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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be in love with my adoptive brother?

478 replies

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 05/09/2024 13:33

Sorry for the clickbait title - this is actually just a fun thread.

Take the plot of a book and turn it into a AIBU

I'll start.

AIBU to want to marry my adoptive brother that my dad found somewhere and instead of just doing it, acting like a total bitch to him and everyone else even after I'd died?

OP posts:
Cattery · 06/09/2024 12:50

@DramaLlamaBangBang See what your wife thinks

drudgewithagrudge · 06/09/2024 12:53

AIBU to resent the amount of time my husband spends with his friend. They shared lodgings before our marriage and my DH worships him although he gets involved with dangerous situations with his bestie and often disappears for days on end with him. At the moment they are on their way to Switzerland and I have a bad feeling that things won't go well.
Should I LTB ? Friends hint that there is something "strange" about their relationship.

Jein · 06/09/2024 13:29

I'm a housekeeper and my employers are lovely but sometimes quite thoughtless. They recently brought home a stray bear and I'm now expected to help look after it. The bear is sweet but so annoying. It's not house trained, constantly breaks things and leaves sticky pawprints everywhere. WIBU to ask for a pay rise?

SleepGoalsJumped · 06/09/2024 13:36

Last year my older cousin (F35ish) and I (F22ish) spent some time travelling in Italy and while we were there I met a young man, G, (M26ish) who I got to know quite well. Although he's not from an educated (or particularly monied) family he has poetry in his soul. We did exchange one rather passionate kiss in a poppy field but nothing else happened.
Back in England I am rather being railroaded towards marrying this other man, C, (M28ish) who I've known forever - his parents and mine were friends, he has rather a large fortune and it's been expected that we'll marry practically since we were babies. He does love me very much but he has absolutely zero poetry in his soul.
I've just heard that G and his father are going to be moving into our village and I will be seeing more of him. Should I keep my feelings under wraps and marry C like I am supposed to, or should I explore where things go with G?

Tragicroundabout · 06/09/2024 13:39

drudgewithagrudge · 06/09/2024 12:53

AIBU to resent the amount of time my husband spends with his friend. They shared lodgings before our marriage and my DH worships him although he gets involved with dangerous situations with his bestie and often disappears for days on end with him. At the moment they are on their way to Switzerland and I have a bad feeling that things won't go well.
Should I LTB ? Friends hint that there is something "strange" about their relationship.

Switzerland is beautiful - lovely waterfalls apparently. I wouldn't worry too much, I expect this will resolve itself very soon (for a couple of years at least).

SnakesAndArrows · 06/09/2024 14:01

Miffylou · 06/09/2024 11:27

My life is crap. My younger brother died. My boarding school was full of phonies so I left. I love my little sister but my parents drive me mad and even my older brother is a phony now. It seems to me that everyone is a phony. AIBU?

Phoebe isn’t a phoney though, is she? So there is that.

DramaLlamaBangBang · 06/09/2024 14:05

Cattery · 06/09/2024 12:50

@DramaLlamaBangBang See what your wife thinks

Oh shes measuring up her coronation robes already. She said I shouldn't worry about killing my best mate and his kid.

Aria999 · 06/09/2024 14:06

Perhaps because being time-poor and wanting a look at aibu without topics that aren't aibu content! For example, this topic s more chat forum...

And yet instead of going 'oh it's not real' and closing/ hiding the thread right away you choose to use more precious time posting.... twice....

Miffylou · 06/09/2024 14:16

SnakesAndArrows · 06/09/2024 14:01

Phoebe isn’t a phoney though, is she? So there is that.

I had a feeling that 'phony' didn’t look right!

But I have heard disturbing theories about that relationship…

NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/09/2024 14:39

I am an important, well respected professional from a good family, fully conversant with all modern theories of medicine, mathematics, science and chemistry. I'm sort of seeing somebody, but I think they might find the whole having children thing a bit much, as they're a bit delicate and, tbh, they're kind of part of the family already, so I reckon it's probably a good idea to wait a few more years before marrying.

I really, really wanted to have a child of my own straight away without somebody else getting in the way or telling me what to do, so I used my extensive scientific and medical knowledge and after considerable time, money and many delicate procedures, now have a strapping son.

