Female teacher calling dc beautiful

[Minty197]

Y1 class. Teacher is female and says bye beautiful to some of the girls at drop off when dc run to their parents. Would you see this as ok

Maybe she says it to the ugly ones to boost their confidence.

@Justsomethoughts "
It’s just a shame that what was most likely meant as an innocent term of endearment can be taken to mean something different in today's world."

They've always meant that. It's just that we, quite rightly, don't like that sort of language any more, and understand that it's perpetuating an unhealthy message.

On the radio this morning there was an item on the news about the death of James Earl Jones. A film director was quoted as saying "he was a beautiful human being". I'm pretty sure he wasn't referring to physical beauty.

The word has expanded in meaning, and I don't see it anywhere near as gendered as it would have been in the past.

We women are fortunate not to have to confirm to the restrictions that are informally placed on men, in this regard. It's one of the few bonuses to being a woman. We can speak affectionately without being seen as creepy. I like that.

I’d like it to be honest. My daughter would also love it.

Do we really believe that the teacher is talking about the child’s physical beauty here? I agree with other posters who say the word beautiful encompasses other non physical attributes.

Sure, if a teacher is singling out selected girls and consistently calling them beautiful and saying nothing to the others then that is definitely not on and is weird coming from either a male or female teacher. But is that what is going on here? Has the OP clarified that?

I think it's perfectly fine. But do think it should be said to both boys and girls.

In my native country (not English speaking), it is very common to greet everybody, male and female, with 'Hi, Gorgeous' (not quite, it literally means "good looking" but so you get the unisex nature of the word - which is gendered by the way, for gammar geeks).

I have known teachers in the UK to greet all girls with 'Morning, Beautiful' and all boys with 'Morning, Handsome'. I thought it was nice and confidence boosting, so did the children. I did wonder why different terms but I decided that was down to usage. Same meaning and intention so job's a good one.

I think it would be nit picking to critique it.
i just don’t think we need to be policing language to this extent.
Beauty is more than skin deep. It doesn’t need to be a problematic term.
People have their own individual terms of endearments - let’s try and allow people to be themselves where we can. Then the world is a more interesting place.

Thanks for that 😂😂

I agree. We aren’t going to change a whole culture by censoring female teachers. I just don’t think it’s the right way to go about it.

Why can’t you answer the question @Minty197 about whether it’s only girls she addresses like that and how she addresses the boys? That’s the crux of the matter surely?

As a mum I would of course tell my child they were beautiful all the time whatever gender they were!

But this is a teacher, and if they're only speaking to girls this way (which is what OP implies), then it's definitely problematic.

TBH as a teacher I would avoid using any words that might be interpreted to be about a child's physical appearance, I would just go for something like 'sweetie' instead.

I don't think it's really 'a shame that this is how things are', that we are thinking about this more than we have historically and talking about it.

It needs to be talked about how girls and boys are treated/ addressed differently, and it's good to talk about it and become aware.

Of course it doesn't need to be a problematic term.

But if a teacher is only calling girls beautiful - and only certain girls - then that teacher is making it problematic.

I don't find this odd? They're sitting beautifully ie nice and sensibly?

We had a welcome meeting for my sons class today where his (male) teacher started off by saying that the children have settled in beautifully - nothing wrong with that

Quite. We’re a few days into term, so I’d be cautious about jumping to conclusions. She likely says it to everyone.

When I taught in primary schools, every child I spoke to was a ‘lovely’ or a ‘sweetheart’. I’ve got to admit that sometimes it was because I couldn’t remember their names! I don’t think anybody ever complained.

It needs to be talked about how girls and boys are treated/ addressed differently, and it's good to talk about it and become aware.

I frequently hear nurses/teachers calling children of both sexes "lovely", if they say "beautiful" or "gorgeous" or anything else positive, warm and friendly then surely it's to be encouraged. Might be the only kind word or compliment a child gets all day?

I'd rather people talked about/were aware of how to stop parents screaming "You effing little shit" at their 5year old in public.

In Australia, my friend uses the word beautiful as a term of endearment in the same way as someone would say 'mate'. She uses it more in the context they are a beautiful on the inside rather than the outside - and she uses it with children and adults of both sexes. Its not a judgement on physical 'beauty'. I suspect many Australians do - and I am guessing the teacher is either Australian or has Australian friends and family.

I have heard the teacher say it at pick up time to a select few. It was just another parent also mentioned it so thought I would see what people think

It’s only been girls that she has said it to me at pick up time. Obviously I don’t know during the school day. She just shouts it to a select few girls as they leave to go with their parent in the playground

@SlothOnARope "I'd rather people talked about/were aware of how to stop parents screaming "You effing little shit" at their 5year old in public"

It's not one or the other......

@KimberleyClark

WTF of course it would be fine.

I find that a bit inappropriate from a teacher but maybe it's just me. Names like lovely, darling, sweetheart all fine but beautiful....no, not sure about that one.

On another note, I used to have an older female colleague who would call many of us beautiful, gorgeous girl etc as well as darling, sweetheart etc. I used to really feel some comfort from it. Not because I believed she did think I was actually physically beautiful but just because it made me feel better about myself when I have always struggled massively with self esteem.

People always talk to girls about their appearance.

It would be great if a teacher could say "hi intelligent"

That would have seemed like I was completely taking the piss if I’d said it to some of my former pupils! 😂

Don’t think I used many terms of endearment as a primary school teacher, but I'm not bothered by those that do, nor by the use of “beautiful”; as long as all the children are spoken to in similarly nice ways.

I had an email from my DDs teacher (GCSE stage) saying she was always delighted to see DDs beautiful face in class (DD is SEN and had some attendance issues due to MH struggles) and see the wonderful work she produced.
DD was delighted, as was I, and it gave her boost!

No it's an idiotic thing to say to your students