To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

[AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment]

I'm very, very aware that this thread will probably get some nasty responses.

But I'm young (26), overweight and short. I try to dress nicely and I'm actively losing weight, but I'm just curious. What do you actually think when you see a fat person? I've never given it much thought before now as I've been fat my entire life, but what do you really think? Am I walking round oblivious to the fact I'm being judged all the time or do people just not care?

I feel sorry for them and think in most cases it's because their parents have brought them up not knowing how to eat healthily. I know in a small minority of cases that's not the case.

Often I wouldn't give it any thought because being overweight has become so shockingly normal in the last few decades. But if I do happen to register a younger person's heaviness, I feel sad, angry that here is yet another person whose health is being compromised by their weight
I don't have any judgemental thoughts at all about the person (in the sense of "For goodness sake why can't they 'make healthier eating choices'"). I struggle enough with emotional comfort eating to know what a battle food can be, and I can begin to imagine how much more distressing that battle would be if I were overweight.
I just feel angry that developments in the food industry since my own childhood in the 70s have basically pushed an absolute avalanche of cheap, addictive, unbalanced processed food at us. Some people are lucky and can handle that without getting overweight (for whatever reason). Others struggle more. And I guess when I see someone overweight I think of them as victims.
Sometimes I also worry that the person might not even experience themselves as overweight, might think of their heaviness as normal and unproblematic, because it is so common now (and I guess because of the whole 'body positivity' thing)

I don’t find weight control easy but I did when I was younger. My friend when I was a kid was overweight and it was really hard for her. I thought this was unfair genetics at the time. Looking back as an adult I can see this had to do with family trauma. So now if I see an overweight child or young adult I do worry about their MH or their parents MH.

But to be honest there’s a lot of poor MH and poverty over the last 15 years thanks to austerity and cost of living with the Tories and huge numbers of people relying on food banks. It’s a privilege these days to not have to worry about whether eating healthier food is in reach financially. So I also worry that overweight people may be struggling financially as well. It’s really complicated the reasons why people’s lives are the way they are.

People notice change I think especially when you look different.

I don’t think buses ought to be redesigned to accommodate the extremely large. People are not supposed to be obese. Changing everything to accommodate them merely normalises it more and more.

Nah its true- I really am that self absorbed 😂 I have so much to think about and do on a daily basis and I have a running self commentary in my head about my own stuff that I honestly dont have the time or the inclination to wonder about a stranger's life. Your friend might do that but that doesnt mean we all do. I am not minimising rude attitudes towards people who are overweight as I know that exists but I can guarantee that most people are way more focused on themselves and dont even view you as worthy of that much thinking (this isnt meant in a nasty way, its just human nature and it applies to all strangers, not just overweight ones)

I saw a large family the other day, mum, dad and kids age probably 6ish and 9ish were all very overweight. I judged the parents, I think it’s disgusting to feed your children to point they’re overweight. I don’t think there is any excuse. If they weee smokers or alcoholics no one would expect they let their children do that too. I think it’s quite hard for kids that age to eat so much to point of being very overweight.

young people, I perhaps feel sorry for them. I was overweight in my early twenties and it’s a rubbish time of life to be overweight. You feel virtually invisible

I have a wonderful friend who is in her 50's and very large and has very limited mobility . I feel more sad that her 3 children are all very large in their twenties . I think their mother's health should be a warning but it's not .
It's none of my business and I'd never say anything but I do wonder how they'll be going forward .they are such a lovely lovely family but the weight is a concern for their future wellbeing

Depends on the kid for me. In my family it's normal to get fat before a growth spurt. We are tall and sturdily built. None of us have ever been 'waddling fat' and I do worry for children with that much extra flesh - but I'm not seeing many of those (yet?)

@AgnesX these are random strangers though, as I'm walking past I've genuinely had 3/4 people in the last two weeks just stop me and say "your dress is beautiful" or "you look beautiful" which is a real shock to me as I don't tend to think of myself as being a beautiful person 😂 I was just thinking about it over my coffee 😂

When I see a young fat person, I wonder how they've got that way. And yes I do judge and feel sorry for them, because I can't see how they can be happy.

