Female teacher calling dc beautiful

[Minty197]

Y1 class. Teacher is female and says bye beautiful to some of the girls at drop off when dc run to their parents. Would you see this as ok

I would only be concerned if she was saying 'bye beautiful' to a select few gorgeous little girls and 'cya my little chunky monkey' or something similar to other kids

I call my older teen boys beautiful regularly. And my husband for that matter. I didn’t realise it was gendered.

Thinking about it, that’s probably because my mum always called both me and my older brother beautiful, so I must have picked it up from her.

So I’m going to wheel out that old MN classic of … could it be a regional thing?

Dd is affectionately known as doughnut in gym class because of her regular injuries. She likes it. Not sure what she'd think of beautiful!

A teacher says something nice to your child and here you are moaning about it.

How unpleasant of you.

Yes possibly not. But it may just have been an accidental lapse rather than something sinister. I would give the benefit of the doubt in this case if there is no reason to believe otherwise

I think it's nice. Wouldn't get worked up about it. Lead by example.

Sounds like everyday sexism to me. What does she say to the boys - bye brainy? Probably wouldn't be something to do with their looks. Similarly a male teacher saying that would instantly be pulled up on it.

My thoughts exactly 😂

While I don't think it's sinister or anything, I wouldn't like it because teachers using language like "beautiful" for girls and names like "champ" etc for boys actually promotes gender stereotypes

I wouldn't say it myself. But i would think it is nice teacher seems warm and compliments them......or i would think it was disingenuous and roll my eyes. Either way I wouldn't complain or seek to stop it.

Yes….I would too….round my way people say lovely…..so bye bye lovely …..it’s said to girls and boys …..can’t say I’ve heard a teacher say it….but I wouldn’t be offended….I wouldn’t think it meant the teacher thought a child was particularly lovely….it would just be a local saying

The teacher is trying to express warmth and boost self confidence. Schools are about more than exams. Some of these pupils will be from backgrounds where such things are sadly lacking.

The world really has gone mad. It's a word that some people say instead of 'love', 'dear' etc. why would anyone have a problem with that?

Reading some of these comments gives me a whole new respect for teachers. I’d rather chew my own arm off than face some of this utterly irrational nit picking.

Imagine trusting somebody to care for your child unsupervised daily AND to act in the best interest of their education but treat them with such suspicion and ready criticism.

Fuck that.

I think it's-

Too overly familiar

If it's only to girls it reinforces the belief that a girls value is on her looks

I'm glad you said this - I'm a former primary teacher and my standard term of endearment was 'lovely', but 'gorgeous' sometimes slipped out, both for girls and boys (usually when I was a bit distracted by something else, and just defaulted to what I call my own kids) and then I always felt a bit stressed about having said it afterwards 😂

The teacher is in a position of care, and they are speaking in an affectionate, kind way to children who they spend 5 days a week in a room with. For some of those kids, that feeling of being spoken to kindly will be incredibly important.

It would be much nicer if she were using the term universally, though :)

But this teacher didn’t say champ…..she said beautiful….maybe she says that to the boys too….they are only 5 and 6…..I’m not a teacher but I would say bye bye lovely ( that’s the local thing where I live) to boys and girls at that age

' Bye beautiful ' is very different to ' omg x you are so beautiful'.

Its a bit of an odd one but I think it's just about OK.

Absolutely!
Honestly, you wouldn't believe some of the complaints from some of the parents! It's becoming impossible and why the teaching profession is in decline.
I was a TA and left over a year ago because my job was becoming impossible. A real shame.

I'd rather than then she be cold or sharp. Does she only say it to some of the girls though? That's the bit that would bother me.

It's not odd It's 100% OK. I despair how all of our language is being scrutinised nowadays. George Orwell will be turning in his grave. I wouldn't be a teacher for all the tea in China. (Hopefully that very old saying is not considered racist).

Yep fine. My aunt is a reception teacher and she says 'good morning lovely' to the kids when they come in.

My SIL calls all the kids in our family 'beauty'.

It's not sexist or commenting on their appearance. It's just a nice term to use and hopefully builds the child's confidence. Remember not all kids get compliments or affectionate nicknames at home so it'll make them feel special.

Quite!
I thought I'd quoted you in my post but it didn't 🙄

Just said exactly the same. My aunt has been a reception teacher for 30 years and has always said 'good morning lovely' or 'bye lovely' to the kids. They also always run up to her and give her a hug when they see her at events or out and about (small village school) but that's probably frowned upon these days too!

Why does 'beautiful' mean it's about their looks?

You can have a beautiful personality.

She isn't saying to them 'you look beautiful' is she?