The trouble is, he doesn't look like me at all. His body is perfect, his hair is lustrous black and flowing, his teeth perfectly pearly white, but he is more of a Vibrant winter than my Fresh Spring and although he should be my beautiful, perfect boy, his yellow skin, black lips and dun eyes disgust me and I wish I'd never chosen to go ahead as a single parent. And, tbh, I'm feeling pretty rough after the last couple of years of work so couldn't possibly manage all the feeding, changing, teaching and late nights that come with having a kid anyway. My Mum would have done it, but she passed away when I was 17 and my Dad's getting on a bit and not in the best of health himself.

I met one of my mates outside the village pub and he's worried about me, so has offered to stay for a while and look after me until I get better. He doesn't know about my son, as when I was heading for the pub, he got out and I haven't seen him since.

AIBU to refuse to give the kid my name and go completely NC?

Apologies if I've missed something, English isn't my first language.

Cattyisbatty · 06/09/2024 14:47

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 05/09/2024 14:03

I feel like everyone who read this was way too young to be reading it 😄

Flowers in the Attic? I was about13/14 when I read it. I don’t think I fully ‘got it’.

HideousKinky · 06/09/2024 14:53

Not long ago my DF died and now my DM has married his brother, with unseemly haste in my opinion.

I feel like I'm the only one who wants to give my Dad a decent period of mourning, everyone else is "Yay - a wedding!" I never liked my uncle much anyway, so thinking of him & my DM in bed together makes me feel quite nauseous - I mean it's incest surely??

So now my Dad's ghost has appeared and told me my uncle actually murdered him 😱! What's more he wants me to kill my uncle in revenge.

AIBU to do as he asks? And how should I hide what I'm planning from DM & Uncle? Should I pretend to be a bit bonkers and how will this affect my relationship with the girl I've been seeing?

Valeriekat · 06/09/2024 15:04

ThePrologue · 06/09/2024 09:01

Perhaps because being time-poor and wanting a look at aibu without topics that aren't aibu content! For example, this topic s more chat forum...
And hormone surges!

Ad yet you are still reading it!

AmiablePedant · 06/09/2024 15:24

drudgewithagrudge · 06/09/2024 12:53

AIBU to resent the amount of time my husband spends with his friend. They shared lodgings before our marriage and my DH worships him although he gets involved with dangerous situations with his bestie and often disappears for days on end with him. At the moment they are on their way to Switzerland and I have a bad feeling that things won't go well.
Should I LTB ? Friends hint that there is something "strange" about their relationship.

But you do know about husband's friend's cocaine habit, don't you? Is your husband enabling?

ObelixtheGaul · 06/09/2024 17:28

ItsTheTattiesMrsCulfeathers · 06/09/2024 10:56

My 13¾-year-old is driving me up the wall. Instead of helping with the power cut or doing anything around the house, he’s too busy with his “deep” poetry and moaning about his acne and his girlfriend who’s off on holiday.

DH and I are struggling to keep things together, but DS is busy being a rebel with his red socks and brooding about his love life.

AIBU to think he should stop being so self-absorbed and actually do something useful? Or should I just leave him to his teenage melodrama?

Thoughts?

You should have called him 'Brett'.

AgathaMystery · 06/09/2024 17:37

ObelixtheGaul · 06/09/2024 17:28

You should have called him 'Brett'.

Best reply. Ever.

AIBU… DH is massively rich and handsome and has a really niche job that would be totally outing but let’s say it’s to do with horses but not dressage (come dancing for horses he calls it) or racing. He’s away all the time and I think is probably shagging about on the European circuit.

His rival is basically a pauper gypsy (not sure if that is the technical term but he is what he is). Anyway I fancy him like mad and he’s cracking in bed.

WIBU to leave my mega rich smokin’ hot DH for his enemy who is quite short, has a limp, is poor but really good in bed and handy with horses? The main thing holding me back is I’ve got a washing up machine and a nanny and a housekeeper and a gardener here. I think if I leave DH I might have to do my own laundry & stuff. Also, my step kids would have Birmingham accents.

LilySLE · 06/09/2024 17:49

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 05/09/2024 14:17

AIBU to be annoyed at the school?

