the diagnosis, who was involved?

I speak from experience as I have jumped through many hoops with my own two children both diagnosed before starting school.

Very wrong @Morph22010 I've spent fucking years dealing with the Sen system never judge!!!

Can speak from experience as have an awesome ASD son, nephews nieces, friends kids etc, neurodivergent myself and work with many people who are neurodivergent. loads of lived and worked experience.

You are incorrect that the referral won't be disclosed. It isn't disclosed when they believe the child would be put at further risk. Usually parents are informed when a referral is made.

It’s not up to the op to say what support just be, she’s not an expert. Thst is the whole idea of an ehcp needs assessment, to see what needs are and what support should be in place. The school should be applying for one if they can’t manage op’s child without op having to sit in reception all day

I think you may be panicking prematurely. It is quite common for families with children that are struggling to be referred as families in need. It doesn’t mean there is an issue with her care as such. It is about them putting support in place. If a school isn’t supporting her etc has she got a ehcp can you apply for alternative provision? I did this for my child.

But your suggestion about taking holiday from work is unworkable, I have a child with asd, they can’t access any holiday clubs that nt children can access as they can’t manage them. We both work and also have some support from my mum to cover some of the hols, but it’s really difficult to cover the actual holidays, I’m not sure what we’d do if we also had to take weeks on end off to sit in my child’s school just in case there was an issue, I’d have to give up work, thst is probably why lots of parents with Sen children do end up giving up work and then they get a bashing for that too.