AIBU to be in love with my adoptive brother?

[orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements]

Sorry for the clickbait title - this is actually just a fun thread.

Take the plot of a book and turn it into a AIBU

I'll start.

AIBU to want to marry my adoptive brother that my dad found somewhere and instead of just doing it, acting like a total bitch to him and everyone else even after I'd died?

Aibu to take all the body parts i got from grave robbing and animate them using the mysterious "stuff of life" only I know about? I think this might create some sort of monster I can't control but I'm willing to give it a go. I'm quite flakey though so i might just run off if this all goes according to plan. I also think i might be gay as well but I can't tell anyone because of the culture i come from. I might also have an undiagnosed medical condition because i quite often faint and can't be roused for months at a time - although my BFF (who i have a secret crush on) will nurse me - which is a bonus.

BendingSpoons

Sounds like my childhood, but we will need ices and lashings of ginger beer, please.

Only if you send the dog.
And lashings of ginger beer.

Check out my username lol

AIBU to be annoyed at the school?

DS absolutely loves his food and does have a tendency to over eat. We are trying to monitor his intake as his weight has become a bit of a concern. Lately we've noticed he's been stealing food but have tried to combat this by explaining healthier choices to him and have assured him that if he's hungry he can still have food but he needs to ask one of us so we can help him make a choice that is better for his body.

Anyway, I received a phone call from the headteacher today who said that unfortunately he snuck into the headteacher's office, stole a slice of her chocolate cake and ate it. Obviously I'm furious at DS but the headteacher said that she has already delt with it and that they have had a special assembly about stealing. At first I thought this was fir enough but then she explained that she made DS sit at the front of the hall and then forced him to eat an entire chocolate cake in front of the whole school while they all just sat there and watched him. He did manage to eat the whole thing but the headteacher seemed a bit annoyed about this and mentioned that she smashed the empty plate over his head?

AIBU to think this is a bit strange of the school? would you say anything?

I love this game! It was a regular on here years ago.

AIBU to want to move? My dh lived in this house with his ex and it feels kind of creepy. I just want a fresh start without being reminded of her every two minutes!

Oh I thought I made it up!! 😭😂

That one's even weirder!!

I'm a royal widow and got to marry a smart and handsome younger man when he disposed of a monster terrorizing my city. We get along so well--there's a really special bond. But now he has got really paranoid about the fatal mugging that took away my previous husband and wants to reopen the investigation. Would I be unreasonable to take out a contract on the annoying prophet guy who keeps stirring things up? And can I do something about that incredibly tedious bunch of senior citizens who keep commenting on the unfolding drama on social media?

My sister and her husband have been murdered so we've taken in her baby. I don't really like him though and we only have four bedrooms, one for me and my husband and two for my DS.
AIBU to make him sleep in the cupboard?

AIBU to lock my mad wife in the attic and get it on with the governess?

I think I might have overreacted. There's this gorgeous woman I work with, and last night we finally slept together. I was a virgin, and it was really special to me, but in the middle of the night, I woke up to find this great hairy wolf in my room. In a panic, I drew my sword (I've got it for work, honest!). Anyway, the thing jumped out of the window.
Turns out she's a werewolf. My boss knew about it. This dog that's been hanging around the workplace told me I had been an idiot and scared her off. Dog says he can find her.

Should I go after her? Bit busy at work at the moment as we are investigating some nasty murders, and not really sure I trust a talking dog.
Also, I don't know if I want to date a werewolf. Please don't tell me I'm speciesist, she lied to me about it.

Simply dress up as the lady in white in the portrait and you're sure to win over your DH!

I say.... what's that at the bottom of the cove?

Well around those parts you haven't got many options. I say go for it ,might cheer him up a bit. YANBU (well, a bit).

I've got a sore arse from being sat on a donkey all day trying to keep my crackpot boss out of trouble while he invents all kinds of schemes out of thin air. WIBU to find us both a proper position once and for all? Mind you, the scenery around rural Spain is very nice.

Oh my god I love Carrot and Angua so much!

Just keep wearing your Protective.

Hello Mrs Bogtrotter, well it's an unorthodox method to say the least, not to mention somewhat at odds with today's anti fat shaming stance in schools but I daresay it may lead your son to reconsider his dietary choices and choose healthier options in future

AIBU if I (40ish male) marry my child’s governess (19 female) and just not mention I’ve been married before?
Oh and my wife is still living and locked in the attic, but it’s ok because I was tricked into marrying her and she’s insane?

Do they have a dog to take ?

I'll lend them Timmy.

Not really certain I understand why I wear it, TBH. This bloke I work with thought it was because I kept getting my last girlfriend in trouble. Didn't understand what he meant. I should point out I am from a different cultural background and don't understand a lot of the things people talk about here.

Or why didn't one of those big ass eagles just give him a lift to the mountain 🤷

Is it weird or romantic if I as 114 year old undead male creep into the bedroom of a 17 year old and watch her sleep?

AIBU to marry my boss even though he has another wife he has locked up in the attic? She is rather mad

Someone else did a shorter version of this while I was writing...

I (m, late40s) got married many years ago to a woman who turned out to have significant mental health issues which have a strong genetic component. I didn't find out about this until after I'd married her and brought her back to England (we married on the other side of the world). Obviously I arranged for the best care I could for her at home but have basically returned to a bachelor lifestyle as the woman who is technically my wife really isn't well enough to live as such. This has suited me well fir many years, I travel a lot and have had a number of girlfriends, none very serious.

Relatively recently one of my ex girlfriends died unexpectedly leaving an orphaned daughter (father unknown, not me) and I have agreed to foster the child and engaged a governess to look after her so that I can continue to travel and be generally unencumbered.

My problem is that this governess (19 ish, F Obviously) is HOT. I am totally in to her and I think she feels the same but she's quite morally strict and won't just have a fling with me, she's not the type. She doesn't know about my "wife" (who I don't really regard as my wife properly, although legally she is).

WIBU to marry the governess? And does the fact I am over twice her age matter?