Is private at primary actually worth it ?

[nottoruffle]

I'm not here to ruffle feathers at all. I'm trying to decide what to do with my kids and whether private at primary is the thing for our family.

It's bloody expensive.

Is it worth it, is the million dollar question.

What kind of child tends to flourish at this type of school ? Will they be pushed too hard? or will they have more support as there are fewer pupils than in a states school ?

I'm looking at 3-18 co ed schools as I have a boy and a girl.

Any experience welcome.

No, of course not.

It will depend on your area and what is available. There is no generic answer.

There is gigantic variation between one state school and another.
There is gigantic variation between one private school and another.

My daughter has been private since 3. We love the school and she’s been very happy there, but would I do it again for primary? No. But definitely for senior school.

My friend's child (at 4yo) was allocated to a primary in an area nationally notorious for rioting, racism and crime. It was 100% worth if for her to send him private. There is no generic answer and each situation needs to be considered individually.

No of course it isn’t. But in certain social circles parents feel that they have to go down this route

State till eight sweetie 👌

Ok what are the disadvantages, apart from paying for it ?

Ignorant post.

My friend's child (at 4yo) was allocated to a primary in an area nationally notorious for rioting, racism and crime. It was 100% worth if for her to send him private. There is no generic answer and each situation needs to be considered individually.

I think often people say it’s worth it for two reasons (1) extracurricular and (2) progression to secondary.

I went to private all-through from when I was 7, and siblings from 4. My son is at state primary. His state primary has lots of clubs, wraparound. Can do extra art and sport at school. I struggle to think of anything except swimming and maybe music that would be different for the £25k at private school (and longer holidays). We will tutor in y4/5 (we are in London) and see where we are financially for 11+ entry.

Out of interest - what is this area? And how did the ‘rioting’ affect the primary school? And how often are these ‘riots’?

Depends on a lot of things but for us the answer was definitely no for the following reasons
Could save money
Got a place in a good State Primary
Kids were much more streetwise and mature at 11 than a lot of their peers who had been at prep
No knowledge gap and integrated fine socially as well
Kids had a wider range of friends, many of whom they kept in touch with through school and DD actually reconnected with quite a few at 6th form college.
State Primary until Y7 was certainly the right decision for us

It's worth it if you want the social status and don't mind having a more limited social experience for your child.

Educationally it is usually completely pointless (this applies right through for the majority of kids).

I think that is the major drawback. Short of where a child has special needs, there are strong social reasons not to go state, or a child is truly exceptionally gifted in something like music or sport, the sorts of things learned in primary school are ultimately the same things that reasonably educated, involved, and consistent parents can support at home and bolster with extracurriculars. Paying tens of thousands of pounds for it seems overkill. That changes at secondary, and secondary is also where you’re more likely to encounter serious challenging behaviour, bullying, and lack of pastoral care that does make a difference and which private can often provide better.

You mean to say you think it unlikely that a family who can afford private education lives in Harehills? Because it happens all the time. 😜

MY friend lives in Knightsbridge and her son got allocated a place in Jaywick. Fummin she was.

It depends on the primary.

I was lucky enough to get mine into one of the best ranked state primaries in the country so there was no point in paying for a private school. Had they had to go to the CofE village school I'd have had them in the private sector without a second thought.

I can only speak for my children, but for us, definitely. My daughter is flying in school, well exceeding expectations in all subjects and being encouraged to explore topics independently and present findings to her teachers. That's not to say that she wouldn't have done well at the state primary school, but not AS well.
Also, it's not just about academics. There seems to be a higher expectation of all the children, there are masterclasses from subject experts, and more flexibility around extending the children's learning. The sport and extra-curricular offerings are amazing too, for all years, even from reception.

It can be.

The smaller class sizes can make a difference in themselves. There are (generally) better resources (more books, materials, onsite facilities, sports provision and specialist teaching). Often more co-curricular activities (staff run clubs, usually free; external providers charged separately).

Some state schools will offer more than others; some private schools less. You need to see what your local offerings are like.

You also need to think about what you value in an education. The results at the end of it? Or what the journey is like getting to that point?

