Skinny shaming is so accepted

[chickenbhunalambbhunaprawnbhunamuchroomrice]

I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but skinny shaming is so wildly accepted and tolerated due to slim people being at an advantage due to their body size. As if it's acceptable, because they're slim. I've been body shamed my whole life for being slim. Right from when I was at junior school, to now at 30 years old.

I was relentlessly bullied at school and college. I am not an anomaly, I am a 5'5 size 6-8 female with a normal BMI. I don't need to be shamed about my body. The only people who have ever shamed or bullied me about my weight have been fat or obese people. And I'll be honest I'm trying my hardest not to judge them for their eating habits and size, but when it's a running theme I am starting to think that only fat people have a problem with slim people.

'Skinny privilege' shouldn't be an excuse to exempt bullying and shameful behaviour.
Stop trying to normalise skinny shaming just because it's the 'more desirable' image. It's not our fault that agenda has been pushed so much.

AIBU to think that skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming, and that slim people aren't to an advantage on this? I don't believe in the whole 'well at least you're skinny and being shamed.' Interested to know others thoughts.

Wow op ..you are really coming across as very unpleasant all in all. Normal women... What on earth does that mean...

OP’s contempt for bodies even slightly unlike hers drips from every post.

I've never been super thin (size 8 at the very lowest in my youth) but I've had comments like "are you anorexic? You look anorexic". This was ridiculous, no way did I look anorexic. When I said I wasn't the reply was "well you would say that wouldn't you" and something about body dysmorphia! No point arguing really 😂

I do think very skinny women (not me) can get a lot of cruel comments - not being a "real woman", etc. Slim may be the social ideal but very skinny, in most circumstances, is not.

I quite clearly meant normal weight women..

I disagree. Many very, very slim people have experienced what you describe and there are lots of threads on MN about that.
I have not seen a lot of women who are neither over or under weight ie like yourself, an unremarkable shape/size reporting the levels of bullying you have received.
You don't understand it. Nor do I.

Of course bullying is never OK.

The 'you're anorexic' comment seems to be a common one. And it's so horrible to the people who are actually suffering from anorexia!

Thing is, my theory on it is that because most people are fat or obese, 'normal' or even 'slim' to them might be a bit warped. So a healthy size 8-10 or even 6 to them might be 'anorexic'.

But the people who shame us seem to think we want to starve ourselves and want to be thin, we just want to be healthy and happy in our bodies. Everybody deserves that! Just without the sneery comments. But the 'your anorexic' needs to stop as it's just as bad as going up to an overweight person and saying 'you fat whale.'

Before someone comes along and says 'they do say that to fat people,' - if they do, it's absolutely wrong. But so is calling us anorexic. Which gets said to us slim / normal weight people.

It all needs to stop.

Why you are writing numerous horrible posts is beyond me. You have contributed nothing to the thread, your lack of empathy and understanding of what others have been through has been rather small minded. I can only hope you are not a parent nor manager.

Why you are persisting as well as a few other posters in being purposely argumentative and unkind is unnecessary. Maybe you should step away from the thread.... though I imagine you and the others won't.

Op: I hope you are okay. MN can be rather unkind and toxic- I saw a "how old am I" thread and really makes you think about the people behind the keyboards, the vile and unkindness they spit... you can only feel sorry for them.

@CharlotteBog many people who have posted on here being a similar size / weight have reported the same.

I only showed photos of my body to show I am not underweight. Yet it still happens and has done most of my life. When I go to BBQ/ in the summer and I choose not to have bread with my burger I get a 'is that all you're having? You need a good burger.'
No - what I need is for people to leave me alone, I'm healthy, a good weight, and it's no one's business! Maybe because I'm most of the country are overweight or obese might have something to do with it.

OK, I shall indeed leave you alone [leaves thread]

I do hope you can find nicer people to spend your time with.

@ThisHangryPinkBalonz thank you ❤️ I totally agree! Selective empathy is paramount on this place. A few posters have cherry picked, twisted my words, and tell me that this hasn't happened and I'm just playing for a stealth boost.

Pretty much proving my point for my OP.

Thank you for your kind words, a bit of sense in a thread that's gone a bit bonkers!

💯 and it might explain why people might not be nice to her.. it makes you wonder what she says to them.

I was a very slim teenager and have been smaller than the OP for several years. The number of negative comments I received - precisely zero.

When I gained weight, the number of negative comments I received - oh dozens and snide passive aggressive remarks too.

I agree with this. I'm a size 6/8 with a mid point healthy BMI and I have never ever had anyone 'shame' me in the real sense of the word, as in try to make me ashamed that my body was 'wrong' or unattractive. I've had a very occasional dig about what I eat or don't eat, but never called names or told I look bad/anorexic/skeletal. It would be beyond ridiculous for one thing, because I objectively don't. I agree that extremely thin women with certain body shapes (lean/straight without much definition) or very slender limbs get called names. I have seen this happen to a friend, but after we'd left our teens, only ever by men. I do think the OP has been unusually unlucky to have so many women find her body unattractively thin and be unpleasant and rude enough to tell her so.

