To think ‘overprotective’ parents aren’t even ‘protective’?

[Sparting]

My experience of overprotective parents is that they’re so convinced they’re ’always right’ that they don’t protect their children because they often override their child’s legitimate concerns.

My parents forced a friendship between me and this girl when I was 11 because the ‘friend’ was from an educated, middle class background and my mother was a snob. This girl was very bitchy, snide and superior to me and ruined my self esteem but when I complained about her to my mum she just said No!!! and shouted me down, as if she didn’t want to contemplate this

i think overprotective parenting is all about overstepping their child’s boundaries.

For what it’s worth, I think there’s a huge overlap between overprotectiveness, abusiveness and narcissism in parents.

AIBU?

I’m not seeing how forcing a friendship with this girl was being overprotective?

Your post doesn’t make sense. Your parents forcing you into a friendship with a child you didn’t like doesn’t have anything on the face of it to do with ‘over-protectiveness’.

Your story doesn’t seem to relate to your hypothesis.

Agreeing with the other PPs

Some would say it’s overprotective as forcing friendships oversteps a child’s emotional boundaries.

Forcing a friendship isn't being over protective. It's controlling and misguided.
In my experience overprotective parents were unprotected children and are so afraid of their childhood experiences being repeated.

I think those people would be in a minority.

Yes / I agree with you but some say that overprotective parenting is essentially about control

That’s not what overprotective means.

”Over-involved”?

what a peculiar example OP

you are making NO sense

“Some” don’t say that. That’s just you.

I’ve got another one / the fact that they weren’t prepared to believe me when I said my teacher was abusive

Your example is more controlling than over protective.

On principle though I agree. My partner’s ex is over protective and this results in her being controlling. It’s all about her own needs and desires, rather than the child’s.

it sounds like you had unpleasant parents

and certainly not overprotective

You’re conflating two unrelated things here. Your parents forcing you to hang out with this child because she was “middle class” is nothing to do with being “overprotective”.

Snobbish/aspirational/pushy? Yes. Overprotective? No. Not if the child was unkind to you.

are you kidding me?

this contradicts your thread ENTIRELY

weird

How is this an example of being over protective? I don’t think you understand what it means.

But again, that’s zero to do with being ‘over-protective’. Under-protective, if anything.

None of your examples are of being overprotective.
More controlling and neglectful.

op i think you need to speak to a professional in Rl about your childhood

and also maybe an english tutor

That’s not overprotective either. Overprotective parents would have removed you from the school just in case the teacher was ever abusive, even when the child said they weren’t. Yours seem to be deliberately leaving you in danger. Underprotective, if anything.

In what way would that be overprotective?

I’m really sorry you had these experiences, OP. But none of your examples have anything to do with overprotective parenting.

Can you tell me what you think overprotective is? Without using your own experience as examples.

Yes this, overprotectiveness puts parents issues on to kids but how is forcing friends make someone overprotective?