AIBU to be in love with my adoptive brother?

[orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements]

Sorry for the clickbait title - this is actually just a fun thread.

Take the plot of a book and turn it into a AIBU

I'll start.

AIBU to want to marry my adoptive brother that my dad found somewhere and instead of just doing it, acting like a total bitch to him and everyone else even after I'd died?

Wuthering heights by Emily Bronte - it's a classic!

My child's kidnapping and murder led to a domino effect of several other deaths. WIBU to gang together with various members of my family, friends, staff, family of former staff and various others to kill the ringleader of the kidnappers? We plan to pretend to be strangers and take a train journey together so that nobody knows what we have done.

Up to no. 5 you're a mumsnet dream, it goes downhill fast ice cream and chocolate cake you glutton. Yabu.

Normal diet day that is. Fruit, fruit, fruit, fruit....ALL THE FOOD.

Typical - not a thought for your poor neglected, despised sister, who has already posted her problem.

Oh my god 😂

Check your fellow passengers out before doing anything. If one of them's a short bloke with a tidy moustache and a Belgian accent, call the plan off. You'll get caught, I promise.

Beware men with moustaches.

I'm 18 (or thereabouts). Met a lovely man (35) in France, married him very quickly, now back at his house in Cornwall, turns out he's not really over his first wife, huge pictures of her all over the walls.
He has a housekeeper and I suspect she's in love with first wife too as she's always going on about her.
Not sure if I should have children with him now or wait a bit longer. WWYD?

OMG Lydia, when did you join mumsnet?
Off to change my username so it’s not too outing when I get advice about your frankly, disgraceful behaviour!

Hi mumsnetters. My young son is a certified loon bag who regularly trashes my stuff. AIBU to get him a bow and arrow as a distraction?

Hi ladies,

Man here, after a womans opinion. I asked my cousin to marry me this morning but she's turned me down. I don't understand it, I've got a good job and mix with the local gentry and I'm due to inherit her father's house.

Would I be unreasonable to propose to her best friend this evening?

TIA.

LTB

Hide the matches.

You are not the catch you think you are Mr C.
But yes, she’s probably desperate enough!

I've got this really pretty, beautiful garden with a young couple living in it.
I told them that the one rule I have for them is that they are not allowed to eat the fruit from this one tree.
The woman ate an apple from the tree and TBH I'm really pissed about.

AIBU to kick them both out, damn them to a life of toil for their food, and greatly increase the pain all women go through in childbirth for the rest of time?

I've put a cherubim and a flaming sword in the way of the tree so they can't do it again.

We need to talk about this.

My new husband and I are trying out best to blend our new family, but I am finding my SD very hard to deal with. My husband is often away for business leaving me to do all the parenting. We are a wealthy family of some standing in the community but my SD behaves as though she is some sort of servant, she won’t even sleep in her bed but insists on sleeping on the floor in the kitchen ,she barely washes herself and is encouraging rodents and other vermin into the house by singing to them. My husband doesn’t seem to think this behaviour is at all odd. I found out today that we have all been invited to a very prestigious event which might have great consequences for my own girls, and I know SD will bring shame on the family by turning up in rags and barefoot. Would it be wrong to pretend she hasn’t been invited and leave her behind on the night doing an important task like separating out dried beans and peas?

Leave him alone. It's her fault. Don't believe anything she tells you about any talking snakes, either.

Sorry, wrong quote! (But as you are omniscient you knew that.)

Male here looking for female opinion. Met a really HOT woman, well I say met, I saw her in the dock at the Old Bailey. AIBU to get her off the murder charge in return for marrying me?

You should write her a poem.

We need to talk about this.

My DM died when I was young leaving me with two sisters and my DF who's a baronet, and completely obsessed with class. This doesn't interest me, and to be honest it's incredibly embarrassing. My older DSis is a chip off the old block and the younger one is now married into another respectable family locally and has two sons (thank goodness, I mean the less said about her the better - she's an utter hypochondriac and has perpetual FOMO). When I was nineteen I met the most amazing man - not only did he have a pleasing countenance and tastes and pursuits yadda yadda, but he was in the navy and a total hottie. I mean you should have seen him in breeches and tall boots 😍.

We were all set to get married but my DM's friend who tbh has been a sort of godmother figure to me since her death managed to persuade me that it would be a bad idea, that he had no prospects and no fortune so I broke it off. Now eight years later I'm still dreaming of him, and I hear he is in the neighbourhood, and he's rich.

AIBU to be totally pissed off with my godmother? How should I play this now?

Michael, you need to check that your girlfriend isn’t actually two sisters (who have swapped identities).