To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

[AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment]

I'm very, very aware that this thread will probably get some nasty responses.

But I'm young (26), overweight and short. I try to dress nicely and I'm actively losing weight, but I'm just curious. What do you actually think when you see a fat person? I've never given it much thought before now as I've been fat my entire life, but what do you really think? Am I walking round oblivious to the fact I'm being judged all the time or do people just not care?

Either nothing or that being obese will wipe a fair few years off your life expectancy, increase your risk of infertility & drastically reduce your years of healthy life.

I honestly do not think I think anything. Unless the young person is morbidly obese and then I feel sympathy. I've struggled with my weight all my life and I know how painful it can be and what it does to self esteem so that would be the most I thought, if anything. I'm too usually worried about how I look to worry about how others look.

Absolutely nothing. As a PP said, I'm not emotionally invested in strangers enough to give a toss what anyone else looks like or ponder on it. The only time it might cross my mind is if someone is very morbidly obese and is obviously struggling in some manner in front of me eg. wheezing or red faced etc Then, I might think they ought to lose weight to help themselves as its affecting their health. But from an aesthetic point of view, I dont care.

I used to be quite overweight. Then I lost a lot after a surgery. Then pregnancies did a number on me and one two skip a few I've discovered I have a number of health conditions that prevented me from losing weight sufficiently... Insulin resistance, POTS. Late diagnosed ADHD too so was eating for stimulation without even realising it.

So when I do see someone younger than me who is carrying more weight like I was then I usually just think if you're ever trying to lose it, I hope you don't go through the rigamarole and bullying I put myself through with 6x week stressful gym sessions and on obscenely restrictive diet to only realise that I should have got some blood tests and made sure my body and its chemistry is working how it should.

I'm also overweight...I have been every size from an 8-18. At any size I've been, I'll say I don't particularly notice. There are lots of fat people around. It's not an unusual sight. If someone is extremely large...ie morbidly obese then yes I'd probably notice. I don't think anything negative about them. I feel sorry for them as I don't believe you can become extremely obese without having experienced some sort of trauma or difficulties of some sort. Weight is really complicated. People like to simplify it and place the blame on individuals for not having enough will power but we live in an obesogenic environment. It's extremely hard for some people.

That they eat too much of the wrong things and don’t move enough

and i feel sorry for them that their teens / twenties are being spent probably trying to lose weight rather than enjoying life more

This for me too.

I also think this I’m afraid.

I’m talking here about young women who are obese, in the size 22 or above range though, not those who are merely a bit overweight but can still buy clothes on most high street places

Also that they should lose weight now while young as I’m only 34 and it’s basically impossible already!

I've 2 bio kids and 2 step kids, all in their 20's. All normal weights until they hit 16ish and the hormones kicked in.

My two had the same diet, upbringing, activities etc as the other, - both inherited my large skeleton (tall, wide shoulders and hips, large wrist measurements, big hands and feet) one is very slim, the other carries a few extra stone - the slim one has a sedentary job, eats loads of crap, the other has a very physical job and lives on protein and veggies - I feel very sorry for him as I know it bothers him.

DP's two are short and stocky, one runs marathons and the other skies 6 days a week yet both struggle with their weight.

Just putting that out there for people who might judge young adults and their parents for being overweight.

It depends how overweight. Little bit over - don’t really notice. Morbidly obese - to be honest I just feel sorry for them and wonder how they got like that.

This, I really never understand why so many people will think that others are so focused on them and their doings.

Well I think 26 is young op but I am very old. It depends how overweight you are. I'm not sure that posters are all being true with their "I don't notice people's bodies", maybe not walking past you, what if they were eating a big fat chocolate cake in a cafe? I have a friend who always comments "they don't need that, do they". I am fairly fat myself and desperate to lose weight so no judgement from me. What I find really sad is fat families. We seem to see obesity as normal nowadays.

Tbh being overweight is so common it barely registers. I do notice when people are too overweight to walk properly as it just looks so uncomfortable and I do notice big children as it just seems such a shame

I, an obese person, conceived and birthed my healthy children first time I tried with each whereas two of my dear friends who have always been slim have struggled for years with the tragedy of infertility. It's a truly terrible thing to come on Mumsnet and blame people for their fertility problems. You don't know anything about a person's health by looking at them, and being slim is not a magic shield against ill health and misfortune in life. Don't go around pitying fat people in the street for the afflictions you've imagined on their behalf.

I confess to a judgemental thought this morning. As I was walking to work, I saw a young woman eating breakfast in McDonald’s. She was overweight. The judgemental thought popped into my head that, no wonder you are overweight. I did give myself a metaphorical slap and told myself not to be so judgy, but if I’m honest, that is a thought that popped into my head this morning.

I don’t ‘worry’ about adult strangers’ health though. I don’t know them well enough.

Fat children are a different matter. Medical conditions aside, something has gone wrong in their lives at an early age and I judge someone for that.

This

I really only notice very overweight people when they are wearing very unflattering clothes. I think everyone can dress nicely for their shape with a bit of thought, size 20 plus in shorts and sleeveless tops, particularly also with badly fitted bras for women, is unlikely to look good.

If I see an over weight person at the gym or on a run I think amazing, and really have a level of adoration.

Apart from this I don't really have a thought specifically about them in relation to their size- unless it's a child and then I feel compassion as I know the health and also social implications.

You said that you dress nicely so I’m likely to notice your clothes.

If one part of you is extremely large I might notice that. For example someone with a big bottom, I think we would all notice and think that it is large.
I wouldn’t think badly, just clock it. Same as big ears or a big nose.

Hasn't this one, or a variant, been done, just recently?

Don't care what you look like. Strangers' opinions shouldn't be important. Do what you're doing for you and your health.

If I'm in a cafe I'm there either to get some peace or meet someone- I don't care what other people are doing.

I hope they'll manage to lose it before they hit middle age. Some of the youngsters in my office are very overweight, they get the lift up two floors and it freaks me out. I'm twice their age and walk up four.

If I think anything, it's that I'm sorry they don't switch their focus from comfort eating too much food, and instead learn to love their bodies and health.

But that's the issue! It is common now.
The 1st time I went to the USA, I was so shocked at the size of the majority of people, particularly kids. They ate massive portions, drove everywhere. Fat was the norm. I remember thinking that there were few in the uk that size, and that generally, we weren't a nation of obese people.
That has changed in last 20 years, and fat is now normalised here