DS absolutely loves his food and does have a tendency to over eat. We are trying to monitor his intake as his weight has become a bit of a concern. Lately we've noticed he's been stealing food but have tried to combat this by explaining healthier choices to him and have assured him that if he's hungry he can still have food but he needs to ask one of us so we can help him make a choice that is better for his body.

Anyway, I received a phone call from the headteacher today who said that unfortunately he snuck into the headteacher's office, stole a slice of her chocolate cake and ate it. Obviously I'm furious at DS but the headteacher said that she has already delt with it and that they have had a special assembly about stealing. At first I thought this was fir enough but then she explained that she made DS sit at the front of the hall and then forced him to eat an entire chocolate cake in front of the whole school while they all just sat there and watched him. He did manage to eat the whole thing but the headteacher seemed a bit annoyed about this and mentioned that she smashed the empty plate over his head?

AIBU to think this is a bit strange of the school? would you say anything?

I think it’s revolting

MustWeDoThis · 06/09/2024 17:54

MidYearDiary · 05/09/2024 14:01

AIBU to conceal my four blonde children in my evil disinheriting parents' giant attic, now that their father/my husband (AKA my half-uncle who groomed me) has died, inconveniently leaving me with nothing, so I need to pretend the marriage was childless in order to get my father to put me back into his will? I mean, someone suggested I just get a job, but that doesn't sound very appealing, right? And I should just deal with my mum horsewhipping the teenagers and tarring my daughter's hair, because, after all, her house her rules?

Sounds a bit flowery to me.

LilySLE · 06/09/2024 17:55

BabaYetu · 05/09/2024 14:58

Should I go NC with toxic parents?

My DM took me and my siblings to a holiday home in the Lake District. We wanted to camp on an island, but my DM doesn't think she has the authority to say yes or no. She's messaged our absent father to get his views.

He's basically said he'd rather we we all drowned in the lake than were shit at sailing and camping. My DM thinks this is a good thing and has said we can go.

Just as long as you don’t meet some strange men in the woods while you’re there, or go on a boat belonging to an “uncle” of some children you only just met who plays pirate games to lure you in

ObelixtheGaul · 06/09/2024 17:59

drudgewithagrudge · 06/09/2024 12:53

AIBU to resent the amount of time my husband spends with his friend. They shared lodgings before our marriage and my DH worships him although he gets involved with dangerous situations with his bestie and often disappears for days on end with him. At the moment they are on their way to Switzerland and I have a bad feeling that things won't go well.
Should I LTB ? Friends hint that there is something "strange" about their relationship.

I had a similar problem. We had to move to Argentina to get away. Unfortunately, my husband is a bit of an idiot and lost the farm we moved to, so we had to go back. He has taken up with the friend again, but at least it gets him out from under my feet...

LilySLE · 06/09/2024 18:00

AIBU to think this nanny has really overstepped the mark?

I needed someone to look after my two kids as my husband works in the city and I am too busy campaigning for women’s rights to look after them. Admittedly I hired her in a bit of a spur of the moment decision (she had only just flown in from heaven knows where). She does take them out on day trips, but they come back covered in soot, and when they are poorly she seems to think that giving them sweet treats is the answer. AIBU? 🤷‍♀️

FluffyBook · 06/09/2024 18:03

I can't think what this is but it sounds very Enid Blytoney!

Not sure either. No lashings of ginger beer.

LilySLE · 06/09/2024 18:05

Cattery · 05/09/2024 15:22

AIBU: I’m consuming far too much wine, lusting after an unsuitable man and embarrassing myself everywhere I go

Just don’t write anything down (eg in a diary or similar). It could be incriminating

LilySLE · 06/09/2024 18:07

BuyingButterAndSatinSandals · 05/09/2024 15:36

I feel I've outgrown my current house. I've been advised to move a hen, a goat, a pig and a cow in with me and then, after some time, move them back out again. The idea is that this will give me a new perspective on the space my current house actually does offer me and then I won't want to move after all. AIBU to just upsize?

YABU. You should just move them all out again. Problem solved

LilySLE · 06/09/2024 18:10

ObelixtheGaul · 05/09/2024 16:08

AIBU to think my adoptive parent might be a nut job? She got jilted years ago and still wears her wedding dress every day. She's still got the cake and all the food on the table in the front room. It's disgusting, smells vile and there's mice everywhere.

Be careful of strange men who want to befriend you