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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children wearing tails?

389 replies

ShepherdMoons · 12/09/2024 12:44

Dd's friend at drama club has recently started wearing a tail.She sometimes wears ears.It looks quite cute but I also find it a bit odd (they are 11).Dd hasn't asked to wear a tail (yet) but wondering if this might be her next question.I appreciate there's a bit of a trend for this at the moment and seems relatively harmless but I do find it odd.AIBU?

OP posts:
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Stompythedinosaur · 12/09/2024 20:30

Honestly, it's a kid dressing up. Unless there's a reason to suspect an adult is grooming them in some way, I wouldn't stress about it. It's healthy for dc to engage in play activities far later than many kids do.

TorturedParentsDepartment · 12/09/2024 20:38

DD2 (11) is rather fond of cat ear headbands and may occasionally try to miaow while wearing them. She's also got a range of Pikachu hats and will try to get away with speaking like Pikachu as well.

Fine, she likes wearing things she thinks are cute - and she's quite young natured but secure in what she likes (she skipped the unicorn phase when younger based on the logic that "dinosaurs are cooler and could eat unicorns") - but we're very clear that you're just wearing something cute and you communicate with words and remain a bloody human.

I have seen one full-blown adolescent furry in full fursuit at a college. I was more shocked that they must have been melting hot in there on a summer's day than anything else to be fair.

Mybeltsblue · 12/09/2024 21:00

SpringboksSocks · 12/09/2024 13:46

Sadly it’s not misinformation. I’m a child psychologist and this furry/therian stuff comes up sometimes in the clinic. It’s a big issue in lots of secondary schools and is a lot more than play/fashion.

Agreed. Not misinformation. There's one as my ds secondary school too. Identifies as a cat, disrupting lessons meowing on all fours. I wish I was joking.

KateDelRick · 12/09/2024 21:01

Mybeltsblue · 12/09/2024 21:00

Agreed. Not misinformation. There's one as my ds secondary school too. Identifies as a cat, disrupting lessons meowing on all fours. I wish I was joking.

They've surely been suspended for persistently disruptive behaviour? That cannot be allowed in any school.

DoloresHargreeves · 12/09/2024 21:03

Have any of you heard of the TV show Sweet Tooth? Since apparently the only conceivable place a child might pick up the idea of dressing up like an animal is male fetish chatrooms......

Mybeltsblue · 12/09/2024 21:05

KateDelRick · 12/09/2024 21:01

They've surely been suspended for persistently disruptive behaviour? That cannot be allowed in any school.

Sadly not. It's treated as a mental health/ "identity"issue and so she's taken out to see councillors etc but she isn't reprimanded/suspended. I think the school is scared to be seen as discriminatory.

FluentSloth · 12/09/2024 21:07

This reply has been deleted

This was the work of a previously banned poster.

KateDelRick · 12/09/2024 21:09

Mybeltsblue · 12/09/2024 21:05

Sadly not. It's treated as a mental health/ "identity"issue and so she's taken out to see councillors etc but she isn't reprimanded/suspended. I think the school is scared to be seen as discriminatory.

No, I think you'll find it's not acceptable in any school. Also, what "councillors" (sic)?
That's not how things work, really.

Mybeltsblue · 12/09/2024 21:14

KateDelRick · 12/09/2024 21:09

No, I think you'll find it's not acceptable in any school. Also, what "councillors" (sic)?
That's not how things work, really.

Don't know why you're disagreeing with me. This has happened in my ds school. Instead of telling the child off, it is treated as a mental health issue and they are seen by the school mental health counsellor and returned to class. It is not treated as bad behaviour. Normal day is meowing in response to questions, wearing cat ears. Bad day is on all fours hissing. No idea why you won't accept this.

KateDelRick · 12/09/2024 21:19

no idea why you won't accept this
Because I've been a secondary school teacher for many years. I know how things work.
Because this story would be all over the Daily Mail.

Helleofabore · 12/09/2024 21:22

ALovelyCupOfNameChange · 12/09/2024 16:05

I saw some in ikea as well!!! And there was a subservient with them.

is this a tik tok thing? This has to be a tik tok thing

Not sure it is a tik tok thing. Could be.

I do remember seeing something about in Edinburgh a few years ago, a couple was out ‘walking’. One was the mistress and one was the dog.

Then there are the pictures of dogs at Pride where children are patting them. And parents looking on laughing. It is really disturbing behaviour. It is about lowering sexual boundaries when these adults are out in public with their kink gear on and really lowering children’s boundaries when parents allow children to ‘pat’ these dogs. Nearly always male people who do this in public.

The entire idea is the thrill of transgressing boundaries and society is allowing it to happen in public.

Obviously though, this is not the motivation for this young children.

ASimpleLampoon · 12/09/2024 21:28

No different to wearing headbands with a unicorn horn on really? ( I personally thought they looked like dildos but would never say that out loud! 😅😅😅😅)

Mirren22 · 12/09/2024 22:50

Probably watching a bit too much of the Aristocats. It's a good movie. I can see how some would watch it and think this is a life for me, strolling the Parisian alleyways, sniffing the trash for some leftover fish from Le Petite Blanc, curling up in linens from Marseille, nibbling on Gruyère maybe a touch of caviar and a glass of fine Chablis, but no I don't imagine the earlier posters Uni flatmate entertained any of those things, I'll just shit in a litter tray

Completelyneutralname · 12/09/2024 23:07

Helleofabore · 12/09/2024 21:22

Not sure it is a tik tok thing. Could be.

