Bouncer snapped my sons ID

Edingril · 15/09/2024 04:29

If your son is old enough to go to a club why is he old enough not to sort it himself?

Original poster

StrawberryTartella · 15/09/2024 04:49

Edingril · 15/09/2024 04:29

If your son is old enough to go to a club why is he old enough not to sort it himself?

One 18 year old lad against a group of bouncers and a club manager?

I'd say lack of experience, knowledge of his rights, unlikely to be taken seriously, likely to be dismissed and intimidation. All of which I don't have an issue with now due to life experience and wisdom of age.

OP posts:

DuckBee · 15/09/2024 04:50

Report their conduct to the sia?

ChampagneLassie · 15/09/2024 04:52

StrawberryTartella · 15/09/2024 04:49

One 18 year old lad against a group of bouncers and a club manager?

I'd say lack of experience, knowledge of his rights, unlikely to be taken seriously, likely to be dismissed and intimidation. All of which I don't have an issue with now due to life experience and wisdom of age.

Edited

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I understand but I think leaving him to sort out himself is how you learn. TBH if I were either party (you or son) I’d probably just get new ID and email club to complain, I’d need a lot of time on my hands to do anything more

TheSilentSister · 15/09/2024 05:04

Definitely contact the club and complain and at least get them to cover the cost of a replacement. He has witnesses.
Just because he's 18 doesn't mean he knows what to do so of course you help him.

Workhardcryharder · 15/09/2024 05:08

Edingril · 15/09/2024 04:29

If your son is old enough to go to a club why is he old enough not to sort it himself?

Huh? Were you all knowing at 18 or did you require some guidance from your parents?

OP isn’t even sure on what to do, let alone someone who is barely an adult

ru53 · 15/09/2024 05:19

Guidance is different from doing it all for him. How will he learn? I’d suggest to him the he emails the club himself to report and say he has witnesses and will report to the police if nothing is done and see what they say.

Cherry8809 · 15/09/2024 05:30

“Reckless criminal damage”?
Bit harsh.

Female “bouncer”/CP speaking from experience: I did the doors for years and have never seen a coworker snap someone’s ID to “show off”. Like, ever.

I have, however, seen them bend and flex ID cards to see holograms and markings under the lights, and it’s definitely possible he could have bent it too hard.

I wouldn’t assume malice, or anything worthy of reporting to police/SIA.

Kastri · 15/09/2024 05:30

My son dropped his keys in a club.Once he was home,a friend messaged him she had handed them in at the bar.
Next day I sent him down to get them,he came back upset the manager would not even look,very rudely dismissed him.
I went down and he was not rude but said no keys handed in.I said ok I will get police to collect CCTV as someone working here has kept our house keys.
He immediately got up and collected them from a box in his office.
Sometimes mums do have to help and nothing wrong with that!

DrinkElephants · 15/09/2024 05:48

Edingril · 15/09/2024 04:29

If your son is old enough to go to a club why is he old enough not to sort it himself?

this

RawBloomers · 15/09/2024 06:26

What do you mean by “Reckless criminal damage”? What exactly happened?

itsmabeline · 15/09/2024 06:28

Edingril · 15/09/2024 04:29

If your son is old enough to go to a club why is he old enough not to sort it himself?

Do you not help adults who need help?
Is Mumsnet only for under 18s in need of guidance until the day they turn 18 and suddenly know what to do in every situation?

WinterMorn · 15/09/2024 06:42

Edingril · 15/09/2024 04:29

If your son is old enough to go to a club why is he old enough not to sort it himself?

Agreed. Also, given you weren’t there, isn’t it a bit off for you to go steamrollering in with only one side of the story?

DragonGypsyDoris · 15/09/2024 06:58

StrawberryTartella · 15/09/2024 04:27

Unprovoked, a bouncer tonight snapped my sons ID at a club. Other bouncers apologised saying it was his first night but I don't know if I believe that. Son and friends are back at hotel now and I'm picking them up tomorrow. Do I report as reckless criminal damage or contact the club to cover the cost of replacing? Apparently his mates took bouncers details, hopefully badge no. etc. If first night and genuine mistake then could give benefit of the doubt but I worry it was done to show off.

Definitely report to the police as reckless criminal damage. Call 999 now, because the police are sitting around waiting for your call.

Brandnewskytohangyourstarsupon · 15/09/2024 07:03

Meh, shit happens.
Can he not just order another and crack on?
Not exactly crime of the century.
Unfortunately there are arseholes out there, they are everywhere … that’s life.

