Did women used to enjoy being catcalled?

[Gofastboatsmojito]

Hi,

Filtering a recent discussion with my stepmum I just wanted to survey the 55+ year olds of mumsnet to check whether I'm way off.

She is absolutely insistent that in her youth women (most? all?) enjoyed being whistled or shouted appreciatively at when waking past a building site.

She thinks women's perception of this has changed in the last 20 years. All her friends enjoyed it in the 70s and 80s apparently.

For context she has been the subject of male violence including sexual violence and does not equate the two.

I find it hard to believe everyone enjoyed it and assume that women felt a lot less able to say they didn't like it due to fear of being called frigid, uptight etc.

I'm sure the answer might lie somewhere between the two extremes but just wondering what an AIBU poll might say.

V grateful if women of age 55+ only vote

YABU = in my youth the majority of women I knew considered a wolf whistle as a cheeky but welcome compliment

YANBU = I didn't enjoy this even in the 70s

Looking around for who said it is "looking flattered" in what universe? If somebody bothers me in public, I certainly want to check out what he looks like in case he takes it further and I need to report him. Bothering women like that is not "flirting" either. It's strictly for assholes.

You are being raked over the coals for these posts because they are ludicrous. You are wilfully blind to how repulsive such behaviour is.

😄

My standard response to being told to smile or cheer up; "I just found out I have six months to live."
You should see their faces!

I’m finding it hard to understand that there were parents who would not react with rage when their teenage daughters were harassed.

I was never quite sure what my mum thought about my feminism, until when I was 18 she pointed out an item in a local paper, a young woman had broken a finger punching a man who tried to jump her and her friend in an alley, and scared him off. She said she’d told everyone at work “that’s what my daughter would have done”. ❤

Shouldn't you be doing your homework, dear?

Never bothered me, but I’m old 😀

I was often catcalled in my teens and early 20s and I would honestly just roll my eyes and wondered how they had passed their driving test. Countless times, had my bottom pinched or patted on a night out in spite of my fuck off face. I didn't regard it as sexual assault but it was unwelcome and it felt predatory. It was assault but social conditioning meant you didn't see it as such. One night, on the dance floor, a guy grabbed my front and I punched him in the face (there was blood). I think a switch flipped that night. I'm not far off 50.

My mum remembers my brother when he was just a small child telling off the builders who had cat-called her.

TBH, she enjoyed it, but I never wanted unwanted attention and ignored them.

DD2 tells them off herself

DD1 tells me, then I go find them and tell them off.

57 - I used to find it flattering

Countless times, had my bottom pinched or patted on a night out

Same here. By women.

I’m male. Times have changed.

😂

I hated it. Absolutely hated it. Having grown men usually twice your age hang out a window whistling and shouting 'don't get many of them to the pound love' . How flattering.

100% this. ^

Disgusting perverts aren't they? Probably married as well. Their poor wives.

I pray that none of these pigs have daughters.

As with any compliment, it’s all in the delivery: I used to find a friendly, cheeky whistle and ‘alright darlin’ a bit of fun, flattering, and used to make me laugh if it was done in the spirit of banter. BUT, some blokes did stray the wrong side of having a laugh, into being a bit creepy. In particular, I used to hate when I first moved to London and encountered many new cultures, and some blokes would make this noise like you do to get a cat to come and eat its dinner. That was totally creepy. And in writing that, I’ve just realised….is that where the expression cat calling comes from?!

Never bothered me, certainly never felt intimidated. Sometimes it would put a little spring in my step. Saying that it seemed to happen to me a lot less than other women, if the posts on MN are anything to go by.

I didn’t mind it, didn’t offend me. I’m not 35 overweight mum of 4 and it never happens now and I miss it tbh think I must be really ugly now hasn’t happened in years 😂

Me too 😄

I certainly never found it intimidating or uncomfortable.

My mum is 80 and she says she was brought up to believe it should be taken as a compliment.

I'm 37, it hasn't happened to me often but when it did I often made me feel vulnerable.

In my 40's and yes I liked it, it was an ego boost walking past, and never had any disgusting comments, so was always secretly pleased

It depends how it was done. I remember being in Italy and a man walked past, did a double take and said “Bella” to me with that Italian look and I have to say, that hit a little different to “nice tits love” in a Bristol accent (where I was living at the time).
I was also once serenaded in a tube station to “that loving feeling” by a group of men who just sang to me and then all got onto a separate tube carriage.
So context is there for me. I did feel flattered in those situations and if I got a wolf whistle but nothing else.
what is unpleasant (to me) is gross sexual comments that seem designed to make women feel vulnerable.

You can see votes here.
Almost 50% finds it flattering.
But no.
I was soooo wrong to observe that some women were flattered.

I suggest you take a step back and understand that different people do have different preferences about social interactions.
Many people take light flirting as a fun interaction, not as a sexuall assult ffs.

I hope your look trumps your serious lack of intelligence love ;)

God! You’ve made me remember when I was a child and my father was driving the family somewhere he’d lift his finger off the wheel to point at ‘crumpet’ walking along. The ‘crumpet’ would never have known about it, but looking back I wonder how it made my mother feel. In fact he other hand Joan Bakewell was known as ‘the thinking man’s crumpet’ at that time.

It was always when I was young. Mostly from building sites. WTF
Horrible