To be frustrated with my friend who’s become a “guru” after a trip to India?

[Silentfriend]

My friend recently went to India and has returned with a completely new attitude. She now acts like she’s a life guru, constantly telling people to quit their jobs, disregard their managers, and dismisses “first-world problems” with a “you just don’t understand” attitude. She even created a separate Instagram page to give out life advice, though it seems more like she’s having a mid-life crisis rather than offering genuine wisdom.

I’m getting really tired of her constant preachiness and the way she’s acting superior. AIBU to feel frustrated with her attitude and the way she’s using her trip as a platform to push her new “enlightened” persona?

I'm also sensing this is why he's now your sister's ex boyfriend 🤣 too funny...

People like this make me Howl. A bloke I went to school with, my ex , went through a spell where he was the towns biggest drug dealer. He had to go into rehab twice and went to prison at one point. But he was clever in that he squirrelled away an Enough money to buy a few houses after he set up a front company installing house alarms. Then his parents died suddenly and he inherited from them and went travelling for a few months . Did kick boxing in Thailand and then went to India. He's come back and started his own YouTube and insta etc preaching life changing spiritual advice and is all about ditching materialism..... all the time he's a landlord, drives a very shiny Tesla, gets his hair coloured to cover the grey, and gets it styled weekly when he gets his spray tan. He even wafts about in a kaftan 😂🤷🏼‍♀️🫣. It's totally cringey on every possible level.

Oh god OP I feel you. She'll either get over it or you'll just have to mute her. I got caught up many years ago in a community of terribly 'spiritual' people when I was at a very vulnerable point in my life. Lots of stuff about 'self-actualisation', 'finding your path', floaty clothes and raising one's vibrational energy etc. It was very soothing and inspiring for a while, and then I noticed that every single one of the self-appointed 'leaders' of this network (it wasn't quite a cult but there was a lot of groupthink) had manifested their spirituality in the form of being serial shaggers (lots of 'free love' going around in the early 2000s in the South East of England, apparently), deciding that their pursuit of a higher plane meant leaving their spouses and children (mostly men ofc but also women), and no-one actually had a, y'know, JOB. I kind of woke up one day and thought 'they aren't actually spiritual, they are just selfish, self-absorbed twats wtf am I doing'. Luckily my DH was patient as I was 'finding myself' and probably being a bit of a twat too. I still like a nice rose quartz crystal tho.

Oh my god! Lmfao! I’m cringing on her behalf

what a tool! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

What a biscuit.

I went to India and the only sage advice I have for people after my experience is not to assume your delicate Brit stomach can cope with curry three times a day for a fortnight. I had to give up on curry for brekkie 6 days in!

hopefully she snaps out of it. I always think people like this just have very little else going on in life if one trip can become their whole reason for being.

I LOVE being right!

Are other people not giving her a hard time about this though? I know some very direct, straight talking people - they just wouldn’t put up with this sort of nonsense.

This why I could never live in Totnes.

If you know you know!

After reading this thread, I'm almost disappointed that this hasnt happened to anyone I know (yet!) 🤣

Ha yes I remember when we visited it had that vibe.

Glastonbury takes it to the next level. There's a guy there who reckons he's a Buddha and the reincarnation of Jesus, probably took more than a fortnights hols tbf.

How old are you, though? There are peak points of likelihood — gap year, midlife-crisis, post-retirement are going to be the most likely life stages for a brand-new guru to appear in your life.

46
Surely someone i know must be ready for this kind of midlife crisis....?

It's like this video:

Hahaha the life points are so fucking true. The gap yah, the middle aged existential panic, and/or the release of being retired and able to become a crystal hugger. Spot on observation 😅 I still can't judge too hard though, I do like hearing people's life changing experiences even if I do lol a bit internally

Ha, I’d imagine they are, but she seems pretty oblivious to it all. The whole situation is a bit surreal!

Ha, I’d imagine they are, but she seems pretty oblivious to it all. The whole situation is a bit surreal!

This is a thing!

I have family in Mumbai and was there a few weeks ago. The funny thing is there are definitely segments of society in big cities in India who are pretty materialistic and don't mind flaunting their financial success or generational wealth. Certain sectors of the economy are doing great guns at the moment and Mumbai has a boom town feel to it. Great for those who are doing well from it but it ain't all yoga and lentils and transcendent experiences. My DH was born in India and he sometimes finds London more "down to earth" by comparison. Which makes the white people going to India and banging on about how they have learned to reject materialism and gained spiritual enlightenment somehow all the more hilarious.

This article in the Guardian about "India syndrome" and western travellers going off the rails/having intense spiritual experiences is fascinating but horrifying

www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/13/india-syndrome-lost-in-the-valley-of-death-harley-rustad

Agree on the life points, I’m just hitting midlife crisis age and the crystal woo is looking much more attractive than it used to!

Same, I’ve never had a spiritual experience in India, lots of mosquito bites, had malaria once. I don’t really get it tbh, maybe it’s just that eastern religions are just so different from abrahamic ones and then someone smokes some resin and boom, mental break. I used to quite like the “guru” from “goodness gracious me” theres a reason it’s a pisstake.

I remember the story of a wealthy Jain couple who decided to do the enlightenment bit seriously, they literally walked out with the clothes on their back and abandoned their 3yr old daughter and went to live on alms. It was in the newspaper. Enlightenment is a serious business, the whole point is to shed everything, people, material possessions. It’s actually brutal. People have a very romanticised vision of what it is, it actually involves immense hardship. Happily I don’t believe in it.

🤣

Travelling round America (I should immediately adopt a Texas drawl!), I got chatting to a guy who claimed he was Irish. Being of Irish heritage, I asked him where his family was from, to which he replied ‘No idea, I’m 9th generation’. 😹 Brilliant!

I must admit, I’ve done the reverse of some people who’ve adopted accents. I had the corners knocked off mine as a new teacher when the students took the piss out of the way I said some words.

That is such a thing in America and Canada also. My DD’s bf is Canadian and they make a big thing about their Irish ancestry. It was many, many generations ago but the kids have Irish names, etc.

I was listening to an interview on RTE radio with the Irish guy from Umbrella Academy (he's the immortal one).

He said he found meditation and it took a minute to get over the huge ego and smugness of being enlightened and stop being a prick. Apparently it is a common thing, and something people need to work through.

First time I was in the pub in New York, there was a bloke wandering round with a bucket muttering 'Money for the cause'. I was amazed!