To be frustrated with my friend who’s become a “guru” after a trip to India?

[Silentfriend]

My friend recently went to India and has returned with a completely new attitude. She now acts like she’s a life guru, constantly telling people to quit their jobs, disregard their managers, and dismisses “first-world problems” with a “you just don’t understand” attitude. She even created a separate Instagram page to give out life advice, though it seems more like she’s having a mid-life crisis rather than offering genuine wisdom.

I’m getting really tired of her constant preachiness and the way she’s acting superior. AIBU to feel frustrated with her attitude and the way she’s using her trip as a platform to push her new “enlightened” persona?

This makes me think of Manny from Black Books when he swallows the little book of calm!

The Beatles went to India and were transformed. Think it was George Harrison that got them into transcendental meditation.

Very spiritual place so its bound to have an effect, though not quite as dramatic as OP's now guru friend!

I don't see anything wrong with someone exploring different cultural practices. For example, you might have a Swedish ancestor so get interested in Sweden and begin to explore Swedish culture, food, language and music. Perhaps you buy a few Swedish things for your home (I think a lot of us do that!), put a Swedish flag pin on your jacket or tell your friends a couple of anecdotes about how things are done in Sweden... But taking on Swedish ideas and claiming that they are authentically your own, getting offended on behalf of Sweden or claiming to actually be Swedish is where it crosses the line.

Get her to read “Queen Lucia” by EF Benson, one of the funniest books ever written with quite a bit to say about gurus

My relative is 27, lived all her life at home (in a separate mortgage and rent free annexe), traveled very little, no children or serious life experiences but is a life coach, yoga teacher and healer of course. She teaches people how to manage their lives, challenges, mental health problems. No qualifications of course (apart from a yoga teaching certificate). And charges £90 for zoom healing.

i feel sorry for people with genuine mental health problems who fall for her and IMO it should not be allowed. But apparently anyone can call themselves life coach.

Just the title of this thread made me LOL!

People who went through a real “transformation” does not feel the need to preach to others. They are happy internally and very accepting for other peoples choices.

For me she is insecure and her preaching is a form of lifting up her own ego and self-esteem, nothing to do with personal growth or transformation.

OP think why what she says bothers you. You can work on your reactions, you cannot change her behaviour. Do what your gut is telling you, protect your emotions first.

all the best xxx

Indeed! And all the kids with spanish names including Ilaria! Just insane

Ha! It's like those wazzocks who do the Camino, then come back home, dump their partners and get all deep.

My sister got into yoga and mediating (slightly before it became fairly universal)

I got a lot of -

"I guess I just experience things on a higher level"

"This is my truth" (usually when she disagreed with someone)

"I'm not in a talking place at this time"

Weirdly when I also got into yoga and meditation a few years later I managed not to be a dick about it.

Same when one of my friends was doing her counselling training "so tell me how does that make you feel"🙄

That Guardian article is pretty interesting, especially that people tend to recover once they have come back down to earth with a bump in Ohio, Chicago or wherever...

I like a holiday and I like visiting interesting, historical or beautiful places, but I don't think that I am any better that someone who hasn't visited those places, nor have I ever really been convinced that 'going travelling' has any inherent moral or developmental value for a young adult. After all, you take yourself with you and always need to come back sooner or later.

I want what she's having

I’ve always wondered what Alec Baldwin thinks about Hilaria, he must know she’s not Spanish! Does she keep the fake accent up at home?

😂😂 this made me LOL!

Is his name Master Bator? I know quite a few of them...

This thread has really made me laugh, thank you everyone! 😆

I mean, this thread is very funny, and far reaching potentially. Perhaps we underestimate her ability to raise our vibrational frequency.

Hahah I know the exact type of person you’re talking about, and the funny thing is that they seem completely oblivious to the level of privilege you normally need to have this mindset.

Harping on about first world problems yet the ability to quit a job without another lined up has to be one of the definitions of first world comfort. I think probably 99.9% of people who were miserable at work would just quit if it wasn’t going to plunge them into financial despair - they don’t need her to tell them that 😂

@NobbyNeighbour I think I know who you mean. I often puzzle about the business model with instagram. I can’t work out if some people are flogging expensive courses or personal tuition or if they have wealthy patrons. Constantly going to Dubai suggests wealthy patron doesn’t it?

@Silentfriend the first thing I think about your friend is it’s going to be a business of some kind. But I can’t figure out how these people are funding things, if they are rich initially and just want the plaudits or what.

I don’t look at this stuff much myself but a close contact went on a business course and was amazed at the numbers of people making money through some kind of spiritual thing. I wasn’t on the course but I’m really curious to know if they actually make money. She was telling me to do something based on my (not ample) knowledge of fluffy stuff that might appeal
to these types.

sorry I’ve gone off on a tangent but the spiritual thing is not the only business I’m suspicious about. I think a lot of people who run a business are actually independently wealthy and present themselves as if they’re making lots from their business.

finally, I’m curious about the poster who said they’d come back from India with a rock solid nervous system…am wondering why.

Master Sri, well worth a look at on social media if you want a laugh and also a lesson in how to be a total grifter and make shed loads of money.

Tell her you've been to Blackpool and she cooks chips incorrectly and doesn't appreciate rock and bingo.

@EmeraldRoulette , no idea how he makes the money. Is it my having YouTube and instagram moniterised as he has so many followers? Do people send him money?

a friend of mine lives in the same village and has managed to avoid the cult. Her garden has a mooring and when we’re sat outside we can see the waterways, he’s sometimes bimbling about on a boat with some followers. They’re often making videos while on the boat.

no idea what goes on in Dubai.

Don't worry there are plenty of spiritual gurus and health gurus or any time of gurus in India. No one can take away preaching from Indians.
Have experienced too much of it as an Indian 😅

To be fair I'm irish and there's a woman in my town who basically flew over London and came home with a London accent 😅 spent 2 years living in England. 6 years total living with an English man and I haven't a whiff of an English accent. Some people are just a bit strange

You meet lots of these people in Goa

I am half south Asian and was told a few times that I must feel a connection to India. Erm no I don't. My family are not Indian

My family find it hilarious that particularly middle class British people have an idea of how Asian people are and that we are very spiritual people. My family are not spiritual in anyway (religious yes) and also very materialistic