To tell Children's Services it is a malicious referal from school

[UndertheCedartree]

So DD's school have today told me they are referring us to Children's Services. Ever since I made a complaint they have been trying to off roll her. They are not putting in proper support for DD leaving her struggling and then not wanting to go in the next day. Apparently this is all my fault. I feel this is just another tactic for me to be so fed up with the school I pull her out.

I genuinely cannot see how it is relevant. Thank you for the kind wishes.

You've obviously not read the thread. The school want me available at school all day to look after DD as they are unable to cope with her. Once she is ready for lessons they will come and get her. However that won't magically happen without support so we are stuck in reception. I sat there for 2 hours the other day before ringing the LA who told me to take my DD home.

I had suggested taking DD to the wellbeing room as it worked well at Primary but no, they'd rather we sit in reception all day!

I never complained about teacher strikes. I was annoyed my DD's teacher didn't strike!!

If it isn't I will ask for it to be referred to that team, thank you.

@NeverDropYourMooncup it helps to read a thread properly. OP's DD is not sent to the wellbeing room , with or without her.

What the school wants is for OP to wait at reception so she can be there at any time during the school day when her DD becomes distressed. No privacy, no resources, for as long as it takes , as many times as it's needed. That's not a plan it's a fucking travesty.

It would help if you'd read one of the previous threads where that was exactly what the OP wanted to do.

This is gold. You complained that the school weren’t providing adequate support for your dd. They make a referral to children’s services to start the process of accessing additional (external) support, and you call that referral “malicious”??! You couldn’t make it up.

Wouldn't it have been easier to support the EHCP application last year?

Well an EHCP isn’t the first port of call, it’s usually more appropriate to start with a referral to children’s services for support… maybe last year they didn’t feel even that stage had been reached yet. I realise I haven’t rtft but I did read several pages before posting… just checked and OP has drip fed over dozens of posts which I don’t have time to read. So only going on what she chose to tell us upfront.

Also, it may be an incompetent, untimely, or inappropriate referral, but no kind of referral for support is going to be malicious.

Quite simply - why would they do that? It’s so much extra work, and no teacher likes to refer, it’s the worst part of the job. They will be genuinely concerned to have done this

What on earth does me suggesting something to school that helped before have anything to do with this situation.

It doesn't change how unsuitable the plan is, does it?

Unfortunately, this is not uncommon. I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily malicious but sometimes schools refer but they don’t know what else to do and don’t think they can meet a child needs, but don’t or can’t, just say that. SS are used to these types of referrals

I know people don’t believe school would do this maliciously but it happened to me.

I tried repeatedly to tell them how severe her asthma was, they always dismissed me, one day I picked her up and her lips were blue and she could barely breath, I called an ambulance from the playground and she was admitted to ICU. Even after that they told me I was over bearing and lots of children had asthma they knew how to manage it. I reported them to ofsted for safeguarding concerns, in turn they reported me to children’s services for fabricated or induced illness. It was obviously dropped as soon as they spoke to our GP but their referral was a knee jerk reaction to my referral.

OP, just let children’s services do their investigation. I found them completely reasonable and I didn’t need to ‘prove myself’ the facts did all that. Sending love though it’s an incredibly stressful time

Maybe read the thread. We have plenty of additional (external) support. The trouble is the school won't follow any of their recommendations.

The referal from the school was not to access additional support - it was to report me for causing all my DD's issues.

Miraculously, unlke other DC with autism and anxiety these don't effect her and all the things school do that go against recommendations don't effect her either. The reason she has meltdowns in school is because of her mother. The mother is obviously very bad however the school is happy to leave the DD in her care most of the time when she should be at school!

Quite. Perhaps the school could have done a targeted plan like they were supposed to and then have evidence for the EHCNA. But I'm sure ignoring the set process and going rogue will be fine!

Well, countless posters have explained exactly this happening.

I mean why would they do it? It could be wilfull ignorance I suppose but maybe educate yourself, then.

DD is fine with me. She is not fine at school. There are a number of reports explaining in detail what is happening to DD and giving recommendations. The school will not follow these recommendations. DD is so distressed at school I have to pick her up early frequently. Now I have to stay in school with her. And I'm the problem?!

The school MUST follow their complaints process which MUST be shown on their website. If they fail to do that, then you should first see if the school is in an academy trust and contact them. If not m, write again by post (registered) to the school and politely outline the events that have lead to the current situation. Stick to facts, no opinions, remain professional and forthright. No conjecture. Think like a lawyer. Give details of all conversations and emails/letters, include dates.
put the complaint into the context of the school rules / published guidance. Above all do not get agitated. Worse case there are educational solicitors who will give you free advice and possibly do no win no fee. You can also complain to the county education authority but I suggest asking your MP to help if possible. They have weekly surgeries (often Friday) and they can be good.

I'm sorry that's nonsense. Children's Services are not there to provide support where a school won't provide any themselves! The school must put support in themselves and apply for an EHCP if the child needs more than they can provide. I've been told by the school she needs an EHCP since last November.

I've 'drip fed' or what most people call had a conversation!

What the actual.

You didn't support an EHCP application for your own child.

I'm. Out.

Go your own way.

I do get it. DD3's school referred to social services because I refused a home visit. I had offered a video call, in which I would ask DD3 to show her face, and I had offered to go into school for a meeting, which is what was agreed with the Assistant Head. But the attendance officer wanted to be able to visit the house. Which I refused because DD3 was traumatised by school and home was her safe space. Instead of accepting that, the attendance officer told the Assistant Head that I'd refused all contact including the video call. They then got her Deputy Head of Year (who had never dealt with DD3) to refer to Social Services.

Fortunately, we were 10 days away from the Decision to Issue deadline with the EHCP process. When Social Services phoned to say that they were thinking that they needed to carry out an assessment because the school had said some really worrying things, I was able to tell them the dates of last contact, the dates of her SaLT assessment, Occupational Therapy assessment, Educational Psychology assessment, and that the EP had stated that she was traumatised by her school experiences and could not return there. I was offered Early Help, for a 'Team around the Child' meeting. When I asked what that could achieve that the SaLT, OT, and EHCP couldn't, the SW agreed that there really wasn't anything.

However, this situation can't continue @UndertheCedartree. Something has to change. I hope you get a resolution soon.

Have you used IPSEA's Template Letter 1 to request an EHC Needs Assessment. If you haven't, you need to do it ASAP. DD3 was struggling at the same stage as your DD, and she is now in a specialist school. I applied for her EHCNA in November 2023.

@UndertheCedartree you don’t need school to refer for an echp needs assessment. Put it in writing to your local authority that you want this and they have a statutory duty to assess.

Thank you so much and I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad your DD is ok.

I'm not sure if the Head planned it all along or they just got to annoyed they said it on the spur of the moment. They were definitely losing control. At least everyone in the meeting saw it and it was recorded.

It has never been voiced but I think she may think I could be fabricating DD's autism/anxiety, although God knows how? The thing that made me think this is in the Educational Psych's reports she was at pains to point out my relationship with DD was completely normal and DD's issues with separation anxiety were due to her autism and extremely common with autistic DC. It just made me think.

They MUST but they don't. They are a single academy trust.

But if I complain about them not following their complaint procedure won't they just hate me more and make life even harder for me?

Is there anyway you can speak to a SEN governor? I know there is always a big thing about not contacting them directly. Maybe I'll have to write a recorded letter to the governor secretary? (sorry can't remember her title) asking if I can speak to the SEN governor.

What?! I was the one that applied for the EHCNA and gave all the evidence and am.now appealing. What are you on about??