To find talk of salary crass?

[peachese]

Met up with women I went to university with over the weekend and we haven’t seen each other since covid/lockdown. One is in the same job and she was explaining what she’s doing and then said “and it pays really well” and her husband earns a “shit load”.

I had another friend who every time I saw her she was telling me about a bonus or pay rise. Then I changed jobs (previously poorly paid) and she asked “is the salary better” and I just said “yeah is it” and suddenly now she doesn’t ever talk about pay.

I find it useful talking about salary in the sense you can if you're being paid equally for other people who do the same job.

People will say they earn more because of qualifications but there are jobs where people are equally qualified, do exactly the same job to the same standard and are paid less.

Plus women being paid less than men too.

Open discussions about salary promote equality and fair pay so YABU.

Honestly, I can't get worked up about that. I am pretty certain most of my circle is aware of my salary as it came up in conversation at some point. It's not some secret knowledge. How is talking about salary any more crass than anything else you might talk to your friends about?

I agree with you. Anyone talking about salary is usually just to show off. PS I am a high earner and would never discuss salary in real life, so it's not that I'm bitter or anything.

Absolutely not!!! I recently started a new job and negotiated a salary £6K higher than what was originally advertised- in fact, they ended up offering the other 2 people alongside me the same salary (same roles). We've never talked money with each other but if I hadn't raised being underpaid in our job, we'd have all be worse off! We follow set pay scales though so our salaries aren't really a secret in the grand scheme of things. I would find it off putting however, if anyone ever asked me for exact figures on what I was earning. YABU

Talk of salary never bothers me but I've always worked in the public sector and with a quick Google could see my / colleagues salary.

It's very boorish behaviour and I wouldn't be impressed.

The OP didn't say negotiating salaries, that's 2 totally different things. Bragging about a salary to a friend who you don't work with doesn't compare to negotiating a salary.

Totally crass.

One person's 'shit loads' is another's 'bugger all'. Dodgy ground with friends.

The only people that try to to discourage talk of money are those that are have loads themselves or are underpaying people. It's a uniquely British thing. In some countries everyone's salaries and tax returns are publicly available so anyone can see what anyone else earns. That gets rid of the secrecy around salaries in companies that try to exploit and underpay as much as possible.

It's crass, but it should be normalised. It's important to know what jobs pay how much, for career progression, the gender pay gap and for kids looking into careers. We need to get over the Britishness of not talking about money, because it does us (women) no favours.

The only people that try to to discourage talk of money are those that are have loads themselves or are underpaying people.

You forgot to add or those with manners. Do you tell everyone how much everything costs as well so everyone can compare prices?

I think 'crass' is entirely subjective, and has just been a useful way to keep people quiet in the past; fuck that, I'm happy to be open about things with people.

The concept of 'not talking about your salary' is something employers came up with to prevent people comparing their pay and discovering others earn more.
So all the snobby people who think its bad manners? Are just people who don't understand they are supporting employers in paying people unequally.
Many workplaces and oragnisations publish their payscales and this is because being open and pay and remuneration generally results in less inequality for eg between men and women, and between people of different ethnic groups.
If more people discussed what they are paid openly employers would not be able to get away with poor pay so often.

Eh? It could be excruciating in so many social circles - I would never tell my friends what I earn and certainly not people who I know earn a fraction of what I do.

The working classes of society have been groomed to believe talking about salaries is crass for centuries. Being convinced that it's a taboo keeps wages low and allows disparity to happen unchallenged - gender pay gap anyone?

My company gave a general low % raise to everyone a few weeks ago and the last line of the letter was "Your pay is confidential and should not be discussed with anyone else" - wonder why?!

So important to talk about salaries, esp. with colleagues who are women or ethnic/religious minorities. They so often do a similar job at lesser pay. Keeping quiet about pay is a way of keeping people from demanding appropriate remuneration.

I also think it is important so people understand what suggestions for collective activities are financially appropriate in certain groups. I have picked up the bill for others in the past, when I was in a better position, and when I went back to uni, they picked up the bill for me for a while.

YABU. If friends didn’t talk about salaries I would have had no idea of what was possible.

It can be a bit braggy but then so are most things that people share

What, so that the poor people don't discover they are being exploited for crap pay? Because thats the effect this has.

No, I'm not talking about in an employment context, I'm talking about in a friendship group. The salaries in my friendship group probably range from about 30k to 200k so the disparity is huge. And it's not the people on low pay are being exploited - it's mainly due to career choice!

I think it's sensible to have open discussions with people you trust. It helps you understand if you're being well compensated for your time.

However, as a PP said "shit loads" is entirely subjective so not a useful phrase.

I recently had a friend tell me their DH was earning loads and not worrying about money, and it turned out he was on just above UK average salary, but I'd assumed she meant 6 figures.

Among close friends we'll discuss actually salaries. Non issue.

So you attend parties and bray to anyone who will listen about how much you earn?

No - everyone should talk about salaries a bit. It’s so important. I get annoyed that some of my friends don’t know what they are worth and are therefore underpaid.

Making discussing salaries taboo means it's easier for women to be paid less than men or certain roles to not be paid equally as it's all hush hush. The more openly it's talked about the better in my opinion. Maybe the way your friend delivered it "earning shit loads" was a bit crass but in general I don't think discussing salaries is crass in fact I think discussing money openly in general is better as you might think someone is well off and buying all the latest things and try to keep up with the jones when in fact the Jones are drowning in debt.

just my opinion

There's a huge difference between being able to have an open discussion about money and 'braying'. As I said, in lots of countries you can google what anybody earns, so there's no reason to try to keep it secret, not talk about it or consider it bad manners to even mention it.