Page 17 | To tell Children's Services it is a malicious referal from school

Meltdown247 · 21/09/2024 19:15

UndertheCedartree · 20/09/2024 21:48

So DD's school have today told me they are referring us to Children's Services. Ever since I made a complaint they have been trying to off roll her. They are not putting in proper support for DD leaving her struggling and then not wanting to go in the next day. Apparently this is all my fault. I feel this is just another tactic for me to be so fed up with the school I pull her out.

This sounds like a drip feed. As a Chair of Governors, I would have expected to have heard from you after you followed the school protocol on complaints. I would probably have heard from you more than once and possibly met you with the HT. I would expect the HT to explain to me the reason for a complaint to Children’s Services and I would be very surprised if the SLT had not followed all the rules on safeguarding that for them to this point.

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:17

BackForABit · 21/09/2024 17:58

Can't remember the poster name but ... generally schools (or other statutory services) do have to tell you they've made a safeguarding referral, unless by telling the family it will potentially put the child at more risk (e.g. FII or FGM). Also schools can't refer to Early Intervention services (such as 'Early Help') without parental consent.

I don't understand why so few can believe a school has ever made a malicious referral? Sure it's rare but it does happen. Schools are organisations like any other, made up of normal humans some of whom can be petty or vindictive. Referrals can be worded in a way that gets through normal checks and processes and sometimes teams of people can do unfair things - generally when there is a bad culture overall. Schools (like hospitals, police departments, local authorities etc) are not these magical places where everyone always makes fair and reasoned decisions.

Off rolling does also happen.

Anyway OP, my advice would be to just cooperate fully with Children’s Services while they investigate, do a SAR on the school and only communicate with them in writing from now on.

Personally, after the investigation I would actually deregister if you can afford it because I don't think these people are going to help you out or even offer evidence for the EHCP. You have time before GCSE years. However, if you don't want to do this for any reason, just hang in there, keep her on roll and continue to communicate with school in writing, e.g. 'Just to clarify, you are asking me to stay in school reception all day long so that you can provide my daughter with an education?

I have already done a SAR. School have made that difficult too of course but hopefully I'll get there in the end.

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Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:21

MultiplaLight · 21/09/2024 18:23

Ed. Psychs don't have to have taught.

Calendars change a ridiculous amount in schools. Usually for legitimate reasons. However being given one shouldn't be hard. Just prepare for it to change.

I don't think the church services do as they have to work around the normal parish services. They are planned a year in advance. I have been told this by the Chaplin. They follow the religious year so are at set times.

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Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:24

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 21/09/2024 18:57

It's really clear from all of your posts that you are a wonderful mum and fierce advocate for your daughter.

I just wanted to let you know that it's really obvious you are fighting on behalf of your daughter because you know her best because it can feel like the world's against you when this sort of thing happens.

Thank you

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jrc1071 · 21/09/2024 19:26

UndertheCedartree · 20/09/2024 22:14

She has autism and I have to go and get her from school as she is so distressed. When I pick her up she is in a right state - shaking, self harming, crying, nose bleeds.

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Parent of an autist here. Had major issues with public school. The only work around they had was reduce child's attendance to 60% to reduce the sensory overwhelm of 22 kids and noise. They could not meet child's HP needs either. Was getting more isolated and started feeling suicidal at the tender age of 9. Put child in private school, small class of 10. Is a COMPLETELY different child, excelling, on student council. Wished I made the change much earlier.

School calling CPS is not good, at least IMO as they are tough to deal with. Best may to get her out so she is in a place where she thrives. The meltdowns she has is becuase it is too difficult for her nervous system. So consider putting her in a private school so her nevous system can relax.

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:27

Meltdown247 · 21/09/2024 19:15

This sounds like a drip feed. As a Chair of Governors, I would have expected to have heard from you after you followed the school protocol on complaints. I would probably have heard from you more than once and possibly met you with the HT. I would expect the HT to explain to me the reason for a complaint to Children’s Services and I would be very surprised if the SLT had not followed all the rules on safeguarding that for them to this point.

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You would think wouldn't you? I've been asking for a meeting with the chair of governors for about 6 weeks now. Any idea where to go next? What do you do if the school does not follow their own complaints procedure?

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jrc1071 · 21/09/2024 19:27

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 13:34

Exactly. At what point do the school say OK, we'll put some support in place? After 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years? If DD is to get an education at one point they will have to so why not put a proper target support plan in place now?

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Great questions. IMO most schools cannot deal with it, and it is usually an uphill battle/war for years.

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:28

OtsyBotsy90 · 21/09/2024 18:25

Primary school? My sons did this!!! Did the exact same to me because he had undiagnosed ADHD and instead of helping me.. a young single mum at the time.. recognise the signs and get proper help they told me I must be doing something at home to make him act out! I’d had made complaints about the lack of support for him and that’s what I got. Children’s services came round and in 5 minutes told me the school had completely wasted her time and I never heard from them again! Schools 100% do this!! I’d let them come to their own conclusions though rather than speak out but they will see very quickly it’s the school and not home.

This is a Secondary

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mumatlast14 · 21/09/2024 19:29

Contact 'Not Fine in School ' they will be able to provide support.

