To ask what you think when you see a young, fat person?

[AugustSlippedAwayIntoAMoment]

I'm very, very aware that this thread will probably get some nasty responses.

But I'm young (26), overweight and short. I try to dress nicely and I'm actively losing weight, but I'm just curious. What do you actually think when you see a fat person? I've never given it much thought before now as I've been fat my entire life, but what do you really think? Am I walking round oblivious to the fact I'm being judged all the time or do people just not care?

If they were obese, I would feel sympathy. Food addiction is awful to live with and tough to beat.

If they were just overweight, I probably wouldn't think about their body shape at all.

Honestly? Very obese and I do judge them a bit. I appreciate that makes me sound like a monster, but I wonder how they allowed themself to get like that.

I also find myself wondering why we seem to have so many more overweight people of all ages in this country compared with other countries with similar economies.
The obvious exception being the USA of course which is even worse.

I’m obese so I know it is hard. I also know it usually takes problems to get here. I’d feel sorry for an obese young adult because I would suspect they have issues they are trying to deal with. Nothing more than sympathy though.

I was telling my adult kids this weekend how when I grew up in the 70s and 80s, we just didn’t snack between meals. We would never have had snacks as we were going round a museum or in the car. And it isn’t just that there is more processed food now. In the 70s we ate Smash and Angel Delight And other very processed food. But there was very little obesity. In my entire school I honestly only remember one overweight girl.

These days we all snack too much. My family and I included although we are all slim as we are pretty fit and active.

I see me as a younger person. The one who went on a crazy diet once with a friend, but who failed, passing out after day one and being scolded by her mum for thinking that eating 100 calories a day was a proper diet. The one whose friend “succeeded” to the point where we nearly lost her to Anorexia. The one who eventually found a sport that she loved, and lost weight naturally through training, who put loads of weight back on when she stopped, and who finally became comfortable in her own body in her mid- thirties.
I see others as people who haven’t yet got their confidence, and wish them the best with their own journey.

Honestly?

I don't think anything about another person's weight. Their body is absolutely their business. I don't judge, we have one overweight person in my immediate family (of about 30 people). It annoys me that she moans about it and does nothing in terms of lifestyle change.

If she didn't go on about it constantly, It wouldn't even register.

It's the moaning and inaction that irks.

I'm not interested!

I don't notice when my friends put on weight. I've seen a couple of friends over the Summer that I've not seen for a while and they've both been at pains to tell me that they've piled on weight, both a couple of stone apparently. Once they made a point of telling me, yes, I see it, I wouldn't have noticed if they hadn't told me though.

I don't judge people by their weight.

And I speak as a life-long 'skinny' person that's never particularly thought about my weight.

Maybe people that do think about their weight notice more.

How overweight are you?

Tbh 26 is not that young. I feel very sad when I see children and teens who are very overweight, as if you're overweight at this age it's going to be really difficult to lose it moving forward.

I was 'chubby' in my teens and a few stone overweight in my 20's but I lost it in my early 30's and have been able to maintain that for over 10 years. Life is so much easier when you're slimmer.

You asked for honesty. For me it is a cumulative thing, not based on seeing one person. I am not judging you individually but do tend to wonder why there are so many more fat people around these days. Then decide it is about all sorts of complex factors and that it is none of my business, really.

You'd have to be exceptionally obese for me to really notice, as normal levels of overweight are so common that it's the slim people that stand out.
My own brother died at 44 from obesity, so my reactions are very much affected by that.

It’s also what we’re eating, though. I remember eating meat or fish, potatoes and veg most nights. This was basically quite plain food and unless the meat was very fatty it was probably quite low in calories. Then came the freezer meals - frozen breaded chicken etc, and then the pour over/stir in sauces full of fat and sugar, and the cake treat was no longer a fairy cake with a bit of icing on but a huge cupcake with a ton of butter cream or a triple chocolate muffin. Pizzas, lasagnes etc - all high in calories.

Sliced bread has stuff added to it to make it last longer than eg a French baguette - fattening.

And then there’s what people are drinking. Not an ordinary tea or coffee but a coffee shop experience with additional cream or caramel or mini marshmallows on top.

And wine at home several times a week.

Add that to the ‘sit on your bum all day’ jobs and we’re in huge trouble.

We’ve got to consciously look at what we’re eating as well as portion control. Our dinner plates are massive compared to what they were in the 60s. All parents need to get their heads round the problem when they start weaning children. No child needs juice, for example. My HV drilled that into me, and I’m glad she did. I never bought it until DS1 was at school, and then it was limited. Others are buying it for 6 month old babies - why?

I don’t really think anything. I see so many overweight people nowadays, I think I’ve tuned out.

The only time recently that i’ve judged, was in a Pret in a big city.
2 morbidly obese girls, I’d say early 20s, were obviously meeting up. They looked like they wore their size like a badge of honour. They must’ve been size 30+.
That shocks and horrifies me that anyone can tell themselves that that size is somehow a good positive thing. I worry for them.

I don't judge or think anything negative but I do comment to myself and sometimes my (old) peer group that young people are on the whole overweight or fat these days and then we talk about poverty and the evil
food industry

If it's a male I have no interest. If it's a woman I look to see if she has lipoedema like me.

If I am sitting watching the world go by, I do sometimes get struck by noticing what a fat society we are, and a worry when the families go by, ‘normally fat’ mum and dad, wouldn’t usually register, but the v overweight kid…. But it makes me angry about the food and advertising industries, our lifestyles , how we are lured to view low quality foods as treats, told how we need these treats, because..’life’ , the pressures that lead us to believe this , and so on.

I don’t really think about individuals who are fat anymore than any other feature about them.

I work with young people, have done for 20 years. You can realy see it changing over 20 years. I see it a lot.

I always think "it's your parents fault, they let you get like this". I think about how awful it might be for them to change that later on in life when thats how they have been taught to live.

I feel sorry for them when its extremely hot out doors and wonder how uncomfortable they must be in the heat.
I feel sorry that they get made fun of by their peers and other adults.

Honestly ? Like others I’d feel sorry for them and as part of the bigger picture I find it really worrying just how many people are obese.

I see a lot of overweight parents with overweight children too so there’s clearly an element of it being learned/passed on there too.

I feel bad for young people who are very overweight because I know it must make their lives more challenging, and life is challenging enough! I feel lucky that I come from a line of pretty slim people and I have a quick metabolism. I get hungry, but don't really have that "food noise" I have read others discussing. It sounds tough.

In all honesty OP, well speaking for myself and many many other non-judgemental people, we think nothing at all. Unless you have bright coloured hair or clothes that stand out.

You aren't trying to tell me that people now have more health issues than people in the 70s and 80s.

Why do you think that's not possible? Our lifestyles and environment have changed massively in the last fifty years - it's downright ignorant to say that doesn't have an impact on our bodies.

I have a hormone imbalance that impacts my ability to lose weight. It has nothing to do with my diet or go much exercise I do - which is plenty as I'm on my meet walking dogs for six hours most days 🙄

I never judged a person on weight gain or reduction and I'm glad because since last year I suffer with pcos and insulin resistance and struggle to lose weight while eating a balanced diet.

I feel sad for the health problems that will await them unless they can lose the weight and adopt a healthier diet, the latter being harder and harder to access these days.