Do some mums just not like working?

[Dragontooth]

I know this sounds awful, and judgey but I'm trying to understand. I am not a benefit basher and I used to be on benefits, also a single parent.
I'm on a lot of 'being skint' forums, I was on UC but now I have quite a lot of experience in various things so I like to try to help.
There are a number of mums who were previously on legacy benefits who are terrified by UC and the work search appointments. Lots who are unemployed and some who do very part time jobs, 10 hours or less.
I don't understand why they are so resistant to finding work or better paid work. Having been on benefits, it is a horrible existence. I was paid £850 per month. Clearly it would only take a MW part time job to make me so much better off. And they pay for childcare/ holiday club.
It literally changes your life. You can pay for things to have a better, easier life like driving lessons. Not only that but you are back in the work place so it's not such a shock when your children leave home.
I feel these women are so anxious, they can't see how their lives could look with more money/ options. Not only that but a lot of them have their heads in the sand about retirement, will we even get a state pension? Then there's the fact that it's so much harder getting back into employment after five or ten years out, I think that's what UC wants to avoid. I'm not saying it's a kind or person centred system but in reality is taking years out of the workplace really in these women's best interests either?
Disability/ disabled children obviously excluded.

My Dsis is like this, she's on managed move to UC now and I was helping her. I was astonished with what she has been getting for a bit of part time and freelance work

There are very few disabilities that prevent someone from working. Severe profound learning difficulties, for example.

No one has had to make any adjustments for me because I work from home and just get on with it. Yes, some days I'm crying in pain, or so exhausted I can barely lift my head, but if I didn't work, who would pay my bills?

There’s a lot of privilege in this thread.

The key really I think is to find some gratitude in your own life and keep your neck out of others. People are complex and see life through their own (narrow) lense.

I don’t think a mother on benefits is any worse a person than a professional mother, our systems don’t support many on either side of the coin.

No one should be forced into doing care work, or befriending. Would you want your elderly mum being looked after by someone who was forced to be there?

And working for benefits is bullshit anyway. Pay them a proper wage and call it a job.

Even if such programs were offered, then what? There's only so much that can be done in terms of integrating people into the workforce before companies reach a point where they no longer require additional employees.

Once the available positions are filled, given both the population of the UK and the broader global workforce, what will be done with the surplus of individuals still seeking employment? The current capitalist model, which prioritizes profit maximization and efficiency, fundamentally needs to be reevaluated.

As automation, AI, and technological advancements continue to reduce the need for human labor, simply creating more jobs isn't a sustainable solution. We must consider broader structural changes that address the long-term implications of an economic system designed for growth, but not necessarily for equitable human prosperity. What role do we envision for individuals in a future where traditional work may no longer be the primary means of societal contribution?

I don't want to work. People actually want to work? I would live a life of leisure the second I won the lottery. I don't think people should get to just choose not to work and be supported by the council but no, of course people don't want to work. It sucks.

But you're able to sit on Mumsnet and type responses to people? Why not put that time and energy into data entry from home, or something similar?

@Dragontooth
You are very naive but well intended.
I had a great career, worked full time, never claimed benefits etc. I now have a severely disabled daughter and I am at home every day caring for her. We have not managed to find a suitable educational placement for her due to her needs. The local authority were willing to place her in a private boarding school for approximately 100k a year if I signed over parental responsibility- which was never going to happen!

DH works full time but we do receive universal credit. The struggle on benefits is real- please do not assume people do not want to work. My old life was a piece of pie.

On Facebook groups/forums people don't often explain their full story (and they shouldn't have too). I really do not try to judge anyone and try to understand their situation instead. Inevitably there are people who don't want to work, the same as there are people who would rather be at work than parent their children. Try some understanding rather than judgement.

Wow

I’m a single mum. I receive UC and 85% of childcare costs. I study 3 afternoons a week whilst she’s at nursery, and also work in a fast food restaurant all weekend so I can afford to run a house and feed my child. I miss out on so much quality time with her, I’m constantly exhausted, the pay is crap and the job is physically demanding. I’ve looked for other jobs but there is absolutely nothing going where I live with the flexibility I need. I’d much rather not work, but I can’t afford not to, I have no idea how other single mums can afford not to unless they get decent CM? I don’t get a penny. I wouldn’t change being a mum for the world but my god it’s not easy juggling everything and trying to keep my head above water.

Complete bullshit OP.

Unless you’re going from benefits to a well/high paid job (absolutely not minimum wage or anywhere even close over it) you are not better off working.

For someone who claims to have been on benefits, you seem absolutely obvious to the “grey area” that keeps lots of people, mainly parents (as then the kids suffer too) out of the workforce.

Yes, this is all very true, and I agree. I'm honestly not sure what the answer is, but at the moment, it isn't working.

@Moretetrafish oh absolutely. I accept my privilege that I work in a job I enjoy which allows me to fund a lifestyle that living on benefits wouldn't. I also didn't grow up in an environment where we relied on benefits or anyone we knew did. Same now. So it's just not in my sphere of understanding I suppose that you can choose not to work. But I get that for some it's not a choice.

It isn't paid employment t. You can't live on fresh air.

they are happy and healthy and doing well because I’m prioritising my parenting and doing my best.

You WFH. That is a huge privilege in itself.
Some people would only ever be capable of NMW physical jobs. If they are disabled, they can't work.
But anyone with a mental disability/illness is lazy in your eyes.

Wtaf is wrong with you?

You are doing great. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone.
I have seen a lot of bashing on MN of autistic mums that can't work, and it is vile.

Years ago housing costs were much lower and women could be around when their kids were small to do school runs, go to sports days, keep on top of housework. It wasn't perfect but it was less stressful.

Now women still have to do school runs, housework etc but also do a full time job like their partners. It's ridiculously tiring and stressful. Women are basically doing 2 full time jobs!

When my two youngest are in full time school I’m hoping to be able to do my GCSEs or some kind of course . It’s not my long term plan to not work but right now with young children I’m prioritising my parenting.

I’ve been a parent since I was 19 and disabled myself with arthritis and chronic pain since I was 20. I have always worked full time. It’s just not optional to me. I love having a career.
In later years, I had a child with SEN, and yes it’s been a struggle at times, when wrap around care could no longer have him, I had to quit a career I adored to do something more flexible. I like paying my bills and going on holidays and having money to do nice things. I can’t imagine relying on the state to fund my life, or living the narrow life that would provide me with.

A lot of people in TA type jobs get paid £850 per month to work 3 day’s per week.

People choosing to be on benefits are depriving the people who need to be on benefits. So yes, most mums who chose to be a taxpayer-funded SAHM should be working.

The welfare state is supposed to be a safety net not a lifestyle.

Thankyou.