AIBU to be in love with my adoptive brother?

[orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements]

Sorry for the clickbait title - this is actually just a fun thread.

Take the plot of a book and turn it into a AIBU

I'll start.

AIBU to want to marry my adoptive brother that my dad found somewhere and instead of just doing it, acting like a total bitch to him and everyone else even after I'd died?

Wwyd?

I went shopping this morning and left my son 8 with my eldery MIL. I've come home and he's given her a mix of antifreeze, paint from the back of the shed and the pets medication amoungst other bits. It's made her quite unwell and she's tripled in size (honestly she's unusually tall)- would I be unreasonable not to phone an ambulance but to try to recreate the medication at home? I think we could test it on the pets we have and could make a good bit of cash if its successful...?

As long as your items aren’t substituted by ASDA then I think you’ll probably be okay. 👍

Well, at the moment I’m hiding under the sofa and starving. It’s not necessarily allegorical, you know!

I live in my great-uncle's house - it's been quite a nice arrangement as I don't pay rent or anything in return for looking after the house and his fossil collection. He's not there most of the time as he's off looking for more fossils. The problem is that he's recently taken to coming back with babies that he dumps on me and my old nanny to look after. There have been three so far, it's getting beyond a joke. Should I call social services?

AIBU to hate my family? I do my best to act morally, study hard, play the piano, sing - yet everyone sneers at me and despises me because I’m not as good-looking or outgoing as my sisters. My mother is, frankly, a stupid woman and my father is dreadfully weak. I know I’m worth more than all of them but no-one appreciates me. What can I do?

I have inherited a nephew who is a bit strange. My Dh is not keen on him and has put him under the stairs. He will be going away to school soon,have to get a train there from Kings
Cross. My son who is a charming sweet young man dosnt like him either.

What novel!? I’d like to read this

We are a resilient bunch, we will just have to go through it.

Yes - but you'll have to give your real name, Sylvia, not the idiotic "Garnie".

What are you talking about? We’re not scared.

No ambulance as she is a tyrant.

AIBU: I’m consuming far too much wine, lusting after an unsuitable man and embarrassing myself everywhere I go

Just don’t weigh yourself. It will only depress you.

@Miffylou 👍🤣

AIBU to think that children should be able to entertain themselves when they reach 3 years old? It feels like DS is constantly trying to get my attention. It's very irritating. He tries to get his Dad's attention too in such a negative way - for instance, he bit him earlier. DS has even started smashing up his own toys. When I turned his light out I'm sure he mumbled something about monsters. How best to address this?

I'm an apprentice and my supervisor is excellent at the work, but he keeps leaving during the day to go after girls. He can't stop talking about them and can't get any work done until they fall in love with him, then he isn't bothered with them any more.

He's just said the name of latest girl he's going to see, and it's my girlfriend! WIBU to leave the work I'm meant to be doing and get to her first?

Oh and an old lady who says she's my girlfriend's great aunt turned up at work one day and won't leave! She keeps cleaning everything. My boss hadn't said anything about her, so should I just let her get on with it? Some of the things we work with can be quite dangerous...

Might one of them turn out to be an amazing dancer?

Make sure they take the dog and tell them not to speak to any foreigners. Have they got hardboiled eggs, ginger beer, fresh tomatoes and slices of fruit cake in their bike baskets?

I met this bloke, he was really rude and arrogant. But, against his ‘better judgement’ really fancied me. But as I’ve got good boundaries I told him where to go.
Anyway, just been to stay with my friend and she lives on his estate and it turns out he’s minted.
i don’t have great prospects as my parents had too many of us girls and all dads money will go to a horrible cousin.
I just feel like he’s really growing on me now and I could change him for the better, AIBU to try again?

Oh don’t worry, I have got the perfect solution for your anxiety. Simply call them all by names with the same initial to save on name tapes. There, has that helped?

I feel I've outgrown my current house. I've been advised to move a hen, a goat, a pig and a cow in with me and then, after some time, move them back out again. The idea is that this will give me a new perspective on the space my current house actually does offer me and then I won't want to move after all. AIBU to just upsize?

Just ignore him. Completely. Don’t even look at him. Eventually he will either give up with the annoying attention seeking, or get eaten.

I’m in love with a girl in my class but I have spots and a slovenly mother

You forgot the lashings of ginger beer. And don't forget to send the dog too.