AIBU to be in love with my adoptive brother?

[orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements]

Sorry for the clickbait title - this is actually just a fun thread.

Take the plot of a book and turn it into a AIBU

I'll start.

AIBU to want to marry my adoptive brother that my dad found somewhere and instead of just doing it, acting like a total bitch to him and everyone else even after I'd died?

Booo x

I was wondering about that! The 'wind' seemed a bit far fetched tbh.

I'll take a candle out tonight. Can only go well!!

If the cousin happens to look like a young Rufus Sewell, then yes, grab on with both hands and don’t let go!

And watch out for the local doctor. He’s getting himself into a bit of a sticky situation.

God I love that book! Might be time for a re-read 😁

My sister is so annoying. She's been writing this book for ages, calls it her life's work and is really proud of it 🙄

She is so bossy and stupid and her and my other sisters have gone out to see a play and won't let me come just because I have a cold.

AIBU to chuck her stupid book on the fire?

I'm a bit worried about my adult son. He's nearly 33 and seems to have become a bit of a cult leader. He hands around with a group of friends and they talk in riddles but are essentially anti capitalists. He's really annoyed the authorities who seem to be out to get him.

He's learned a few magic tricks, one of which may be a front fir a moonshine business.

I think he's got a girlfriend but there are unpleasant rumours about her lifestyle.

I think it might be my fault because the circumstances of his birth were difficult but I won't go into that as it might be outing, and I'm also not supposed to involve myself in important man's business, beyond being a good mother to an important man.

I just want what's best for him, but am frustrated at being sidelined and ignored when I can see this isn't going to end well.

WIBU to encourage him to seek counselling or get a better hobby?

Tell him he has to stop and don't Noah for an answer

Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca — do read, it manages to be an excellent English country house novel dripping with lavish afternoon teas and libraries full of faithful spaniels, and creepily Gothic, full of doubles and hauntings and buried secrets unburying themselves.

I wouldn’t plan too far ahead, Mary. Just saying.

(😀😀

Get him to run for the hills before he's caught & killed.
There'll be less wars fought in his name in the future.

AIBU to tell all these dwarfs to fuck off out of my house now?

A little while ago I was sitting outside my house, having a smoke, when this weird old dude with a long beard came over and started chatting to me. I was polite but he just wouldn't go away. I tried saying "good morning" to him several times but he just wouldn't get the hint.

He finally went but I'm pretty sure he scratched something on my door?

Anyway, he's just turned up again and entered by house with loads of really short dudes. I didn't want to be rude so I let them in but they are eating all my food and I'm pretty sure they are going to rob me and that they are all on drugs because they keep talking about burglars and dragons.

AIBU to kick them all out or would that be most disrespectful?

Long story short, my brother is a bit of a dick.

This lady in a white dress now claims she has a right to kill my brother. Again, long story, but she kinda does. But luckily instead of killing my brother she tied a lion to a stone table and killed him instead.

I mean I'm happy she didn't kill my brother but I also really liked the lion and my brother is a dick.

Should I call the RSPCA or something?

Oh wait, don't worry, I think the Lion's OK now.

It all seems a bit familiar too 🤔

My 13¾-year-old is driving me up the wall. Instead of helping with the power cut or doing anything around the house, he’s too busy with his “deep” poetry and moaning about his acne and his girlfriend who’s off on holiday.

DH and I are struggling to keep things together, but DS is busy being a rebel with his red socks and brooding about his love life.

AIBU to think he should stop being so self-absorbed and actually do something useful? Or should I just leave him to his teenage melodrama?

Thoughts?

"One of the few English novels written for grown-up people" (V Woolf)

Don’t tell me he's risen from the dead…

I enjoyed it more before I understood the symbolism.

Nice one!

Do it. She is very irritating. But polish up your skating skills.

Are you me, I lived with 7 Blokes like this. You should rain the woodland animals to do the housework, it’s a doddle then. I left because of the singing

My life is crap. My younger brother died. My boarding school was full of phonies so I left. I love my little sister but my parents drive me mad and even my older brother is a phony now. It seems to me that everyone is a phony. AIBU?

Never mind Laurie, he’ll get over it and marry Amy soon enough, look after Beth!

Oh Beth! 😭

I'd nip this in the bud, otherwise he'll be writing this kind of crap in his diary until he's 33 3/4!

Firstly I admit there's a bit of an age gap between me and my wife, and that she married me to save her father from poverty but I love her deeply and she tolerates me. I know very little about her life before we met but she has a sister and I think had a boyfriend who let her down. Recently we were at church and a young woman was in the congregation who bore a striking resemblance to my wife.
My wife was shocked to see this woman and has since travelled to London and I cannot find her or get in contact with her. Should I ring the police?

I gather you hated English Literature in school and are proud of the fact that you never do "nonsensical" things like reading for pleasure? (Reading for pleasure would also include enjoying amusing AIBU variants , , , ,)

I would guess that about half the threads in AIBU are nonsensical hypothetical scenarios.
At least this one is amusing.

I came across some old women in the woods who told me I was going to be King of Scotland. I quite fancy it. WIBU to kill a load of people to make their predictions come true?