To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

[AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment]

I'm very, very aware that this thread will probably get some nasty responses.

But I'm young (26), overweight and short. I try to dress nicely and I'm actively losing weight, but I'm just curious. What do you actually think when you see a fat person? I've never given it much thought before now as I've been fat my entire life, but what do you really think? Am I walking round oblivious to the fact I'm being judged all the time or do people just not care?

I don’t know, it was just a thought that popped into my head as I got ready for work this morning! I was just curious because I have noticed as I've lost about a stone and a half that people have become a lot friendlier to me - I get so many compliments on what I'm wearing now when I didn't even a few months ago

Depends how old and how big.

If a minor, I think their parents should have done a better job, but acknowledge they may have prada Willi syndrome in which case it’s apparently inevitable.

If a young adult, but not all that big, I don’t notice much. Unless they dress badly for it.

If adult and huge, I clock it, but think it’s up to them to do something about it.

Thereafter I actively try not to notice.

If they are shouting about fat acceptance (so mostly podcast/tiktok world, I internally note that many of the ‘fat acceptance’ influencers that have popped up over the last ten year are already dead due to their incredibly unhealthy size. Then I go on with my day.

Elephant in the room here, but consciously or unconsciously I'd label you as unattractive. Many others would to, limiting your career, limit the best chances of finding a great partner as well as all the health risks (and yes they include Infertility for the donut here who mistook her personal experience for a scientific study). I'd also be disappointed at this countries attitude towards health and nutrition.

I hate fat acceptance with a passion.

It's not about making sure people don't feel insecure while being supported to make the best decisions for their own health, it's about lazy people binge eating on the internet for attention

I don't think anything. There are all manner of body shapes out there and none of them are my business, nor are any of them reflective of anything important about the person.

As can be seen from many of the responses in this thread, MN is full of judgmental idiots on this subject. Faux-concern about "health" and "state of the nation" makes it worse, not better, than someone who just owns their prejudice.

See this is my thing, a lot of my friends are in the "every body is beautiful" camp, but mine just isn't and I don't think it's wrong to say that about myself? But people seem to think it is

Out walking the other day and I saw a very obese child playing with friends. He was very flushed and I thought that he was struggling. I did wonder why the parents had enabled him to get to this position. I felt sorry for him. There's a whole swathe of children who are going to face a life of health issues, it's plain for everyone to see.

At 26 you arent young, you aren't even classed as a young adult as that finishes at 25. I wouldn't give any real thought or even notice you unless I suppose if you were exceptionally large like 600lbs and struggling to move in which case I would think what a shame you are missing out on so much life as you wouldn't be able to access things and how physically difficult your life must be.

If you were actually young, like a child who has no control over their diet or physical activity and you were more than 'chubby' I'd judge your parents as abusive. Ofcourse you may have a medical condition but more often it's poor diet and lack of activity in in my area.

You are probably getting more attention and people being friendlier because you have more confidence, your body language is more approachable, are dressing better as you like your new shape or fitting into nicer clothes etc. No one wants to approach anyone with low self esteem that gives off a "fuck off and leave me alone" aura.

I do notice, I'll be honest. I'm obese myself so I feel a bit miserable and renewed wish to keep going with losing. Then I think about it on a social level - I work for a stroke team and so I imagine that person might have a stroke and how bad that would be, plus i think about the fact that over 60% of the UK is overweight or obese and what a major health time bomb that is. Just a general rush of negative feelings, but not focused on the person themselves.

Can't lie I didn't think the harshest reality check on this would be about my age 🤣

Nothing.

I'm also a bit overweight and have just been diagnosed with PCOS which is known to cause issues with weight. You never know what health issues someone is battling.

It makes me sad that some people are so judgmental as to assume so much from such a tiny snapshot of someone's life.

Nothing. I do worry when I see a very overweight child.

At 26 you can make your own decisions and if you’re happy and healthy then that’s great.

I don’t think anything as it’s such a common sight but when I see over weight children I feel sorry for them. I also wonder what they eat as my kids eat a lot and aren’t eating particularly healthily at the mo and are still thin ! Hopefully this doesn’t sound judgey.

The same as when I see any fat adult. Age is irrelevant if you're an adult as you are in charge of what you eat and how active you are unless you're on medication or have a disability etc.

I've never been fat and see no reason for anyone to be fat if they look after themselves.

i will take a point these friends aren’t overweight

and are saying this to you

Nothing

I only notice if there's not enough room for them to sit down on the bus next to someone but they try anyway and then I do feel a bit sorry for them and the person next to them that buses are so poorly designed

If I’m completely honest if it’s a child I feel sorry for them and think they have neglectful parents. If it’s an adult I would I’m afraid have a perception that they are lazy and have no self control if they are very overweight simply because it isn’t necessary. Slightly overweight, if just a couple of dress sizes then I wouldn’t think anything of it at all.

However I would never be anything but friendly and polite to anyone.

@jetbot nope some of them are overweight and very firmly in the "you can eat whatever you want whenever you want, calorie counting is bad and disorder eating" camp

easy to say

i wonder whether they actually think this when they’re looking themselves in the mirror

when their thighs are rubbing together in summer

when it’s time to hit the beach in a swimming costume

when they’re stuffed from eating second take out of the day

I think it's a shame that so many young people are overweight now, and that it's the most visible sign of how unnatural we have become - obesity doesn't exist in nature.
I find it aesthetically unappealing, but understand that most people are completely used to it. I live in a country where only rich people get fat. Poor people don't even have "problems with their glands" (like Brits in the 80s).

Depends how fat, really. Like a PP, I feel sad for people who're so fat they can't move properly. If they're young, I'm hopeful that whatever's making them fat gets sorted before it starts really wrecking their body.

I see a LOT of overweight but healthy-looking 20-somethings and, in the main, I think how great it is that they can get nice clothes and enjoy themselves with confidence. This is so much better than when I was that age, especially for women!

Clothes shops like Etam and Miss Selfridge only went up to size 16, which was a 12 in today's sizes. Bigger women got a choice of billowing florals from Evans Outsize (it was really called that!) and the Outsize section in catalogues - really undermining for larger customers who'd like to be fashionable but had no options. You couldn't even get decent paper patterns in bigger sizes to make your own.

I love that women can now dress their flesh however they choose, however much of it they've got. When you're young, fat can look very sexy and I do see women making the most of their generous curves 😎

What do you mean that the issue is the buses are poorly designed? @stripybobblehat

They're not wrong.

Food is meant to be a source of joy and sustenance. Obsessive calorie counting is definitely disordered thinking.

I'm a huge advocate of getting healthier, but weight loss is only part of that, and making it the focus risks replacing one kind of poor health with another. (Regular exercise is what will really help your body perform at its best, whether that means you look super-skinny or not.)

I’d feel it a shame and that they’d be happier and healthier and more attractive if they lost weight.

When I see an overweight adult, I think nothing . When I see an overweight child , I feel bad for them because that’s the fault of their grown ups.