Skinny shaming is so accepted

[chickenbhunalambbhunaprawnbhunamuchroomrice]

I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but skinny shaming is so wildly accepted and tolerated due to slim people being at an advantage due to their body size. As if it's acceptable, because they're slim. I've been body shamed my whole life for being slim. Right from when I was at junior school, to now at 30 years old.

I was relentlessly bullied at school and college. I am not an anomaly, I am a 5'5 size 6-8 female with a normal BMI. I don't need to be shamed about my body. The only people who have ever shamed or bullied me about my weight have been fat or obese people. And I'll be honest I'm trying my hardest not to judge them for their eating habits and size, but when it's a running theme I am starting to think that only fat people have a problem with slim people.

'Skinny privilege' shouldn't be an excuse to exempt bullying and shameful behaviour.
Stop trying to normalise skinny shaming just because it's the 'more desirable' image. It's not our fault that agenda has been pushed so much.

AIBU to think that skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming, and that slim people aren't to an advantage on this? I don't believe in the whole 'well at least you're skinny and being shamed.' Interested to know others thoughts.

The back handed comments seem to be acceptable because we're the 'desired weight.' Oh, well, that's okay then!

Honestly, we don't need comments saying we'll get cold. We all have coats and we all have jumpers. But you're / were probably conditioned to accept this and not think it's bullying as we aren't racing to the bottom, and it's meant in 'good / nice ways' - no comment on anyone's body is made in a nice way, unless you're commenting that they look nice or well. No one needs to comment on wait ever!

I was mortified at the PP below who said the work place staged an intervention just because her slim friend went to the toilet after her Christmas dinner. The fat people got to go to the loo without intervention. We're so conditioned to think it's acceptable and it's normal!

Also, glad you also haven't 'been blown away by the wind.' Maybe it's just us ☺️

Good, I'm glad it's not common with everyone who's slim.

People are utterly vile to fat women.

The things they say destroy fat people's self esteem.

A lot of fat women have eaten very unhealthily to try to lose weight to stop the nasty comments but it's never worked.

And a lot of fat people would love to swap bodies with the people who make these comments, and can never be glad of the shape they are in a society which tells them over and over how worthless they are.

This is why it's not an equal situation.

?? That's my experience? I've never tried shopping for larger clothes so I wouldn't know.

So how do you know the bigger sizes have been prioritised over the size 6 and 8s?

@TinyRowboats I'm not pretending that two unequal things are the same.

I whole heartedly believe they are the same. Skinny shaming and fat shaming are just as equally disgusting. Just because being skinny is 'desirable,' it doesn't make it carry any less weight. (No pun attended.)

People have teased me for my height, the way I look facially & the fact I had a privileged upbringing. I would never class that as shaming though.

Because my overweight sister has never had a problem ordering clothes for her frame.

When we were bridesmaid shopping, we were aiming for the same dress. She had no issues having one in store that fit her. I had to get them ordered in.

I regularly go to primark and I don't see many size 6s or XS, there's plenty of L, XL etc.
I've never shopped for large sizes as I said. But I have seen plenty of them.

That's speaking for yourself, though.

But I'm sorry you went through that.

I've seen plenty of comments on here from people who have lost weight saying they couldn't believe how much better, generally, they were treated when slim.

I've had the same and I think bullying somebody for the way their face looks is far worse than weight shaming, which is at least alterable.

Rich slim white and blonde. Nothing I say is valid it seems. Apparently I’m privileged. Though people know nothing else about me.

The only thing in that list that’s uncontrollably privileged is being white. I’ve seen the way some people treat my friends who are not white.

The rest is totally up to me. I could be fat or have different hair or be poor. But I don’t eat much, I dye my hair these days, I got 2 degrees and worked my way up from a working class background.

People can judge me if they like, and they do. And they do make comments.

I don’t care. And neither should you (easier said than done I know).

No one should be shamed for their body. It’s extremely rude in fact. We usually have no real insight into what makes people look the way they do.

I think you are being extremely disingenuous @chickenbhunalambbhunaprawnbhunamuchroomrice and there are plenty of examples throughout the thread which highlight exactly the ways in which the treatment of fat and thin women differ.

God...this is awful.
Who are these people though. You look entirely unremarkable IMO - a healthy sized woman of average height.

I thought Kate Moss celebrated being very thin she famously said, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."

I’m slim. Always have been. I exercise and eat well and plentifully and have always stayed the same shape. I kept exercising all through pregnancy: was shamed for that. I was slim fairly shortly after my two births, and was shamed for that. One apparent friend asked on front of everyone if I’d used a surrogate and faked a bump. It was fucking awful.

