To think this is disgusting?

[planAplanB]

Adult male takes a shower over the bath with the plug in. Gets out and tops the water up to make a bath for the children.

Aibu - yes you're being unreasonable as this saves water.

No - it's disgusting to have your children bathing in their dad's shower water.

Nb: at least four public hairs were spotted floating around in the water.

@Twiglets1 in a later post, OP says her 8 year old refused to get in, quite rightly, and she pulled the plug and made a fresh bath.

I guess it’s good he’s trying to save water but this isn’t the way to do it.

If he’s concerned about the water usage then why not tell him to bath the kid first and then he get in the bath after him.

A quick shower is not enough for a bath anyway so he’s not even saving that much.

It’s not the worst thing in the world, I know many men (and women) who bathe with their kids but it just seems unnecessary.

Yes I have addressed that above (missed that later post until now). OP did the right thing in not forcing her child to do something they felt uncomfortable about.

Ok that’s fair. ✌️
.

We used to have to share bath water as a kid, my step dad was hairy and his pubes would fill the tub, it was disgusting as I’d have to pick them off me. Put me off hairy men for life.

@Twiglets1 I think I was typing as you were replying.

Nah, that's rank🤢🤢

I agree with you OP.

Yes it's gross and unsanitary. Tradition is that if you must all use the same water, you bathe the youngest first. Presuming all are in good health and reasonably clean.

Why wouldn't you do it the other way round with fresh water for your DC and top up hot water as you go? Why oh why would anyone want DC to bathe in 3rd hand water with adult bum sweat, shit and piss residue? Just disgusting😩

It's gross, I'd absolutely put a stop to it.

The OP said her 8 year old refused to get in and her DP thought that they were out of order. We aren't talking about adults and sharing with the person you have sex with.

Because water cools down? And we're saving water and saving heating the water.
Because we're not generally that dirty that anyone is bathing in shit residue, bum sweat is not an issue!

I feel like we are very different people, you and I. I don't wash my towels after every use, I've never bought zoflora, I am - by Mumsnet standards - a filthy slattern 😁

And yet, my family continues to live healthily.... Dunno how we've managed to keep going all these years despite the bum sweat, but here we are, all still alive and kicking!

I don't normally do the - but other people have it so much worse - thing, but chances are good that every single person on this thread has bathed in clean, hot water more or less recently. Probably none of us smell, or are rank or disgusting, or in need a green disgusted face emoji.

Even the bath water share-ers, are luckier than the majority of humans throughout civilization. We're all clean enough.

I'm relaxed about hygiene but this is a step too far. A quick shower for kids if money is very tight would suffice
Not good for kids thinking they don't deserve clean bath water!

@MonsteraMama

It really is. As much as people insist they are clean, there is inevitably going to be bits of sweat, bits of dead skin and hair discarded after each use. There’s bound to be because we all sweat and we all shed skin and hair.

why you’d stick your kid in water 2 adults have just washed themselves in that water is beyond me. I don’t think it’ll make anyone ill but it doesn’t make it not gross.

Are they trying to save on heating costs? I could do without the pubes but it’s probably not the end of the world unless the dad is especially grubby.

I think it might have been before central heating combi boilers were standard. The older boilers and Immersion heaters were quite expensive and took an hour to heat up, so if the bath was drained the next person had to wait, and if you were all going out that was difficult. Oh the arguments me and DSIS used to have over whos turn it was and who had left the 'mersh" on. 🤣

Ya thats disgusting

Yep, this! And I seem to remember the tank would start cooling back down if you didn't pick the exact optimum moment to have your bath (certainly in our house, anyway - no idea if that's normal). Having a bath was quite the production!

I remember people being advised to bathe sparingly/have shallow baths/share bathwater in the drought of 1976 (I was 8). It probably would have felt more grim if I'd been used to daily baths, but that was frowned on in our house (skint parents, bath just once or twice a week and a daily stand-up wash in between was deemed sufficient). It does seem scuzzy looking back, but felt normal at the time.

@NewGreenDuck

thats true, but irrelevant.

YANBU it is disgusting

I'm not sure what the logic is of swimming with a load of strangers if sharing bath water with family seems so repulsive? Swimming baths contain disinfectant so perhaps that makes them OK germ-wise but there will still be the odd public hair floating around, surely, not to mention those 'crumbs'.

DH and I share bathwater, but that's our choice, I certainly wouldn't bathe my kids in dirty water - yuk