Female teacher calling dc beautiful

[Minty197]

Y1 class. Teacher is female and says bye beautiful to some of the girls at drop off when dc run to their parents. Would you see this as ok

Yep. As long as it wasn't only to a small number of favourites.

Probably not in the teacher’s handbook and I wouldn’t as a teacher.

Could I get worked up about it? Probably not unless it was targeted at some not others.

But then there was a thread the other day where people thought saying “ hi beautiful” was intolerably misogynistic so there will be people who strongly object.

No, but thoughtless rather than sinister. I'd raise it as promoting a sexist mindset in the children. Fine for them to use a neutral endearment instead.

A teacher should not do this. I do say bye beautiful to some girls I know WELL (whose mums are my friends). In a professional capacity I wouldn't. But do you really want to make a big deal out of this? She probably means it in a kind and empowering way and I would let it go unless DC feels uncomfortable...

Oh, just to add. I do say bye beatiful sometimes to my DS as well (when alone:). Beautiful can be a concept not just about physical attributes.

Beautiful might be as in beautiful person? Rather than a comment on their physicality

It's fine, she's just saying a nice thing to them.

God, imagine being a teacher now with people dissecting the tiniest things you say on top of what is already a really grueling job.

Get your point…..but should it even be said in that context?

It would grate a bit with me, too. But I wouldn't make any kind of issue with it. People use all sorts of words in that endearment role, where the literal meaning of the term is secondary to the sense of the person being cherished. I often say something like "my lovely" (or something even dafter like "sausage" though I wouldn't do that in a professional capacity).

It is a good opportunity for you to say something low key about the unimportance of beauty, or about how "beautiful" in this context should mean something other than physical characteristics - just general loveliness.

But definitely a low key, casual remark.

Better than bye Ugly

That’s lovely, isn’t it?

I’m sure it’s being said as a pet name instead of ‘hun’ or ‘love’ but it still must give the children a little boost.

I wouldnt get worked up about it but actually I did sit in some staff training once about how gendered these types of things were.

So girls were getting called beautiful, pet, lovs and so on frequently and boys were getting called thier name or nothing frequently.

We were asked to think about it. Anyway I worked in the office and couldn't remember 300 names so universally went with 'pumpkin' which no doubt will lead to some child need counselling (I hope not) but I felt wasnt gendered or a possible physical or mental attribute.

Maybe it's wrong but I say this to all my friends children. I guess it's different being a teacher but it definitely wouldn't bother me.

couldn't remember 300 names so universally went with 'pumpkin'

Somehow pumpkin sounds more professional than sausage so I think you made a good choice

It's fine as long as they say it to the boys too otherwise its sexist. Image based compliments annoy me but they happen.

Seriously, I'm usually concerned about gendered language, but in the context of small children at school (and my DGD started school last week) I'd just be really happy that their teacher was warm and affectionate, and made them feel good.

Every child, boy and girl, should be told they are beautiful. Every person should know there is someone in this world who thinks they are beautiful.

I remember a Mum saying she never calls her child pretty or beautiful but if her child dresses up she tells her she looks very neat or tidy instead. That child will notice the absence of being called beautiful. I don’t think it’s a good thing.

I wouldn't love it, but if my DC was happy at school and there were no other issues then I wouldn't care and certainly wouldn't raise it.

We all have our verbal tics.

I would have liked that as a child.
I’d like it today too.

Ahh my primary teacher always called us all sausage in the 80s

Our GP uses Little Bird during all baby vaccination appointments. Very sweet.

I'm a primary teacher and I often call kids 'gorgeous' - but I do it to girls and boys (including my own sons). I hadn't thought that it would bother anyone... 😬

Blimey, teaching staff can't do right for doing wrong!
I worked with a wonderful teacher who often called children gorgeous or beautiful. She's the loveliest person and would be upset if she thought parents were judging her for that.
I preferred to call children my lovely but that's because I couldn't remember countless children's names

Never heard that from a teacher. I don’t think it’s appropriate, not offensive I suppose but probably sexist.

My dc’s primary school teacher used to say, ‘Well done for sitting beautifully’ which I thought was odd. It was always ‘beautifully’ this and ‘beautifully’ that. That was to both boys and girls though!

Why not?