Is private at primary actually worth it ?

[nottoruffle]

I'm not here to ruffle feathers at all. I'm trying to decide what to do with my kids and whether private at primary is the thing for our family.

It's bloody expensive.

Is it worth it, is the million dollar question.

What kind of child tends to flourish at this type of school ? Will they be pushed too hard? or will they have more support as there are fewer pupils than in a states school ?

I'm looking at 3-18 co ed schools as I have a boy and a girl.

Any experience welcome.

That may have something to do with the fact that private school primaries in grammar areas literally have the specific purpose to teach children to pass the 11+.

Whereas state primaries are not allowed to prepare their children for it.

I can only talk about my child:

July born boy, speech issues, motor skill issues (suspected dyspraxia).

We moved back from abroad and missed the cut off of for applications so were given a poorly performing school on the other side of the borough.

He is in a private primary which a learning support unit in house that does 1:1 intervention with him (included in fees). He is shy and often overlooked in groups but the school do loads to share out opportunities to shine- it’s not just the same few children chosen for everything.

His confidence has grown and he’s made great progress and is celebrated for what
he can do and his achievements which might not be the same as everyone else. He’s in a class of 18 with a teacher, class TA and then additional support staff as needed. He wouldn’t get this in a state school.

It’s absolutely worth it for us, and for him.

The schools are often much smaller so fewer friends.

Even the big privates near us have tiny year groups in the primary stage.

Educationally pointless and fewer friends.

Thats quite rude. Maybe scissors do seem like a small matter but I was a class teacher in a london state primary before having children and it was what made me keen to put my own children in private.
The time I spent after school
mixing up paint by diluting it with water to make it go further, handing out scissors and glue “one between two”. Painful! It may seem silly to you as an adult but the silly extra treat type things are great for motivating children.
And wanting the kids to have more attention and more sports and better extra curricular isnt lacking in common sense. The opposite surely!

What is silly is the assertion on that no state school has enough scissors

The post would have been more valid if there was a recognition that some schools struggle to fund all the items but to say that no school has enough just isn't true

I was a primary governor and knowing that it isn't the case for one school negates the arguement. Equally invalid is the assertion that all parent complaints are listened to at private schools, I know from my own friendship group that this isn't true and I've read threads on here about many issues parents have.

Million dollar question I suppose, as every child is different as is every school my most recent experience is through my dgd’s the oldest is eight her school built about five years ago, has many great facilities really lovely outside play space & fields for sports/Forest school,
she is in a class of 26 working at GD across all subjects she & few of her classmates get taken out of class once a week for more difficult work in maths & English, they have a coding club/science/chess/cooking clubs after school they also have visits from experts in various subjects last term an archeologist as they had been studying ancient Egypt & others at least once a term.
my dgd is quiet shy & not very confident, the teachers have really helped her blossom.
my youngest dgd starts next week a class of 24 I’m sure she will have the same opportunities as her sister & most of all it’s a caring & nuturing environment with committed excellent teaching staff, so that’s my small window into a state primary school, good luck with whatever choice you make OP

This is a really helpful post. We are in same dilemma at the moment. We are in a good area with good state options, yet many of our nursery peers / parents friends are still going private.

the facilities at private are great. My husband feels there are other advantages such as growing confidence , communication etc. is it worth it , they would enter at reception

I don't see the point of this kind of thread or what people are supposed to advise. Every state school and every private school are different.

All that happens is, people come on with THEIR personal anecdotes about their child in a particular independent school, or state school. But what relevance is that?

You know the schools in question OP. Go and look at them - make a decision. Nobody on here has a clue.

I moved my daughter from State to private after 3 years and she flourished once out of the crowd control, limited resource environment. Maths and English both took a battering during that period. However I also moved her at a point when paying the fees became very easy. I probably could have been more on top of how she was doing - I was already paying for some holiday science workshops. had she stayed in state I would have paid for additional tuition and academic courses etc during holidays.

We 100% thought it was worth it, and if anything more so than for secondary. They have smaller class sizes, more support, additional resources and lots of extra options in music, art and sport.

My children were nurtured, loved and encouraged whilst being shown how to be kind, responsible and have fun. They were taught how to learn, self study and came out with a curiosity and a self belief that has set them up for life.

They may have had all this anyway who knows, but for us (and I appreciate we are extremely lucky) it was worth every penny.

Yes oh Hun don't you DARE send those sweeties to state school don't you realise the perfidious influence of the peasants starts long before age 11 😱 the peasant children will mock them for their sauvington blanc and they will start asking for fruit shoots

I suppose it depends on the kid and school. I cannot say whether it’s worth it as mine is only in Grade 1 now but I chose private as the classes are very small vs our public and the student : teacher ratio of 6-7:1 appeals to me. In the class there are 12 kids; when my kid was in bigger group of kids (20ish) he struggled and for us was a struggle to get him to school. Now he is very happy. There’s no known SEN issues (we have spoked to previous teachers, doctor, etc and there were no concerns).
It also helps to get to know the families from young age.

No, it's definitely not worth it for primary.

And I'm not entirely sure it's worth it for secondary, I think it's more about parental involvement.

Me and my siblings went state school and are all straight As/Oxbridge. My cousin's went to a very expensive private school and did similarly. One of them wasn't typically bright - but their parents pushed them massively & still succeeded.