Also the security of your finances - and whether you're of the view that "as we have it now, we'll spend it now", or whether you are confident that if you save/invest, it will still be there if/when the time comes.

Final thought, as the Jesuits said "give me the boy until he is seven, and I will show you the man" - some think that the earlier years, during which attitudes to learning are being formed, are the crucial part. Others give greater weight to the public exam years at the other end.

There's no right answer.

Probably useful for some children with SEN if the private school specialises and can offer them the best support. Other than that, I really don’t see any reason for it. Most state primaries are brilliant in my experience. Secondary schools are the issue in this country- teacher shortages, for example, are only affecting secondary education because no one wants to teach teenagers.

For us, my child started in state school but was very shy, doing ok with school work but was basically lost in the background of children with SEN and boisterous behaviour. Often the classes were doubled up for certain activities so nearly 60 kids and he was becoming less and less confident but as he wasn’t causing an issues the teachers did t see it as a problem.
We moved to private and his confidence has soared and attitude to school work is so much better. He just needed the time to be given a small amount of encouragement and hes a different person. So happy we moved, nothing to do with social circles for us but every child is different.

It totally depends on the child and on the (private) school, and also on what the best hope you have for a state primary if you don't go private.

• not all private schools are automatically better than all state schools. Look carefully at the schools.
• For some private primaries, the only real benefit they offer is keeping your children away from poor children. You may or may not value that. Having had classmates from a wider variery of socioeconomic backgrounds can be an advantage.
• Some state primaries are absolutely brilliant.
• Some private schools literally only have decent results because they only accept pupils who are going to do well whatever happens, and they don't add much real value. It's not easy to identify which these are.
• For ages 4-7 the most important factor influencing outcomes is NOT the school, but how much engagement the child gets with reading and number practice outside of school with their parents, plus number of books in the house and the amount of time the child sees their parents choosing to read for pleasure (not just reading bedtime stories or doing school reading practice). A child who gets all these things will thrive even at a not particularly great school. A child who doesn't get these things won't do well no matter how good the school is.
• Increasingly starting from y4 and ever more significantly in y5 and y6 many state schools have to focus on getting all the below-average students up to a minimum-acceptable standard for SATS. This can mean able pupils get REALLY bored

Unless the state option is genuinely terrible, I would normally advise to stick with state for at least yR-y2 and potentially for as long as it suits the child stay put for y3 and y4 as well but would move to a private at y5 at the latest if you are in a position to do so and have access to a good quality private that is genuinely adding value.

My DC did state primary and independent secondary. The primary was lovely, he wouldn't have gained anything more from the independent prep (my choices might have been different if the primary wasn't so good).
If I was doing it again though I probably would have moved him at year 6 rather than 7, to avoid all the SATS palaver.

Maybe.
probably not for the “ way ahead thriving what ever “ kid or the “ definitely needs extra help “

but for the quiet “ not quite hitting what they could achieve “ or for a boy to thrive in traditionally “ girly “ areas eg you’re a flute playing boy or boy who sings in a mixed school you’ll end up fighting for yourself in a really girl dominated world - some boys are fine , others not - in an all boys prep they are surrounded by boys that may do the same. My lad didn’t sing at primary but was a chorister for instance and that “ tribe “ sustained him but the alternative would be a move to prep at year 5 ( he’s grown up and still singing )

This. There is no answer to your question, OP. Our catchment primary is excellent (one of the reasons we chose to live here). My kids are really happy there and are thriving. The majority of kids walk or cycle to school, it has a real community feel and being there means we have all made lots of friends locally that we wouldn’t have met if they had gone to any of the private schools near us.

My friends who have sent their kids to private school for primary have done so because their local primary schools have various issues (being oversubscribed with too many kids for the space, limited outdoor space, lack of wraparound care, behavioural issues…). They saw a clear benefit of private school at primary age. We didn’t.

Yes, it's social aspirationalism and anxiety.

We never thought it was and started ours in state primary. However due to some mild SEN issues with our younger child we decided to move both into private. I simply couldn’t believe the difference in just a few months. Both happier, more confident, more rounded children. It’s very noticeable when you compare them to their peers. It wasn’t what we planned due to the cost but now I would hate to move them back into state as the difference has been huge.