Children wearing tails?

[ShepherdMoons]

Dd's friend at drama club has recently started wearing a tail.She sometimes wears ears.It looks quite cute but I also find it a bit odd (they are 11).Dd hasn't asked to wear a tail (yet) but wondering if this might be her next question.I appreciate there's a bit of a trend for this at the moment and seems relatively harmless but I do find it odd.AIBU?

This is exactly what I was going to post.

Just because they have never heard of it, it doesn't exist. It's an urban myth!!

Some really poor parenting going on here.

Ithink people are getting a bit mixed up.

Sure, some little;e kids have always played at being animals, they come up with it themselves. Or characters from cartoons like Lion King.

The therian thing though seems to come right from the adult scene which is very much about some of the alternate identities, and is also very often tied up in alternate sexual identities. It is desperate to legitimize itself by drawing in young people.

There is also some relation to certain kinds of anime which seems to be filled with creepy men - this is largely I expect related to some of the really nasty school girl sexual fetishes found within some anime.

And honestly, the who comic con culture and cosplay culture seems to be rife with a lot of it. Not that everyone is into it, but I think there is some very unhealthy alternate identity activity going on with a lot of people at these events now.

I was big into RPGs when I was young and loved the old school comic cons, but I find they've become a little worrying, There were always plenty of nerdy guys (mostly nerdy guys) but now so many seems to be drawn into some very odd directions. I suppose it's the internet.

???

Wtf?
40 years ago, she'd be seeing a psychiatrist, just as those adults who identified as Jesus did
Anyone who encourages this shit in kids is enabling future problems

I'm agreeing with you. I was answering the other poster's question and am saying that it's only linked in that it's a thing that children like, in the same way as lollipops. There is nothing offensive about it.

It doesn't matter if you only know kids who would find it embarrassing, or if you personally find it appropriate.

That doesn't mean it's linked to furries or anything sexual or worrying.

It's an 11 year old kid wearing cat ears at drama club. What do you think it means?

There's a difference between dressing up for a couple of hourse, but identifying as a cat/dragon/aardvark is not normal. It's bad enough that the world is full of kids wearing else costumes all day.
Nothing is a 'treat' anymore. It's pampering to every whim

You don't think there's any harm that your child is aware of, and also role playing an adult sexual fetish? How did she even become aware of it?

My son is only 5 so I don't know much about what the "things" are for tweens on the whole, but I do see a few kids about 10-13 (maybe) around town and at the park wearing tails or ears etc. Usually just one or two in a group of half a dozen, the rest who aren't wearing them.

I'm guessing it's probably a very mixed bag. You'll get kids who just wear a tail at weekends because they think it's funny or cute or whatever, then you'll get others wanting to do it at school and taking it further. Some might do it out of a genuine feeling that it makes them feel more comfortable, which yes is a bit weird but I'm not gonna judge, kids are weird sometimes. Others will be doing it for a reaction, a way to push the envelope. Either way that's in the realm of normal kid stuff, but shouldn't be allowed to disrupt lessons etc.

As for the fetish thing... It's a very rocky ground I think. Because I'm sure most of these kids will be doing it innocently, even ones wanting a reaction, it won't be a fetish/sexual thing, it'll be a "look how different I am" thing...

BUT there are definitely communities of adults who are into the furry scene on a whole other level and parents really need to ensure they're being vigilant here. If they're going online to chat to people about it or research costume ideas and all of that, there's a real chance of them falling on something they shouldn't or getting sucked in to something very toxic. Especially if they're using the furry identity to feel more secure because in "real life" they are struggling. It makes them very vulnerable and sadly there are those out there who would prey on that.

So professionals sit in a Child in Need (safeguarding) related meeting say of a 13 year old . And if said teenage girl is dressing and performing as a cat and displaying age inappropriate behaviour in a secondary school, nobody addresses this? No exploring the likelihood relating to her peers / adults in school in role as a teenage girl might go some way to improve her social isolation / anxiety /peer problems /bullying / inappropriate adult /child relationships etc?

And these discussions aren't being had in professional meetings about a child with problems because professionals worry they'd be charged with "ignoring the voice of the child"?

It does go some way to explain why in certain schools there are unbelievably issues about this but fgs, surely it must be possible to explore why a teenager is stuck role playing behaviour that is more suited to a primary child?

Not meaning to be critical but it's hard to see the professionals behaviour in ignoring this as professional neglect ?

@MrsOvertonsWindow - I do not know of any secondary school where this would be allowed. Action would be taken in the first instance. There would be no referral to "councillors" (sic), but robust measures put in place, involving parents and possible referral to outside agencies.

So George Galloway was ahead of the trend.

The world has gone mad.

I saw a grown woman wearing a tail last week. Not fancy dress, just shorts and a tail whilst doing her shopping in Sainsbury's. Didn't like it at all. It made me look at her arse!

