To tell Children's Services it is a malicious referal from school

[UndertheCedartree]

So DD's school have today told me they are referring us to Children's Services. Ever since I made a complaint they have been trying to off roll her. They are not putting in proper support for DD leaving her struggling and then not wanting to go in the next day. Apparently this is all my fault. I feel this is just another tactic for me to be so fed up with the school I pull her out.

Crossed post.
Okay look it from a different perspective, school are clearly concerned, and it sounds as if your dd is struggling. Having more agencies involved can be helpful in getting signposted and more support for your dd.
It might seem awful, but at the end of the day is finding a way which will help your dd reach her full potential.
Does your dd actually have a formal diagnosis or is it a diagnosis you have given her (I don't mean that disparagingly, I just mean without a formal diagnosis no one will take you seriously no matter how well you know your daughter and how blindingly obvious it is to you). If she doesn't have a formal diagnosis then hopefully with more agency involvement the quicker you'll get through the gruelling process.
Deep breath OP. I think if you don't have a ND child it's very hard to for others to understand how incredibly exhausting, stressful, exasperating and frustrating it can be trying to get the help you know your child needs.

No it isn't.

Off rolling is an absolute last resort. Schools have a ridiculous amount of red tape to wide through to exclude or off role a child.

And as you font state your dd has an EHCP yet there is no funding for her. Without funding the support available is minimal and around d reasonable adjustments.

Don’t pull her out or tell SS they’re acting maliciously.

The school is just following protocol and SS will either see that no help is needed or try and get your DD more support.

SS aren’t always a bad thing, they are there to help.

Your DD is struggling and this may be the best thing for her.

The more you are open to them, the better.

Y8

I want her to provide her with the support the ED Psych says she needs.

It isn't provided as the Senco hasn't made a proper plan and also hasn't supported me in getting DD an EHCP.

This happened to us as well. School made up a load of horrific lies - unfortunately for them we had the most amazing social worker allocated to us. She went right back to the beginning with everything, spoke to everyone and then spoke to the consultants that dc saw. She saw us multiple times at home and spoke to dc alone. She then wrote her report which found no concerns with us but serious concerns with the school. We ended up with her assistance moving the dc to a different school ! Parent blame is sadly a very real thing. I hope you get a good social worker like we did - work with them they are actually really helpful

This is what I was thinking too. The school don't just refer for safeguarding but for additional support.

They might need to evidence that her anxiety is surrounding school by proving that there's no specific cause of anxiety at home too.

It sounds like they are supporting you but you are intent on seeing the worst.

I am not meaning to sound condescending but do you understand the process schools are required to follow to obtain an EHCP?

Sadly I agree. Many a time I've seen cases where SS should have stepped in sooner. I think it's to your daughter's advantage to meet with them. They very well may help you get the services she needs.

So the referal is that I am preventing my DD from accessing her education. This is apparently because I have said I don't agree with the school's plan for me to have to wait in reception after I have brought DD in for 15 minutes and if they can't cope they will bring her back to me but I can't take her home. Essentially I will be looking after DD all day in reception. It's not a reasonable plan in the slightest.

Of course it's not malicious.

She / you obviously need help and school making a referral is a good thing.

I think a referral to social services will be beneficial. They may be better equipped at getting the ball rolling on the support the school is unable to provide.

If her needs are this severe, how has she got all the way to year 8 without an EHCP?

Dear OP, that is madness. How could you stay there the whole 6h if you were a single mum for example?

They will be used to this. Schools do this to the and pretend they are t the issue. Services are stretched and take a dim view of this type of false accusation. Try not to stress

So you don't want to be there for your kid even though you acknowledge she is struggling??

Bizarre

I read to her yes, not sure how that is relevant! 😂

I haven't specifcally requested anything. I've had 2 meetings with the Senco. We've had no plan or goals or reviews. She has been at a couple of other meetings but doesn't say anything when the head is there. 2 reintegration meetings with head when they suspended DD due to being distressed.

but you are not finding this bizarre to send someone to SS?

Another here who wonders whether you have misunderstood.

We were referred to Family Services when our ND teenage daughter was particularly struggling (self-harm, disordered eating etc). Their role was to ensure we and our daughter had the support we needed. We found them helpful.

The school is struggling to meet your DD’s needs and it sounds like it could be a good thing to have additional agencies supporting her and you.

This happens a lot, particularly with girls who mask until it all gets too much, particularly in secondary school with hormones adding to the mix. Stick to your guns, their plan is clearly not going to meet her needs. Just tell social care what you’ve put here.

Well, I think that's pretty obvious. I think you've missed the point.

Sounds like they feel that dd is not settling because you are giving in and allowing her to go home.

They legally have to provide her an education and you legally have to present her at school. If you are allowing her to leave then you are preventing her accessing her education.

If you are approaching the school the way your posts come across here (and I appreciate that you are frustrated) then I can see why they are flagging this for further assistance.

Why, in y8, is she so unhappy in school that she struggles to make it beyond 15 minutes?

If you are truly honest, is it because age knows if she kicks off you will allow her to go home?

in full honesty, people think this is normal, to send this mother's details to SS because she said to the school she might be busy and cannot stay the whole day in the school?!

I know I have plenty of proof. The lady from the LA that is supporting us did tell me not to worry as it is clear it is not the case at all. But I can't help worrying..

I'm sorry you had to go through it too. It's the last thing you need when you're already trying to support your DC.

How did she cope before now in school?

is this proposal at least a temporary plan while your dd gets acclimated to her 1:1? So that person would stay with you all together? The 3 of you hang out in a quiet safe space and your dd does increasing forays into school with the aide, knowing she can return to you in the quiet room if needed?