My parents pushed us at state school. I genuinely think my cousin's would have done as well at our state schools with the parents they had

We are debating this now and our main reasons are

1. Avoiding the kids who'll have really poor behaviours
2. Getting a school that has a lot of opportunities for music and things like a band. If not many kids at the school play an instrument than there can't be any kind of bands as there won't be enough numbers. Far more likely to get these sort of numbers at organge school.
3. Potential acceleration, so moving a bright kid up a year.

If private schools really are more likely to accelerate a child who is very bright than state, then that's the main reason I want to send my children (who are below school age at the moment).

We are looking to move and if we can afford an area where I'm confident the state primary is good then state might be easier. But affording this is tricky for us, as is affording a private primary.

There are definitely state schools and state schools though.

Some state schools are so good their results outperform private schools. Some are terrible. So I think it probably matters to send them to a decent school - be it private or state

I work in prep and have a wide experience of lots of educational.setings. in my opinion, you get massive value added for the primary years compared to secondary. I would prioritise that always. However, all private schools are not equal (as state schools also vary). Look for somewhere with good educational standards where there is a wide extra curricular offering. Sport and broader experiences are much of what you are paying for. I would advise being discerning, as the vat issue will probably mean that independents need to become.less picky which can affect classroom.dynamics.
My final.point would.be although there may be some benefits to private education, in my opinion they rarely exceed the benefits of engaged, happy parents with time for their children. Also, I personally would not want to give up.nice holidays and other family experiences. If a private education means missing out on all this, I would go state.

There are definitely state schools and state schools though.

^

This.

I think it’s much easier to move into private from state at secondary than the other way round. So I think if you’re starting at 3 you have to be pretty confident you’re going to be in a position to stay in private all the way through which is a massive financial commitment

I wouldn’t be so sure that accelerating a child to the year above because they’re bright is a good thing or desirable tbh.

You sometimes see kids that have been in that position where intellectually they’re coping with the work but socially they are behind their peers

development is more than just academic.

My DC has been all the way through private primary. We have a very good village primary on the doorstep and my intention was the village primary but there was very little wraparound care available so she attends the private school I work at.

It has cost a bomb but she’s had opportunities in sport, music, drama and academics that I know the primary couldn’t provide. DD is bright and I have no doubt she’d have done well at the primary but she’s definitely thriving.

She has confidence, a great work ethic and a curiosity about the world. I think her primary has helped prepare her for the move to secondary (wherever she goes). She really enjoys school and it has shaped her. For me, it has been worth it.

Private from 2, here. Absolutely worth it.

Not remotely. Set up a savings account for you child, and put the money in you've saved in fees.

I think it really depends on the child and the school. We are overseas so its not the same. But i do think class size makes a difference. We put DS in a private preschool with a class size of 30 (3 teachers) and he was completely overwhelmed, disruptive, cried alot, became withdrawn and we ended up taking him out. He told us it was too noisy and kept putting his hands over his ears. We put him into another private preshcool with max 12 kids in a class, 2 teachers and he was like a different kid. When kids are happy they thrive, I really believe that. I will add that DS recently had an assessment for autism so potentially may have some SEN issues.
We have now finally moved him to another private preschool (goes all the way through to secondary). 18 kids in a class, 2 teachers, 1 assistant. The school has occupational therapists, psychologists, pastoral care, SEN department on site. Facilities include - own forest on site (1 day a week they spend the morning there), vegetable garden, arts centre, stem centre, 8 sports hall, a gym, a pool, and over 100 after school clubs. I think at preschool age this isn't relevant. But for someone with a kid who is presenting as potentially being ND/mild SEN, I know how important continuity is to him and being able to participate in an activity at a site he is familiar with will be alot easier than taking him somewhere else. He struggles with change.
I don find at this private school the comms between parents and teachers is brilliant and I find that really helpful.

That said, it is costing us a fortune and I don't know if we would have made the same decision if we had had 2 kids. But it felt like the right thing to do for now.

I went to state school all the way through, got top grades. Teachers said I could do any career, ended up doing the career I always wanted. But I have always lacked confidence and was incredibly shy as a child/young adult. It's something I was able to overcome as I got older but I often wondered if I'd gone to private school would I have been the same. Everyone I know who went to private school had an innate sense of self confidence, regardless of their academic ability and I always felt envious of them. I think bright kids will do well in most schools.

Our DD goes to a London borders Indie day school. There is a focus on polishing each child’s achievements and talents, rather than the more classic pushy prep vibes, which can be purely results driven and I suspect would be tough for a very average child. Because scholarships for secondary privates are given for: art, music, drama, sports and academic, we were looking for somewhere that could demonstrate a broad variety of outcomes (grammar & private) on their leavers destinations/offers list. It’s quite hard to know exactly where your little one’s talents lay early on, so any setting that has a reputation for nurturing each kid - will probably be brilliant at drawing out those skills. Some parents favour through schools, that would take kids from 5 years old to end of secondary, but we decided against this. Good luck OP, if money isn’t a factor - we’ve been very pleased with our choice and have seen our child flourish. One thing to consider is the rise in fees, 8% every year at our setting, obviously the well publicised VAT, plus trips, tonnes of uniform and affording wrap care for the long holidays, it all adds up we’ve found…

Started DC1 in Yr4, we were also able to hold him back a year. DC1 is dyslexic and had gotten lost in the state school system. It was definitely worth it for him, he stayed until he got his GCSE's.
Also sent DC2 from reception and shouldn't have bothered, happy with him at private secondary. Private for primary was a waste of money as he would have fine in any primary school. Was guilted into it by family who said it wouldn't be fair to send one private and not the other.