I am an important, well respected professional from a good family, fully conversant with all modern theories of medicine, mathematics, science and chemistry. I'm sort of seeing somebody, but I think they might find the whole having children thing a bit much, as they're a bit delicate and, tbh, they're kind of part of the family already, so I reckon it's probably a good idea to wait a few more years before marrying.
I really, really wanted to have a child of my own straight away without somebody else getting in the way or telling me what to do, so I used my extensive scientific and medical knowledge and after considerable time, money and many delicate procedures, now have a strapping son.
The trouble is, he doesn't look like me at all. His body is perfect, his hair is lustrous black and flowing, his teeth perfectly pearly white, but he is more of a Vibrant winter than my Fresh Spring and although he should be my beautiful, perfect boy, his yellow skin, black lips and dun eyes disgust me and I wish I'd never chosen to go ahead as a single parent. And, tbh, I'm feeling pretty rough after the last couple of years of work so couldn't possibly manage all the feeding, changing, teaching and late nights that come with having a kid anyway. My Mum would have done it, but she passed away when I was 17 and my Dad's getting on a bit and not in the best of health himself.
I met one of my mates outside the village pub and he's worried about me, so has offered to stay for a while and look after me until I get better. He doesn't know about my son, as when I was heading for the pub, he got out and I haven't seen him since.
AIBU to refuse to give the kid my name and go completely NC?
Apologies if I've missed something, English isn't my first language.