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:34

Turnups · 21/09/2024 19:02

It’s so annoying. This is the sort of thing that makes people suspicious about every question.

The OP obviously does need help but it sounds as if she is knowingly wasting people’s time by leaving out salient points (the most charitable interpretation) and trading on their goodwill, in an attempt to get sympathy.

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I don't need to provide a dossier of my past before I post anything.

I'm looking for advice and support about something specific. Which I'm allowed to do. Or do you become a second class citizen because you had a mental break down?

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Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:36

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I don't need to as it is my own life!!

I had a really bad experience with Early Help when I self referred for help with my DS's education. Yes, I know.

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Cityandmakeup · 21/09/2024 19:37

Edingril · 20/09/2024 21:54

What relevant bits are you missing out

This. Schools do not do this. Stop
lying to
yoirself

KerryBlues · 21/09/2024 19:38

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:34

I don't need to provide a dossier of my past before I post anything.

I'm looking for advice and support about something specific. Which I'm allowed to do. Or do you become a second class citizen because you had a mental break down?

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You’re not going to get help when a very large and very relevant chunk of the story is missing.

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:39

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I didn't say that atall. And I know how to do an AS. But I also know it's considered very bad form to use it to bully another poster.

Show me the post where I said 'last time SS was involved was 2017'. You can't. What you will find is I described the situation with Esrly Help too. Not that I need to explain to you. Get back under yiyr bridge.

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Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:44

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

It's sad to see posters give support to someone who needs it? And according to you someone who really needs it.

How sad to see someone trying to bully that person in need and stop them getting the advice that is so valuable to them. Shame on you. You know you'll be deleted because you know you are doing wrong.

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humanverified · 21/09/2024 19:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:46

jrc1071 · 21/09/2024 19:26

Parent of an autist here. Had major issues with public school. The only work around they had was reduce child's attendance to 60% to reduce the sensory overwhelm of 22 kids and noise. They could not meet child's HP needs either. Was getting more isolated and started feeling suicidal at the tender age of 9. Put child in private school, small class of 10. Is a COMPLETELY different child, excelling, on student council. Wished I made the change much earlier.

School calling CPS is not good, at least IMO as they are tough to deal with. Best may to get her out so she is in a place where she thrives. The meltdowns she has is becuase it is too difficult for her nervous system. So consider putting her in a private school so her nevous system can relax.

Show quote history

Unfortunately I can't afford a private school..

OP posts:

humanverified · 21/09/2024 19:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:48

jrc1071 · 21/09/2024 19:27

Great questions. IMO most schools cannot deal with it, and it is usually an uphill battle/war for years.

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That's so depressing. Is it due to the SENCo being overwhelmed do you think?

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Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:48

mylifestory · 21/09/2024 18:36

I will msg you, pls read it, i have been thru the same and it'll include very very important information.

OK, thanks

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Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:55

Cityandmakeup · 21/09/2024 19:37

This. Schools do not do this. Stop
lying to
yoirself

Show quote history

Ha - really? Despite the many, many posts on here describing just that happening.

And why is it if I am the source of all my DD's issues that the school phone me to pick her up frequently? Why does the school want me there to look after my DD all day if I'm the problem?

And why does my DD become distressed at school when I'm not there if I am the source of all her problems?

Why does the Ed Psych, GP, School nurse, LA think the opposite?

OP posts:

Turnups · 21/09/2024 19:58

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:34

I don't need to provide a dossier of my past before I post anything.

I'm looking for advice and support about something specific. Which I'm allowed to do. Or do you become a second class citizen because you had a mental break down?

Show quote history

No. But any advice you are given would be more valuable if readers were writing with full knowledge of your previous experiences with social services. I hope things work out well for you and your children.

Original poster

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:59

KerryBlues · 21/09/2024 19:38

You’re not going to get help when a very large and very relevant chunk of the story is missing.

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I've got plenty of help.

I don't see how it is particularly relevant? I was very unwell in 2017. I'm not now, fully recovered and back at work for around 4 years. This isn't something the school knows about so has had no baring on this situation.

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NeverDropYourMooncup · 21/09/2024 19:59

UndertheCedartree · 21/09/2024 19:55

Ha - really? Despite the many, many posts on here describing just that happening.

And why is it if I am the source of all my DD's issues that the school phone me to pick her up frequently? Why does the school want me there to look after my DD all day if I'm the problem?

And why does my DD become distressed at school when I'm not there if I am the source of all her problems?

Why does the Ed Psych, GP, School nurse, LA think the opposite?

Show quote history

They don't want you there all day, though - they said you couldn't go into the wellbeing room and stay there with her + the worker and appear to have given you an alternative, which is to wait in reception for 15 minutes.

DoggoQuestions · 21/09/2024 20:00

You know when everyone was complaining about teacher strikes...this is exactly why they were striking!

THERE IS NO MONEY TO SUPPORT CHILDREN WITH SEN IN SCHOOL!

I've had 2 breakdowns in the past couple of years trying to fight the council for support for my child. The school were as good as they could be, but there is literally no money there to do anything. We were lucky we got the EHCP pre-covid so DC actually gets a 1:1. If we were applying now, we wouldn't even get agreement to assess for an EHCP.

OP - if it's the SS disability team they've referred to, grab the opportunity and don't let it go!