Would you become pregnant at 47 if....

[Noangelbuthavingfun]

*Also posted in pregnancy

You desperately know you've always wanted a 2nd child and it never went away ... tried but failed many times.... would you go for donor eggs and partner sperm and just do it ? Many celebrities do it late into 40s.... its now or never. I'm just thinking you regret the things you never did... aibu to just do it ? Has anyone you know or have you done this ??

The sad fact is you never know what's around the corner health wise at any age.

My second pregnancy at 38 wrecked me. But I think I’d keep any accidents at this point. I wouldn’t try anymore and definitely not this late. I’m curious why you dropped it and then decided to start trying again.

a big deciding factor is if you have celeb money - enough for the nanny to do rough play, PT and dieticians and chefs to keep you in shape. Admin and housekeepers to take that off you so you have time to parent. Medical team to help you age healthy. If you have all that, your child would have a great life!

I had my second just as I turned 43 and no I wouldn’t. It is old to have kids and while it’s ok now (I’m early 50s) I am very aware of the effects of ageing, in a way I wasn’t when I was 43. I’m also very aware of how early I will die in my children’s lives.

There are many more corners the older you get.

the only thing that I wouldn't want to experience again is pregnancy, even though my 1st one at 30 was super easy with easy delivery. Still won't play roulette with that given that body ages.

Yes! Many people will say no as it's not the norm but also plenty of people do this. I would ask the advice to people who support this sort of thing and not on a general forum or you will get a lot of negative responses. Follow Liberty Mills on instagram and also message her for advice x

You parents must have been very unfit though. I am in my early 50s and my H later 50s and we can still run and jump and climb and play with our kids. If you can’t do that in your 50s you are just unfit.

For me no, but it's difficult to take lived experience out of it.
I had two kids in my early to earlymid 30s.
I can only imagine it must be very difficult to move on if you are left desperately wanting another.

We have young Grandchildren and still do all of this and more 😁& love it. As mentioned my mother had my brother at 48. There was an 8 year age gap & I loved having a baby to 'mother' He is now like a big brother to me 😂

My mum showed signs of Alzheimer’s at 55…that was difficult enough to deal with when I was 28…imagine if I’d been 8…

You're kidding yourself.

Not for a 2nd child. Not so much the age but using donor eggs for one when they weren't used for the other.

My mother was delighted with her late baby as many women are. It kept her young.You can't generalise. Every woman is different

I think only you can know the answer to this one, whatever other people say. My grandmother had a surprise baby boy in her mid forties. Not only did she bring him up, she also had a big role in bringing his daughter up to adulthood (and she wasn't born until my uncle was c30).

My uncle is very close to his older brother and sister even though there's a big age gap. I'm closer in age to my uncle than his own siblings. I know a few families the same.

The only down side is his father died young so he doesn't really remember him and he never met his grandparents unlike the others.

No. Sorry but I think it’s a very selfish choice.

I'm just thinking you regret the things you never did

Sayings like these are meaningless. You also regret many things that you do.

Another consideration (beyond the difficulty you might have yourself in your 50s and 60s) is that your child might end up dealing with elderly parents and all the related problems whilst trying to raise their own young family. It’s tough, but I think you should try to reconcile yourself to the fact that your childbearing years are behind you. Also, I’m a teacher, and it’s very common for children of older parents to feel very embarrassed by, and angry with, them especially as young teens. I’ve seen some really tricky relationships. Be very realistic about the potential problems you and your children could face. Forget about the baby part - that could still be lovely - but it’s a very short part of everyone’s lives. Your and your children’s problems, even assuming the child is healthy, would be once you hit late fifties.

Nonsense. Adoption is often due to infertility or other circumstances prevented someone from getting pregnant but still wanting to nurture and raise a child.

One of my very good friends adopted a little girl because she was single, and been single most her life so didn’t see much chance of that changing, bio clock ticking and very much against using donor sperm. Whilst an arduous processes, she had no problem adopting.

Thank you.

I know it’s not most people’s experience - and I do recognise that older parenthood can bring problems for the DC, but we’ve been fit and active with DS2.

I do think I wouldn’t have tried much past 40 though.

It's not nonsense. Of course infertility is often a reason for people exploring adoption but the OP is desperate for a birth child (to the extent of considering donor eggs) and if she were to approach an adoption agency she would be advised to seek counselling and wait until she's come to terms with not having that child before considering adoption. It's not fair or safe for an adopted child to be a replacement for a non existent birth child.

I respect your comment as a Teacher but are you also saying children are embarrassed by their Grandparents collecting them from school etc as many do. Many older parents still have loads of help from Grandparents who are fit and healthy in their 70s. Again you can't generalise when all circumstances are different. There are school age children caring for parents in their 30s & 40s when they return from school. I had my children in my late 20s and wouldn't change this but I wouldn't suggest older women shouldn't go ahead if they feel capable.

I had mine at 43-44. My one and that´s it. I wouldn´t do it at 47 for a second. Spreading yourself too thin and all that. AT the end of the day, all women are different and so are their circumstances.

My friend did. I am exhausted just thinking about it but her 2 miracle DCs born at 46 and 48 are her entire world ❤️

I would read the donor concieved threads on reddit which are full of children amd young adults born from this process. It helped me when I was making a similar decision.

I don't think it matters what other people would do. You'll get a lot of posters saying hell no ( and I'm one of them!) because that's how we feel. I suspect 1000 posters could tell you no but that's not what you want and you'll reach the end of the thread still not agreeing with them. You need to do a lot of soul searching and definitely consider counselling before doing anything x