I do remember seeing something about in Edinburgh a few years ago, a couple was out ‘walking’. One was the mistress and one was the dog.

Then there are the pictures of dogs at Pride where children are patting them. And parents looking on laughing. It is really disturbing behaviour. It is about lowering sexual boundaries when these adults are out in public with their kink gear on and really lowering children’s boundaries when parents allow children to ‘pat’ these dogs. Nearly always male people who do this in public.

The entire idea is the thrill of transgressing boundaries and society is allowing it to happen in public.

Obviously though, this is not the motivation for this young children.

It’s when I hear things line that im
glad I live in the sticks.

TheaBrandt · 12/09/2024 23:25

Because there are no teen issues whatsoever in the country side ?!

stonedaisy · 12/09/2024 23:30

My friends daughter is into this.. there's also a thing called quading i think where you run about on your hands and feet (at a park or a beach for example)
I think it's maybe about getting into the mindset of being an animal. Kids that just live for animals tend to be interested in the trend. Thats my interpretation anyway pretty harmless if a little immature

Completelyneutralname · 12/09/2024 23:35

TheaBrandt · 12/09/2024 23:25

Because there are no teen issues whatsoever in the country side ?!

Huh? I didn’t say that. We certainly don’t have mistresses leading adults dressed as dogs with children patting them! I do think it must be hard for people in the LBGTQ community here though as very little in terms of Pride type activity. I never see gay couples walking hand in hand or kissing, and it’s a very non diverse area. Very white. A bit behind the times. It will hopefully change but for now I’ll be pleased I’m not faced with men pretending to be dogs in public!

notacooldad · 12/09/2024 23:40

Agreed. Not misinformation. There's one as my ds secondary school too. Identifies as a cat, disrupting lessons meowing on all fours. I wish I was joking.

They've surely been suspended for persistently disruptive behaviour? That cannot be allowed in any school.

I wish I could say the kids I deal with had been suspended but no! Is all about their 'mental health ' and fear of discrimination that allow these kids to contine and their spineless parents just shugging their shoulders and say ' well what can you do?'
Personally I have loads of ideas about what they could do but professional boundaries means my mouth stays shut at CIN meetings otherwise I would be disciplined for not supporting 'the voice of the child," and their ' wishes and feelings' that ride over any parental concern (allegedly)

I'm sick of this bullshit if in case you can't tell!

notacooldad · 12/09/2024 23:43

My friends daughter is into this.. there's also a thing called quading i think where you run about on your hands and feet (at a park or a beach for example)
I think it's maybe about getting into the mindset of being an animal. Kids that just live for animals tend to be interested in the trend. Thats my interpretation anyway pretty harmless if a little immature*
If any one quading to me while I sat on a bench I certainly would not be happy ,impressed or amused.

stonedaisy · 12/09/2024 23:49

notacooldad · 12/09/2024 23:43

My friends daughter is into this.. there's also a thing called quading i think where you run about on your hands and feet (at a park or a beach for example)
I think it's maybe about getting into the mindset of being an animal. Kids that just live for animals tend to be interested in the trend. Thats my interpretation anyway pretty harmless if a little immature*
If any one quading to me while I sat on a bench I certainly would not be happy ,impressed or amused.

I don't think any pre teens are going to 'do it to you' you're quite safe

Amybelle88 · 12/09/2024 23:58

Flat out no. Sorry.

notacooldad · 12/09/2024 23:59

@stonedaisy
I don't think any pre teens are going to 'do it to you' you're quite safe
I agree, it's just the annoying ones that I get through my job that insist on meowing at me!

I really can't be arsed with it and as I said in an earlier post it soon stops when they realise they are going to miss out ( i'm sorry ( young person) cats aren't allowed in the cinema, ,you are going to have to stay behind tonight)

Josephine86 · 13/09/2024 00:07

Sorry to derail but does this have anything to do with the fact that I saw a young women in her early twenties stroking her pet, erm, stuffed cat in its pushchair the other day? She was on the bus in front of me, talking to a friend. I know it’s impossible to tell but she seemed of sound mind.

glittercunt · 13/09/2024 00:13

It hasn't 'now' become a thing originally from adult fetishes.

30 odd years ago kids were into this stuff and many of them are now adults into this stuff. Most have no fetish connection with it.

How do I know? Been there, seen it, taken part in some of it as a teen, still know lots of adults who were kids at the time etc.

It actually is entirely harmless. Discouraging kids from being allowed to dress with ears and a tail when they're expressing themselves and enjoying something harmless is ridiculous.

The only thing which needs watching is if they end up on the kind of social media they shouldn't have access to in the first place, where they might join groups for the minority of adults who do take it further go.

It's no different to how many of us love to dress up or cosplay for fun and because we are into fandoms or enjoy making the outfits, but you'll always get people who like to dress as medical staff, candystripers and school girls etc for sexual role play.

I mean, have you ever heard of sploshing? Go have a Google. You all going to ban cakes and sweets and midnight feasts at kids slumber parties? Of course not.

YankSplaining · 13/09/2024 00:45

Sunshineandpool · 12/09/2024 16:19

Can you explain more about anime please? My DC enjoy studio Ghibli films - I wasn't aware of a link with grooming?

There’s no link between Studio Ghibli films and grooming. (Unless you want to count the little girls in “My Neighbor Totoro” taking a bath with their dad, but from what I understand, that was normal in that era in Japan because it took a long time for people in rural areas to heat water.) Anime is animation from Japan, not a type of genre or subject matter.