My parents brought me up incredibly healthily - tonnes of exercise and healthy foods. Unfortunately that hasn't stopped me developing PCOS as an adult which has led me to struggle with my weight 🤷‍♀️

sad, if I’m being perfectly honest

know how hard it is and I have had issues with weight gain. So I know it’s miserable.

clothing is more inclusive now which I think is nice because I found that really upsetting as a younger, bigger bodied woman.

I don’t think anything spiteful. It’s very easy to be overweight and the regular lifestyle in this country contributes to it.

but I do think it’s a huge waste of youth to be in a body that might be more prone to lifestyle conditions and can’t be as active as needed for the ideal cardiovascular health.

I would surround yourself by people who value health.

I wonder how it is that they are so young and overeat to that extent, and hope they can get themselves some support for their issues.

I wonder if all the unpleasant, judgemental people would still feel the same if they learned how many of us had underlying health issues and problems?

My son is overweight but he has disordered eating due to his autism/ADHD. He's an extremely active child fortunately otherwise it would be a lot worse. I hide a lot of things to try and minimise his compulsion to binge. I worry that people judge me as a parent when actually it's a constant battle. He's had a few comments at school from nasty kids that has affected his confidence.

I'm hoping that he's going to shoot up soon and it will even out. He does also exercise with me which is great but he really struggles with food in a way that I don't. It isn't always obvious to others why these situations come about. I do feel sad when I see very overweight parents who have over fed their children and you can see it's a pattern being repeated. It's such a complex subject.

I think: Unfair. We have failed them. I thought that just the other day in town, walking past so many borderline obese teens.

As a society we have created endless means of avoiding exercise (escalators, lifts, travelators, remote controls, mobile phones.) We have sold off school playing fields, We drive everywhere and have made it unsafe to walk to school due to the amount of traffic on the roads. We have tripled or quadrupled portion sizes since the 1970s and we have increased the availability of addictive UPF and made snacking habitual. It's hard to recognise genuine hunger any more.

A bit sad.

Perhaps you are just beautiful, AugustSlipped. I've never been overweight but I've also never had random people coming up to me and saying I am beautiful (apart from men who were being sleazy creeps).

@ReadWithScepticism I've genuinely never seen myself that way, I'm hoping as I lose weight I will start to!

Not all weight problems are caused by overeating 🙄

I generally don't even notice as the majority of British people are overweight. However, I notice the overall trend rather than individuals. I do notice that more young people are overweight than when I was young for example, and I do think it's worrying. I do think about the reasons for this, such as more sedentary lifestyles and UPFs.
I wouldn't really notice you though, if you walked past me in the street.

Sympathetic towards others. No one gets big like that for no reason. We all have struggles it's just some are more obvious than others.

It entirely depends on how overweight the person is. Clearly ‘overweight’ or even ‘obese’ but not obviously impeded by their size then it wouldn’t really register unless (and I am sorry for saying this) I was sat by them in a plane/train etc where their size impacted me and I couldn’t do anything about it.

If it was obvious the person was unable to properly walk, was using a mobility scooter or was absolutely exceptional in weight the same way a 7ft man would be then yes I would notice and wonder why and how they got to be that size.

The only time I judge is when I see ‘body positivity’ influencers because it’s not positive. It’s unhealthy and they are damaging their lives and health.

I've got to be honest, I feel sad for them. Not from an aesthetic point of view, for their health.

I'm not talking about someone who's a size 14, but if someone is that overweight that it will be affecting their energy levels/health/activities they can do, I just worry for them. They're in what should be the prime of their life, and it's only going to go downhill.

If you can get a grip on it early on, and get into good eating/exercise habits, life will be a lot easier as you age.

There's a local family I've known for years who have all been overweight their whole life (parents were also overweight) and they've all got health problems likely caused by their weight, in their 40's. Their children are going the same way.