AIBU to be in love with my adoptive brother?

[orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements]

Sorry for the clickbait title - this is actually just a fun thread.

Take the plot of a book and turn it into a AIBU

I'll start.

AIBU to want to marry my adoptive brother that my dad found somewhere and instead of just doing it, acting like a total bitch to him and everyone else even after I'd died?

Hi Cathy!

Gonna go run around the world with a ring that corrupts everyone who touches it when, actually, a simple solution would be to let a mouse wear it and then carry the mouse

Ha ha - WH was my first thought on reading your title.

The reverse side -

“I’m in love with my adoptive sister. She is an utter bitch to me and has been for some time. Only solace is she’s a bitch to everyone, but I’ve been hanging about, despite being regularly
assaulted by her brother, in case she comes round. Don’t tell me to call childline or men’s aid (made that one up) - I don’t want to ruin my chances with her.

Matters have come to a head because she’s now agreed to marry someone else.

AIBU to LTB for now and make a shit ton of money, and then come back and be surprised she has indeed gone ahead and married this guy, marry his sister in revenge and then become an abusive husband? I thought I might then extend that to future generations if I get the chance.

Tbh I could have gone and made this shit ton of money years ago but I thought I’d wait til things weren’t salvageable to do it, just for added drama, and because I’m a typical Scorpio and that’s how we roll.

Also, please don’t tell me to just get over her and have a healthy relationship, because that would be far too normal and I’d rather just destroy everyone and everything.

I've had a lazy day at home, the place is a tip and I couldn't be arsed to go to Tesco. AIBU for telling DH a tiger manipulated me into letting him in the house and then trashed the place?

ESH

Literally everyone is just so unlikeable!

Sorry for the edits in my post I kept thinking of additions!

No, not at all, and your DH should really take you out for Sausages and chips and ice-cream.

AIBU to send DD13 and her 3 cousins (M14, M12, F10) off camping for the week? I've made them lots of sandwiches and given them money to buy milk and cheese. They can pick wild fruit. DH gets really grumpy when they are noisy and they are keen to go.

I can't think what this is but it sounds very Enid Blytoney!

I agree, although I do quite like the second Cathy

Famous Five (although the ages are a guess). DS is reading them at the moment!

Ah! I was more of a secret seven fan which I why I didn't get it straight away!

I am a 50m and my partner is 2727f. My potential FIL wants me to get a top job before we get married, which seems a bit unfair. I am also a bit worried about the age gap. AIBU?

On a similar theme:

I was in love with my adoptive sister. My parents forced her to marry my brother, but they split up and she then made some poor relationship choices.

She had a daughter and then died of miscellaneous poverty related illness (I blame the Tories for this).

AIBU to brood on this until my adoptive niece is grown up. Then I will fall in love with someone around the same age as said niece, so about twenty years younger than me, basically because she reminds me a bit of my sister.

My niece has now had a child also (DGN) and my new crush is in love with the father of DGN. Should I carry on pursuing my crush and eventually marry her when DGN’s father gets sick of her, or should I get some therapy and marry someone more suitable?

Would you be worried - my three kids climbed up a really really big tree in the woods and haven't come back down. It's been three days.

Also while there's traffic, what do you think of "Fanny" for a baby name?

As long as they took a jumper with them I wouldn't worry.

My friend used Fanny for her second. Her eldest is Dick.

My DDad thinks he's a bit of an expert- he just won't listen.

Actually, my whole family are total pigs.

My best friend just likes everything I like. She's such a sheep.

I think they're all so lucky that I'm here to help them all, aibu?

AIBU to eat
one apple 🍎
two pears 🍐 🍐
three plums 🍑🍑🍑
four strawberries 🍓🍓🍓🍓
five oranges 🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊
one piece of chocolate cake 🍫 one ice-cream cone 🍦one pickle 🌶 one slice of Swiss cheese 🧀 one slice of salami 🍕 one lollipop 🍭 one piece of cherry pie 🍒 one sausage 🌭 one cupcake 🎂 one slice of watermelon 🍉 and one nice green leaf 🍃 ?

Disclaimer * items substituted

AIBU to conceal my four blonde children in my evil disinheriting parents' giant attic, now that their father/my husband (AKA my half-uncle who groomed me) has died, inconveniently leaving me with nothing, so I need to pretend the marriage was childless in order to get my father to put me back into his will? I mean, someone suggested I just get a job, but that doesn't sound very appealing, right? And I should just deal with my mum horsewhipping the teenagers and tarring my daughter's hair, because, after all, her house her rules?

Currently reading these with DS! The plots are wild 😂

My AIBU:

AIBU if I trick my DH into getting me pregnant, being too career-driven to attend antenatal appointments, insisting on a home birth because I fell out with both the NHS and the private hospital, then cheating on my DH with my boss because DH found out I tricked him into having a baby and left me?

YABU. Metamorphosise into something more reasonable ASAP.

I plan to metamorphosise into a fatter me 😁

I feel like everyone who read this was way too young to be reading it 😄

I am a woman living with seven blokes. They all work, but expect me to do all the housework and cooking. They are absolutely loaded (work in precious metals). AIBU to expect them to contribute to housework or pay for a cleaner?

I’m married to a fox and I can’t stand him. AIBU to gaslight him by hiding his clothes all over the house including in the grandfather clock and the attic?

J=12, Dand G=11 and A=10 in the first book.
Poor mum had 3 under 3, no wonder Julian has to be in charge.