I think it’s just universal, if you’re a women there will always be something ‘wrong’ with you. Too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, feet too big, wrinkly skin, too many freckles, grey hair, hair too short, hair too curly, small tits, saggy tits, flabby skin, small lips…it never ends!

I once had a guy who critiqued the ‘lump’ on my wrist where it joins to my thumb, apparently it’s too big in proportion to my wrist and he found it ‘gross’ …I mean ffs, we just can’t win, there will always be something to improve.

These days I just focus on trying to be healthy and happy. I like how look, if someone else doesn’t like it then they don’t have to bloody look at me!

When you are very slim people think it's fine to comment on your weight, moreso than when you fat i find. I've never heard anyone say anything to someone overweight since i was at school. Everyone is afraid of offending them because they know being fat is a negative thing- but they feel free to comment and call slim women skinny etc.

Try Brandy Melville they only have one size, mind you my very skinny young teen fits most of their tops but she is smaller than a 6 in Primark. The trousers are too big for her though so they may fit a slightly bigger woman not girl.

I've been rail thin and I've been obese, I got a lot more shit from people when I was fat than when I was thin. I think I got a handful of "eat a burger" or "you're cold because you're a skeleton, eat something" or "are you unwell?" sort of comments over the course of years when I was thin, but way WAY more grief as a fat person. I think I was also a lot more self conscious when I was fat, so I suppose that contributed to me noticing more when people were being mean. I also find you get dismissed and ignored more as a fat person - which hurts in a different way to snide comments. People are nicer to me in general when I'm thin 🤷‍♀️

But I agree that no one should be bullied for their size no matter what it is.

High street shops often pay higher cost prices for XS, S and XXL. M and L and XL being the most common are not charged at premium prices. People at both ends of the scale should be joining forces for better choice (or just order stuff in)

Funnily enough when it comes to reductions, clearances and depot shops though the XS, S and XXL are in the highest number.

I'm skinny and very small and buying clothes is tricky

I used to work in a pretty much all female environment. A large percentage were overweight, some very. The topic of conversation was often slimming world/WW. I was very stressed and dropped to about 7 stone. A member of staff once grabbed my arm around the wrist and made a comment on how disgusting it was. I would never (only in my head) have dreamt of calling them all fat cunts and complaining about having to have all windows open in December despite me freezing my tits off.

being able to walk into a shop and buy clothes in my size immediately doesn’t make me fat phobic and while it is one element of a privilege it does not take away from the fact people openly comment on your appearance and then tell you that you have no right to complain about it. I often can’t find my size in shops and I don’t know if this is because they don’t stock as many or whether it’s the most popular size but I am often in the position of not being able to find my size easily.

Many people assume slim women are vain, arrogant, fat phobic, stupid, self obsessed, under eating, eating disordered, miserable, saggy, old looking, haggard

when you are fat not many people say these things to your face outright though. They may or may not be thinking them. Or they may think them about a group of people. But they do NOT often say it to your face. As a fat person I never once had a woman make a comment to me about my size looks or food. I have had it constantly since being slimmer though.

-do you even eat?
-you need to fatten up you will waste away
-do you have saggy boobs now?
-oh if you lose more weight your face will go all haggard
-I don’t want to lose weight as I like my face, your face has changed
-I don’t want to lose weight as I don’t want loose skin like yours

The only thing I’ve noticed that is different is that men stare at me more now in a creepy way. I am not sure how much I want to excitedly claim this as privilege. Perhaps they won’t laugh at me being sweaty in the gym when I was fatter but at least they didn’t stare at me in this creepy way. Men are nicer to me. Women are not. Women were much nicer to me when I was larger.

can we not acknowledge that for females there are downsides to everything we ever do or how we look and it’s not a competition. You would not want to swap with me on one of these days where I have cried on my DP about another haggard face comment and considered flying to Turkey for a facelift and fillers. I could make myself less fat but I can’t easily make myself look younger or choose not to lose weight off my face. Those are times when I have thought about gaining weight again to make other people happy and stop commenting. Don’t wish for what other people have. I lost weight for my own health reasons not to comply with society beauty standards - good job really as when I did lose it, I have been told I don’t look as good anyway!

'I've had the same and I think bullying somebody for the way their face looks is far worse than weight shaming, which is at least alterable.'

@SpudleyLass

I agree to a point, but bullying is bullying. All of it is worse. And I wasn't able to alter my weight when going through chemo. No matter how hard I tried.

Completely agree, I had this growing up all the time. I told my friend once when she kept telling me that I was too thin that I was going to start telling people who said that to me that I thought they were too fat, she never mentioned it again.