Have always had an issue with this. I'm 5'6 and have always been a 6-8 (currently a 10 since having kids) I have had soooo many comments on my weight and I eat like a horse. Been called an Ethiopian, told I would "blow away", told I have no boobs, the list goes on. I never tried to be slim just very active and fast metabolism. And yes it was always larger people who made these comments. I even walked In to work once and a comment about my weight was the first thing a girl said to me. Imagine If I walked in and said "hey insert name you look really fat today". Never understood why it's okay to skinny shame. And hate those memes "real women have curves, bones are for dogs".
Aren't we all real women. I also have curves just on a smaller scale. Rant over 😅🤣

The op has made some very thinly veiled comments which show her contempt for overweight women and also hinting that it's jealousy. I've already said, as have most people that making comments about other people's bodies is unacceptable but the op isn't pulling the wool over my eyes. The idea that fat women are bitter, jealous bullies screaming abuse at thin women is just really ridiculous.

@Comedycook well can you tell me why overweight people have felt the need to shame and bully me then, if it's not jealousy?

Compared to the things they've said and done to me, I think calling my bullies jealous doesn't really cut any ice, but again, with you, you seem to have selective empathy. I've never said 'all fat women are jealous of me' I am talking ABOUT THE ONES WHO HAVE SHAMED AND BULLY ME.

Perhaps you were one of them and you recognise me from this thread. Because you can't seem to grasp the concept of shaming that does exist in slimmer people. You would do if you had gone through what I have. So maybe you were one of the school bullies hey.

Perhaps it was for the same reasons people fat shame? Or insult people with unconventional features? Perhaps they genuinely don't like your particular body type and are cruel and made you the target of their jokes. Being larger has enjoyed a bit of a moment over the last decade, so maybe they were just nasty people insulting you for having what they though was the 'wrong' body, just like the fat shamers do. The thing is, as long as you're happy with your body, you need it to be water off a ducks back. It doesn't matter if people are jealous or genuinely don't like your looks, does it? The comments of nasty people are of no importance.

Sticks and stones etc? But we all know that cruel words can hurt, even if they shouldn't really.

Well what else can you do? People can be cruel to people who's appearance doesn't fit the mainstream ideal. It's unacceptable and if we are able to we can call it out, and certainly never join in or stand by while it's done to someone else. But I'm not sure what else you can do if you're the target. I doubt the people on the thread are bullying people who's appearance they don't like, and if they are, they won't stop because of the thread.

I do agree with you. But when I'm told I'm starving my newborn baby, or I have my clothes hidden in a changing room and I'm food there pretty much naked with 30 people staring at me, it cuts deep.

The point I've been trying to raise in this thread is that skinny shaming hurts just as much, even if you have the 'desired shape' as the comments make you feel otherwise. It's only skinny shaming that we're told to 'shake off' and not get to us. Any other type of appearance bullying whether it be fat shaming, acne, hair or anything else like that gets called out. But when I or others try to call out skinny shaming or compare it to other appearance bullying, I get accused of fat shaming myself.

Unborn baby*

. But when I or others try to call out skinny shaming or compare it to other appearance bullying, I get accused of fat shaming myself.

Other posters have articulated really eloquently what thin shaming has been like for them, and they've been listened to on the thread. But if you keep peppering in comments about fat people being jealous, fat people being to blame because of their bad choices, fat people just existing abroad on holiday as though that's somehow remarkable or something to be judged, fat people having warped perceptions of normal weight - yeah, you're making a lot of fat shaming comments and people will call it out.

There is a marked difference between posters who want to talk about thin shaming and posters who want to stick the boot into fat people and both are represented on the thread.

Yep.

Most people I know who exists at remarkable extremes are cool with it because you have to be.

Well, I think obese people have warped perception of what a normal weight is. Perhaps that's why I've been called anorexic so many times. It's a fair comment to make when the only ones making comments and shaming me are far or obese.
It's a fact that most of the country is fat or overweight, that's not fat shaming, that's fact. Being fat IS the norm, whether you like it or not. So it's fair to question if they've lost touch on what's normal and what really is 'thin' - even then no comment should be made.

And I've asked a couple of times now but the ones who have selected empathy don't seem to answer. Why are all these comments from fat people being said to me and others then, if it's not jealousy? I'll say it again. I am not saying that all fat people are jealous of me. I am saying THE ONES WHO BULLY AND SHAME ME. As I can't think of any other reason as to why they'd say all these things to me and bully me. But nooooo, I call bullies jealous and that makes ME the horrid person! Even though I've been told time and time again that I have the 'desired shape' on here.

You made such a point of 'skinny privilege' on this thread, but if you're fat and a bully you cant even have the person you're being nasty to call you a jealous. That's sooo much worse than the skinny shaming and bullying, the horror!

Okay, got it.
Get over yourself.

The weird thing is that you don't seem to identify with what you're being called. Like when people point out I'm really small, I actually am really small. I am also at peace with my height and therefore I just ignore it or laugh along.

But you say you're a perfectly normal sized person who's been given shit about it for 5/6 of your life, I just can't really understand how you could still care.

I don't know why they're shaming you any more than I know why you mentioned fat people going on holiday.

I think your idea about fat people's perceptions of reality isn't based on any evidence

I think if your disdain for fat people which is so palpable in your posts translates to real life then I can see that you would encounter hostility from them.

I find other posters' explanations and examples of thin shaming they've experienced much more compelling and convincing, particularly those who engage in the discussion rather than only acknowledging the existence of thin shaming - you have totally ignored and disregarded all posts which offer other narratives. Even those posters who have been thin shamed by people who aren't fat women - you aren't interested in their experiences either, or exploring any kind of difference there, you are only interested in hearing about thin women bullied by fat women.

You're also accusing people who disagree with you of being fat bullies and failing to notice where posters have been very sympathetic and interested in talking to other posters about their experiences of thin shaming. There is plenty of compassion and curiosity on the thread, but none of it comes from you. The selective empathy you attribute to others is most obvious in your own posts.