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AIBU?

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Original poster

... in asking if you have ever watched porn with DH/DP?

79 replies

Einhverdottir · 15/09/2024 17:12

I've done a NC for this post. My DP asked if I'd watch some with him.

I'm asking this question for women perspective. I know the title will attract a lot of the men readers, but not really interested in their replies.

YABU: I've never watched porn with DH/DP
YANBU: I've have watched porn with DH/DP

TLDR: In a new relationship with a nice man for 18 months. Exclusive. I really like him. Both divorced and no kids. Due to location, we had only gotten to see each other every 2nd weekend. But now we're both relocated to the same city. We both prefer to have our own places and spaces for now, no plans for anything more.

I've watch some porn in the past on my own, read erotica, etc. It is not something I need. I have the usual ethics concerns, but am sure I could find something. Also, working in cybersecurity area I'm somewhat paranoid about these things in general.

OP posts:
RufustheFactualReindeer · 15/09/2024 20:52

Yeah but I'm not like the rest of them on here

just you…good lord 😀

MNers aren’t a hive mind…you aren’t a special case

Deargodletitgo · 15/09/2024 20:53

BabyOwlinthePlumeria · 15/09/2024 20:47

If I can video myself and dh doing the deed and get a new kitchen, sorry for your eyes but here we are

Show quote history

There's a double glazing version too 🤣

bifurCAT · 15/09/2024 20:56

Given how a good 50% of women in here (without coercion) admitted they would sleep with a man if he gave them 250k (the figure was debated), is it any wonder why porn exists? Porn is simply the above, but haggling over price. This was a recent MN question/poll, if anyone's wondering.

I'm sure the argument will be "but there will be SOME who are forced into it, so how can you get turned on knowing there's a chance they might have been coerced?" True, but I liken this argument to saying how can you wear clothes knowing that some are made by kids on sweatshops?

Anyway, as for me, no, I wouldn't watch it with a partner.

BabyOwlinthePlumeria · 15/09/2024 20:57

Deargodletitgo · 15/09/2024 20:53

There's a double glazing version too 🤣

Show quote history

For my marble top

RufustheFactualReindeer · 15/09/2024 21:02

bifurCAT

50% of voters on the thread?

LostTheMarble · 15/09/2024 21:06

whatsinmypockets · 15/09/2024 20:17

The fact is even those who are willing to make these films have to disassociate from the idea of whoever is watching it, because if they had to face every person who asked permission to watch it, it would soon become evident how uncomfortable they would be to see exactly wants to get their rocks off to their films

Spoken with what authority, exactly?

You think if someone in the porn industry had meet every person watching their videos, they would give each individual one enthusiastic consent to do so? Really? There wouldn’t be any one person they would be repulsed by the idea of them getting sexual gratification from their videos?

MeAgainAndAgain · 15/09/2024 21:19

There might be a slight disconnect here between the phrases ‘the porn industry’ and ‘people who film themselves and their partner having sex and then post it online with their partners full consent’.

Vintagevixen · 15/09/2024 21:24

No such thing as ethical porn. We are a porn sick society and this tolerance of it is ruining our young people in particular.

I won't be participating in that.

Derwent01 · 15/09/2024 21:32

@Einhverdottir from a security point of view is it more safer viewing it through eg a Ps4 vs a pc ?

Derwent01 · 15/09/2024 21:33

Vintagevixen · 15/09/2024 21:24

No such thing as ethical porn. We are a porn sick society and this tolerance of it is ruining our young people in particular.

I won't be participating in that.

i presumed it was the ones made by women for women that was ethical ?

pinkstripeycat · 15/09/2024 21:53

Anyonefortennistoday · 15/09/2024 17:56

I have never watched porn at all. I wouldn't be in a relationship with anyone who watched porn. So this situation wouldn't arise.
I find it hard to imagine why any woman would want to sit there whilst her partner got aroused watching other females being exploited and abused and assaulted.

It’s not just men and women having sex you know. Some porn is just women and some is just men. They aren’t being abused. It’s their choice, their job. They aren’t drug addicted street sex workers

justleggingsandatee · 15/09/2024 21:59

No, I haven't.

Never say never....but I don't think it's something I'd ever do.

I don't like the idea of DH watching another woman while I'm there. Just doesn't do it for me.

KlaraSundown · 15/09/2024 23:40

They aren't drug addicted street sex workers

But I think the majority are, no matter how much it's dressed up and nicely lit. It was obvious to me anyway.

Pigeonqueen · 15/09/2024 23:44

Vintagevixen · 15/09/2024 21:24

No such thing as ethical porn. We are a porn sick society and this tolerance of it is ruining our young people in particular.

I won't be participating in that.

Agreed.

I used to watch porn with (now) exes when I was much younger, and naive. As a 40 something woman now, no thanks.

DesigningWoman · 15/09/2024 23:54

Because watching a woman you can’t guarantee hasn’t been coerced way beyond her comfort zone, and who is almost certainly exploited by a corrupt and exploitative industry, being violently double-penetrated while she cries is a real turn on?

BabyOwlinthePlumeria · 16/09/2024 00:17

DesigningWoman · 15/09/2024 23:54

Because watching a woman you can’t guarantee hasn’t been coerced way beyond her comfort zone, and who is almost certainly exploited by a corrupt and exploitative industry, being violently double-penetrated while she cries is a real turn on?

Why do you jump to that extreme? That's awful

MeAgainAndAgain · 16/09/2024 02:26

DesigningWoman · 15/09/2024 23:54

Because watching a woman you can’t guarantee hasn’t been coerced way beyond her comfort zone, and who is almost certainly exploited by a corrupt and exploitative industry, being violently double-penetrated while she cries is a real turn on?

You’re not watching porn then. You’re watching rape and abuse. The two things are not the same.

LifeExperience · 16/09/2024 02:29

Never, not once. Porn gives a very distorted picture of human relationships and degrades everyone involved, from those who create it to those who pollute their minds with it.

whatsinmypockets · 16/09/2024 08:07

LostTheMarble · 15/09/2024 21:06

You think if someone in the porn industry had meet every person watching their videos, they would give each individual one enthusiastic consent to do so? Really? There wouldn’t be any one person they would be repulsed by the idea of them getting sexual gratification from their videos?

Show quote history

And you think they don't know that already? 😂

bifurCAT · 16/09/2024 11:37

RufustheFactualReindeer · 15/09/2024 21:02

bifurCAT

50% of voters on the thread?

Yep, if anything it's more! Just on the first page it's about 12 yes to 6 no (which is reflected in the poll as 2:1).

Would you have sex-missionary with someone if offered money

Angran1 · 16/09/2024 18:21

she just doesnt realise he watches it...🤣🤣

notzen · 28/10/2024 13:54

I would but scared to search.

StressedQueen · 28/10/2024 14:16

No it's really odd

MeAgainAndAgain · 28/10/2024 14:46

notzen · 28/10/2024 13:54

I would but scared to search.

Scared? Why? Fear of coming across something unwanted or illegal?

Tink3rbell30 · 28/10/2024 14:50

No it's gross. Massive ick

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