Friends Husband sending Me MSG - what to do?

[Coffeeforthee]

My Friend is through a Hobby I do 3x a Week.
She doesn't drive so her DH drops her off and collects, I've met him during these occasions over 3 Years, we've also been at the same social events through the Hobby. I would say I'm relatively close to my friend, outside of Hobby we text a few times a week and have had occasional Girls Lunches together too. I've spoken to her DH plenty of times but only polite chit chat, I wouldn't consider him a Friend. My DH hasn't clicked with him on the occasions they've met either, no bad feelings just very different people.
Now the aibu - Friend obviously goes home and talks to her DH about things we've spoken about when meeting up, all fine, I do the same.
But 3 times now her DH has then sent me a text message about those conversations, for instance, I discussed my Dds current issue at College - he text me and asked about it.
AIBU to think this is a little strange, or is he just trying to make Friends?! I haven't replied, just ignored the messages so far

Why does he even have your number? None of my friend's DH's have my number.

Hard to say. My DH has a friend who I have dealt with over lifts etc. We have all become friends, and I have just supported him through a bad time. There were plenty of messages between us. Me and my DH are good friends with a couple, we all message one another at various points and asking something like that would be normal.

However, all of the above depends on your closeness. If you're not that close it's odd and I'd feel like he was being strange, if you're close friends it's fine.

I'd be wondering why she's given him your number in the first place??

Ignore.

I would bring it up with your friend; does she know? That's what will tell you.

The only advice I can give you is to ignore the messages. Whenever another woman’s husband messages you - ignore, ignore, ignore.

It's very weird and not normal at all. He's a chancer.

for instance, I discussed my Dds current issue at College - he text me and asked about it.

I assume he has no specific knowledge that would make his input useful here?

Sounds weird. Why does he have your number?

I agree it seems strange. Either he's not clued in on social norms/ he's overly controlling/ he's a chancer. I'd ignore and find a way to mention to your friend in passing. If you're telling her things in confidence then it's a bit off she's running to tell her husband who's then messaging you about it.

Yeah this. I'd be interested to know...

Very odd. The only time I can see this being appropriate would be in the very specific situation where he has specifi cexpertise. So, for example, if he is in a leadership position at a college and has some specific thoughts that might help or is willing to step in and make a recommendation.

The chances of three very specific situations in which he has really helpful, and unique, insights... seems low to me. Very inappropriate. At best, he's a wanker know-it-all. At worst, he's trying it on.

My advice would be to ignore his messages but what's his personality like on the occasions you've spent time with him? Is he an extrovert - everyone is his new best friend? If that's his personality, then I can see him believing he's as much your friend as his wife is. What I do think would be telling is what exactly he wants to know about your daughter? The questions he raises should tell you exactly what he's up to.

Agreed - unless he is genuinely involved in DC activities. I have the numbers of two dads of DS’s friends because it’s them as much as their wives who organise meet ups. But that is all we text about - just the arrangements.

I’d block him tbh and tell her I’d done so. It’s not welcome or appropriate for him to text you if you’re not friends

Forward the messages to her

In answer to a few questions, he has my number from when she left her phone in his Car so used mine to contact him after he had dropped her to the Hobby. Also, he has no interest in DD or her course (she's studying performing arts and he's a tree surgeon) his first message to Me was about a TV Programme.
Thank you for all the advice, I'm going to continue to ignore.

Block him and ask your friend to tell him to stop contacting you. Very odd.

I would also find a casual way to mention him messaging you. You want her to know but also to don't want her to think that you are stirring or suspect him of anything. That way if it's behaviour she would have an issue with you are an innocent and honest bystander rather then sneaky (if you kept it secret) or trifling (if you accuse him of inappropriate/weird behavior)

I would wait for an opportunity to say. 'Oh did DH get that thing sorted he mentioned?' or 'oh I looked up that thing that DH mentioned and I found xyz'. Taylor to fit the text conversation.

In that case, I'd igore BUT if it doesn't stop, or ramps up, I'd say somethign to her like, "Do you know why your DH keeps trying to talk to me about stuff you and I have talked about? it's a bit odd. hahahaha" or a more direct, "Could I ask you to please either stop discussing our chats with your DH or asking him not to contact me? I don't mind that you talk about stuff, but I talk to you and I don't reall ywant to discuss these issues with him."

Your use of capital letters is Strange

A friend had a situation like this from a layby meet. Geezer kept messaging his DW. Tell your friend register awareness of the situation you never know where it may lead. Also make sure your DH is aware. This way if anything progresses you won't feel stuck and unable to speak up. HF DH could be genuine thinking he can help trying to be friendly, supportive etc or he could be a dog with 2 dicks. This needs pinning down.

I'd say he's using the information his wife has given him, to try and engage you in conversation via text messages. I suspect once he had you engaged, at some point those text messages from him would start to become a little flirty, just to test the waters! I would continue to ignore the messages. If they keep coming in, then I'd ask your friend why her husband keeps messaging you - keep the texts! I doubt she is aware! And at the moment he's done nothing actually wrong. Eventually, I expect he'll stop because he will realise he's not getting anywhere.

He had no right to save your number .

Id definitely be telling my friend and ask it’s stops

Treat it innocently, as it is so far. Be open with your other half about what is happening. If it becomes inappropriate, challenge the bloke. I'm not sure he's actually done anything wrong yet (albeit a bit odd). Not all interaction becomes sexual.

Am I the only one that finds it weird that you find it weird?
You've said that you've hung out with him and his wife on several occasions, maybe he he's picking up the message that you're friends considering your relatively close with his wife.

It would be a little weird if he's just randomly started texting you on your phone number, but if you've given him the number or you're friends on FB and he's messaging you though that, then it's not really that weird.

My friends husband texts me a few times a week, sometimes about things I've spoken to my friend about, like recommendations for things or random pictures of things he thinks I'd find funny or interesting.