I understand. I've also taught for much of my working life. Sadly there are a number of parents on this thread attesting to their own daughters doing this (at secondary level) along with parents with children having to put up with kids in their schools displaying this age inappropriate behaviour.

I'm certain this is a minority of schools and that where it's happening it's a toxic combination of parents scared to say no to their children and a school seeing this as part of their "being kind and accept everything" perspective with all the adults being unwilling to take the firm "No, inappropriate for school. Restrict this to drama and outside school".

I really wish this was an urban myth but sadly there's too much evidence that it is happening in a minority of schools. Teenagers deserve much better "boundary enforcement" from the adults around them.

All behaviour has meaning in context. If you think about any time in your life you have been unreasonable then there will be a context. There will be reasons. You would still have been accountable for your behaviour of course. Anything harmful or illegal would need intervention. Children, even more so than adults, often show distress through behaviour.

With a child displaying difficult to manage behaviour, the first question should always be ‘why?’. You can still manage the behaviour - I like the example above of ‘I am sorry but cats aren’t allowed to …’ or ‘I am sorry I don’t understand meowing, only English’. Natural consequences. At the same time there needs to be an assessment by the adults, of what isn’t working and what would help.

This doesn’t always happen smoothly with multi agency work but ideally the different professionals explore that question of ‘why?’ Together (if it’s a significant enduring problem rather than a quickly resolved blip) and then plan intervention.

If the answer to the question is ‘they are struggling academically and avoiding work’ then teachers or an Educational Psychologist can help sort that reducing the need for the avoidance behaviour. If it looks like grooming, exploitation or parental neglect the Social Worker will coordinate. If it’s about body dysmorphia then CAMHS services would get involved. If it’s that they are a younger developmental stage then the school would manage the behaviour accordingly. If it’s behaviour to get a reaction or to push buttons - the question ‘why?’ needs to be asked again.

So in this case, my guess would be that underlying problems have been identified that require a multi agency approach. It’s not a flash in the pan.

You know as an adult you look back with your school friends and cringe at your hair / outfits - their cringe will be next level

I go to lots of comic cons and I've definitely noticed an increase in furries and similar things now. Kind of a shame really. Comic cons generally used to be quite a welcoming diverse place due to the demographic overall being high levels of autism and other special needs of varying levels. No one would think anyone weird for being obsessed with a tv show or wanting to dress up for fun. It was nice to be able to talk loads about superheroes without the other person thinking you're nuts! Finding "my people" was so nice. But it's definitely changing now.
I'm not entirely sure why furries overlap with comic cons really. Other than the fact people dress up. But most cosplayers at comic cons were tv/ film/comic book related only in the past. Since anime has got so big that and the furries have increased in rapid numbers. I don't go to MCM anymore as it's pretty much only anime based these days.
You can still get the old school nerdy guys at comic cons. But they're mainly in the autograph queues or panels. Those in the cosplay areas are slowly being taken over by anime and furries.

@TheaBrandt ,

I don’t think children experimenting is the point. They always have and always will and that is good and right.

What is different in this generation is adults being confused about whether to validate it or not.

If a child comes back to school with purple hair after the summer, a school has no problem telling them to dye it back and that they can’t return until they have. If most teens tried to go out in a bra and and a skirt which showed half their bum, their parents generally have no problem telling them to go and change. Neither will be accepted as a part of their innate personality.

The issue here is with the whole TRA agenda and that people should be accepted as who they say they are, not who they actually are.

And that must be terribly confusing for a child/teen! Playing at being cats with a mate is harmless when parents tell them ‘cat time over now, go and put on normal clothes for dinner’. It becomes worrying when the parent accepts miaows for answers and feeds them from a cat bowl on the floor.

In your experience does that always have sexual undertones or is it more that anime is growing in popularity (some of it being porn but most of it not in my very limited understanding)? It’s not my world so great to have your insight.

I don't know really to be honest as I don't talk to those involved in the anime or furries. They very much keep to themselves at events. I do autographs/ photos/ panels with actors and have a look round the stalls. The anime cosplayers tend to just congregate in groups and take photos and talk from what I can see. But there is a mix of younger teens and adults together. So if there is anything sexual that won't be a great mix.

We have one of those too. The kids all laugh at her and call her wolf girl. What a werido and her mum is an idiot for encouraging it.

Crikey - I came here to say don't be ridiculous it's a drama club let the kids express herself , but didn't realise there was a whole cat fetish thing ?!

I think uniform policy is another good ‘natural’ consequence. There is a uniform policy and that should be followed. If it still doesn’t result in change then there is clearly something else going on and the question is what and why. The answers to those questions are broad.

I hadn't heard anything about it until this thread but is what people describing on here just about wearing cat ears in a drama club or is the identifying a whole more sinister thing- what do you think?

I think there are examples of both. It’s shades of grey I think.