Boyfriend won't let me have alcohol?

[WitchyPoos]

So story is, me and my boyfriend sometimes work opposite shifts and don't see each other some days at home like passing ships. I do a ten hour shift and have a few gins when home and he's at work he doesn't like it. If I'm on a day off and go out to see a friend in the pub he doesn't like it. Or have a few in the evening on a day off he doesn't like it. Youd think I was 16. I'm 35 🤦🏻‍♀️. I don't harm anyone I'm in my own home and in my own time but it makes me feel that way. I don't drink and ignore normal life he thinks i do. Who is BU in this situation cos I think could be me but why

Thing is, he's not worried about you. He just doesn't want you to drink without him being there. Why, who knows? But no one gets to tell another person what they can and can't do.

@WitchyPoos ... thanks for replying to my comment.

I notice a lot of posters also would love to bang on with the 'in the event of emergency who would drive to A&E?' scenario. For posters who missed it, OP does not drive. Her child is also 16, not a toddler.

There are women in the world who can hold drink and do manage 3 doubles spread out over the evening. A G&T is a long drink and it is frankly insulting to suggest that ALL women can't handle alcohol without descending into tired tropes.

It was clear from OPs very first post that the issue is about control. It could be gin, it could be crisps, it could be going out without permission. The bloke is an entitled arsehole which is very clear from OPs later posts.

Get rid of him. Awful man.

🤷‍♀️

Yes, this!!

No it’s not. It’s 5.4 units if she correctly measures a shot, which she has 1-2 times a week. Units per week is 14, so it’s perfectly acceptable.

Well that’s the clincher post, right there. Get rid @WitchyPoos you deserve better.

I came here to say this!

Why does it matter how old her son is, is there a certain age that our kids need to get to before we can have a drink?

It's impossible for any of us to be able to say who is right or wrong as you could be an alcoholic in denial or he could be controlling only you 2 know this. All I will say is the only time people have had issues with my drinking is when iv had a problem but at the time I was blind to it. Is he controlling in any aspects of your life or just this

WTF is going on here? I see threads about shopping that include 2-3 bottles of wine every week for 2 adults, I see celebration of prosecco on a regular basis, I see people talking about a bottle of wine between 2 at dinner and all of these are talked about as being "normal".

Then a woman who has a 16 year old son (who isn't there every evening) has a couple of drinks once or twice a week and she suddenly has a problem with alcohol???

I very rarely drink any more, maybe a single cider once a year if I go out for a meal and a double whiskey on Christmas day most years, but that's because I have to be careful mixing alcohol with my pain meds. But I would drink the OPs weekly amount on a Friday night every 2-3 weeks when I was working in London then get myself home on public transport & a long walk no problem, and I was the one who drank the least out of everyone I worked with at multiple jobs.

OP please ignore those people who are either failing to read your posts properly, or are intentionally misinterpreting them to have a go.

A couple of drinks once or twice a week is more normal than not IMO, whereas 4 cans after every single night shift definitely implies a dependency on alcohol.

Typical MN! Op is in a relationship with a controlling fuckwit and the pearl clutchers focus on her having a couple of gins?? Op, I’d be bathing in gin if I had to put up with such a tosser. Get rid. And enjoy your gin in peace.

^^ this OP.

This is weird. OP, sometimes people do not reslise how much they drink or how out of it they are when they drink. Are you sure you do not get smashed?
Because in that case, he has a reason to be concerned.
If you do not, then it is time for the boot indeed. He is projecting his own shit to you and whoever can get busy with that?! Better alone and luggage free.

Honestly can’t believe anyone really thinks the op is drinking a lot. I understand the people posting don’t drink and have a real fear of alcohol. But if you’re in any way based in reality you know it’s not a lot and absolutely fine.

so why the hysteria?

"As usual, a post where a woman with a child talks about having a drink at home has brought the pearly clutching lunatics out. Once your uterus has been activated you can’t even smell alcohol for 18 years so you can be on alert for these apparently regular trips to a&e at high speed."

God yes. I have never ever, throughout three children, met another mum who carries on about alcohol the way people do on here. Even the snotty, boring ones. As far as I can tell, adult women who have children commonly enjoy a drink in their own house without fear of judgement.

As for your boyfriend...get outta here!
Tolerate this and who knows what he'll decide you're not allowed to do next?

"As usual, a post where a woman with a child talks about having a drink at home has brought the pearly clutching lunatics out. Once your uterus has been activated you can’t even smell alcohol for 18 years so you can be on alert for these apparently regular trips to a&e at high speed."

this is sooooooooooo accurate!!

Thank you for saying what everyone should be saying.

Bloody pearl clutchers indeed.

Ignore people telling you to ignore other people, OP.

I think the problem might be the shifts - I don’t think you drink too much and it is up to you what you do. But it sounds like you are on different schedules, when you are having a drink and relaxing he is at work and vide versa

Drinking at home alone is alcoholism

He's a controlling, abusive, hypocritical asshat and you deserve better, OP.

Bin him off.

Get a grip. People who are single should never enjoy a glass of wine with dinner?

Drinking through need is alcoholism . Drinking alone hopefully brings no pressure to exceed one’s limits.

Ofc I'm sure I don't get smashed. Jeez people on this thread act like I'm some raging alcoholic which I think I'm not.

Why would I be in denial to a load of strangers on the internet? I've said multiple times it's 2-3 doubles once a week sometimes twice. And my son is 16 nearly 17. I don't like getting shitfaced as I don't like it I just like a few then bed.

Why would I ask for advice if I'm in denial?

Also made it for my son to be nearly 17 without any sudden A&E trips middle of the night. And I don't drive so be a taxi anyway. What an odd concept that I need to be able to drive when I can't anyway 😂

Not being able to stop drinking or needing alcohol to function is alcoholism. Drinking every night is likely to be alcoholism.

@WitchyPoos Get rid of the controlling abusive bastard and enjoy your gin in peace. Nothing wrong with a couple of drinks at home when you're not working the next day even if was every Friday and most Tuesdays!