to think that there is a larger than average number of perfect mothers with perfect children around on MN these days?

[emkana]

With children who will just admire the view in the car, and who will appreciate the delights of historic sites without the added attraction of a playground, and who can be taken along to dinner where they will join in with adult conversation...

Poor Libby! I think of her. When I was at my worst moments this past year, I thought of her the same way I thought of my own mother, and it stopped me from chosing the same path her son did, in addition to the faces of my own children.

I wish there were some way of comforting her, of letting her know people understand how much she loved him.

She knew he was ill. That is a mother's worst torment.

the perfect mums make me think poker faced broom up yer arse no funwho are mendacious

Not sure what you mean, Elasticwoman. Are you linking her son's tragic suicide with Libby's parenting?

were things that bad for you expat. I knew of some of it, but

I don't see gloating when women post about dh/dp. What I do read is women giving other women strength and the benefit of their own experiences or professional judgement.

MN is a diverse place.

fucking hell elasticwoman, I think you have to expand on that a little, because it's so painful and shocking.

What point are you trying to make from that very sad fact?

mendacious is an excellent word

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i likey it lots and use it when i can

I think EW is saying the complete opposite. That non-perfection is a state to aspire to, but that we still can't protect our lo's from everything, even if we want to.

Makingdo so sad about your brother yes such traumatic events have a devastating impact

OK, I saw the other thread to which you are referring to. But I havent been to Leeds castle so I wasnt sure what type of play area. Was it a couple of swings or a full blown multi coloured ball park. I worked for a leisure centre and they hated the childrens play area as it was not commercially viable i.e was not making money for the business so, therfore, we should not look down on play areas.

Sorry to interupt re suicides etc (of which I have experience) just thought I was posting on a general thread. I'm sure the OP on the childrens play area thread was a bit pissed of at the distraction.

Oh there was a THREAD. I remember a really dismal holiday I had in Cornwall with dh and the kids where it pissed down every day and we nearly got divorced in the seal sanctuary, but we couldn't bring ourselves to take the kids to soft play, because it wasn't sufficiently CORNISH.

Aiming to be perfect is a sure fire road to mental/emotional issues.

Because you will fail. No oneis perfect. you will therefore always be striving harder for something unobtainable, will judge yoirself and others harshly and very likely either become obsessive in an unrelenting bid to acheive this impossible goal, or suffer low self esteem and depression.

A need to be perefect is often a central reason that poelpe end up in therapy.

Perfection is WAY over rated.

In fact when applied to peopel it is always dangerous.

Of course if you asctually think you are perefct, you already have a borderline mental illness and that's a whole different ball game.

I'm saying Libby did the best she could, and yet the worst still happened.

Was it her that said "I don't want to be a Perfect mother. I just want to be a good enough mother."?

That's the sort of mother I want to be. I know that some of my priorities are not the same as other people's and sometimes I can't understand other people's choices. Sometimes I can't understand my own, I just have gut feelings about some things.

lol...you know, I always think that people are just pretending in order to talk themselfs "up"....

Ms Purves son was suffering from depression and his judgement and volition was impaired.this complex ilness is biopsychosocial serotonin deficit and not a direct result of Ms Purves parenting

it is heartbreaking for anyone to experience this

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is there such a thing as a perfect mother....I doubt thre is anyone that is perfect full stop

oh i'm perfect and i have pefect children

[hides portable dvd player, nintendo ds and macdonalds wrapppers]

oh dear - it was mine who went to Mcds and then refused to go again...

believe me - I am so not a perfect mother with so not perfect children.... if only you knew

wouldn't want to be perfect, too stressful,too competitive a game you would never win ever changing goal posts

Oh Tommy don't worry about it. Mine are also poncey about McDs..... partly because I don't like it......not for perfection reasons but for political/ ones.....but once when we had a blowout in the car opposite a mcdonalds and the AA were going to be 2 hours, I took the dds in for some warmth a wee and some juice and dd1 said with bell like clarity "eugh, mummy, what is that smell, it smells like something that is pretending to be chicken." We all have our ponce moments.