AllThePotatoesAreSinging · 15/09/2024 07:07

Cherry8809 · 15/09/2024 05:30

“Reckless criminal damage”?
Bit harsh.

Female “bouncer”/CP speaking from experience: I did the doors for years and have never seen a coworker snap someone’s ID to “show off”. Like, ever.

I have, however, seen them bend and flex ID cards to see holograms and markings under the lights, and it’s definitely possible he could have bent it too hard.

I wouldn’t assume malice, or anything worthy of reporting to police/SIA.

I was also a female bouncer for 4 years, and I’ve seen, and continue to see, all sorts of aggressive behaviour from male bouncers showing off. Virtually every time I worked. Virtually every time I go out.

bergamotorange · 15/09/2024 07:12

Edingril · 15/09/2024 04:29

If your son is old enough to go to a club why is he old enough not to sort it himself?

In all human cultures it is pretty standard for family members to help each other out. This practice stretches back for millennia, just the problems change.

Families are pretty great, it's nice to have family support.

Garlicnaan · 15/09/2024 07:19

StrawberryTartella · 15/09/2024 04:49

One 18 year old lad against a group of bouncers and a club manager?

I'd say lack of experience, knowledge of his rights, unlikely to be taken seriously, likely to be dismissed and intimidation. All of which I don't have an issue with now due to life experience and wisdom of age.

Edited

Show quote history

I'd still support your son to make the complaint himself.

Be aware that bouncers can remember faces and hold grudges.

I turned down a bouncer who propositioned me and groped me, and when he was on the door of another venue he refused to let me in despite me having ID etc.

HotCrossBunplease · 15/09/2024 07:22

How much does a new ID cost? If £25 or less I’d just leave it and chalk up as one of those unfortunate things in life.

Did the bouncer think his ID was fake? or did he just take against your son for some reason?

Jc2001 · 15/09/2024 07:23

Cherry8809 · 15/09/2024 05:30

“Reckless criminal damage”?
Bit harsh.

Female “bouncer”/CP speaking from experience: I did the doors for years and have never seen a coworker snap someone’s ID to “show off”. Like, ever.

I have, however, seen them bend and flex ID cards to see holograms and markings under the lights, and it’s definitely possible he could have bent it too hard.

I wouldn’t assume malice, or anything worthy of reporting to police/SIA.

Well if the club is willing to cover the cost of a new ID the it should make it right. If they get awkward about that then I would complain.

Changingplace · 15/09/2024 07:26

Why did your son need to tell you about this at 4am? It’s hardly the crime of the century, and in all honesty I bet there’s more to this story.

If he wants to complain let him but I honestly wouldn’t get involved or give it much more thought, I don’t think it’s a huge big deal, if your son and his friends are going to start going to clubs they need to be able to deal with this kind of stuff themselves.

Cromwell1905 · 15/09/2024 07:29

RawBloomers · 15/09/2024 06:26

What do you mean by “Reckless criminal damage”? What exactly happened?

She means massive overreaction, i question the intelligence of anyone who thinks that firstly this is worthy of police time and secondly that they will do anything. I have bent cards on the door to check the print and holograms but never snapped one. It’s happened get new ID don’t waste any energy and move on. I am assuming that the ID replacement costs is only a few quid. Like others have said if your son is not old enough to deal with this then he is not old enough to go to a club and as for contacting you int the middle of the night to tell you this I think you need to have a few words with him

xyz111 · 15/09/2024 07:30

Unprovoked? So DS showed his ID and bouncer just decided to snap it for the sake of it? Hmmmmm

LondonFox · 15/09/2024 07:30

Cherry8809 · 15/09/2024 05:30

“Reckless criminal damage”?
Bit harsh.

Female “bouncer”/CP speaking from experience: I did the doors for years and have never seen a coworker snap someone’s ID to “show off”. Like, ever.

I have, however, seen them bend and flex ID cards to see holograms and markings under the lights, and it’s definitely possible he could have bent it too hard.

I wouldn’t assume malice, or anything worthy of reporting to police/SIA.

Maybe as ex bouncer you are not the most objective on this tho.

AnImaginaryCat · 15/09/2024 07:31

Edingril · 15/09/2024 04:29

If your son is old enough to go to a club why is he old enough not to sort it himself?

If people need it clarifying this ^ means in response to "Do I report as reckless criminal damage or contact the club to cover the cost of replacing?"

No, you don't your son should. You can encourage, advise and help him every step of the way (most likely will need to as he's 18) but he needs to do it himself.