To ask you to help me process things and get home from France.

[Notsurehowtoprocessthis]

I've come away with a friend and our children and she's been struggling since before we got here.

Tonight my daughter got really tired and had a screaming meltdown after my friend's daughter hurt herself and my daughter saw the blood and couldnt cope and it sent her into an epic meltdown. My friend has got it into her head that my daughter was being out of order for screaming when her daughter had hurt herself and couldn't understand that my daughter literally just can't cope with things like that due to her autism. She kept coming over trying to tell my daughter off for screaming and saying to me it was out of order (my DD is 5) and I said just leave it she's having a meltdown. I kept repeating that she's having a meltdown and there's nothing anyone can do to calm her until she's calm, so she's gone back to the room and text me that she can't be here and she's booked something else and leaving in the morning.

Which is fine. İf she doesn't want to be around us, I can't fault her for that. Only I booked and paid for the accomodation and she was paying for the transport. She drove us here and I don't drive. I don't even have a suitcase for my stuff as I just threw it in a supermarket bag for life and a large shoulder bag and put it in the car for convenience, as well as a couple of blankets and a pillow. I'll have to try and ask the staff if they can help me sort out a suitcase. We are in the countryside on a Eurocamp and there's a train station but I doubt it would take us anywhere nearby easy to get to with a suitcase shop and my daughter doesn't walk far due to her autism.

There hasn't been any issues with my daughter. She's well behaved. She has her moments like all kids with not listening sometimes and asking for sweets constantly, but no different from her friend. There's been no drama, everything has been fine all holiday between us all. She hasn't had a meltdown for weeks because it's been summer holidays and life has been much calmer. My friend hasn't been sleeping though and struggling with her daughter between the two of them, some kind of discomnectand it seems like she's just taken this as her personal last straw and wants to be alone. Which is fine. İf she can't cope with other people right now that's not something I'd hold against anyone. They didn't have to be around us for the meltdown, we were outdoors in a public area with loads of different things to do, and I've done my own thing all afternoon as we wanted to do different things, so there hasn't been any animosity building up. İn fact, me and my dd had only been back for about ten minutes at the campsite from our day out when this all erupted. My daughter has meltdowns, that's just autism unfortunately, but no one was forced to be around us, we weren't at the room when it happened and it's the only one in weeks and weeks. I've warned my friend loads of times about the autism. We all went on a group holiday before and shared a glamping pod and everything was fine, so I don't know where this has come from.

Anyway sorry for the long post, just trying to process it all. Through the accomodation booking I booked a heavily discounted ferry crossing. Would I be out of order to cancel it and book myself and DD discounted foot passenger tickets. İt's the cheapest way for me to get home. I've already paid the accomodation and my friend was meant to be paying the travel. I can only get the discount once so I'd have to cancel the ferry we were booked on, in order to use the discount for myself. I'm already going to have to pay for really expensive last minute trains all the way here in France and UK and a taxi from the station and it's going to be a much harder and longer journey and there's less ferries per day which take foot passengers.

The other thing is, is that my friend was really keen for us to do Disney on this holiday for a day. I went along with it to be a good friend, even though it's a big extra expense on what was supposed to be a cheap holiday, and she wanted to tell the children before we had booked it. Anyway I was only able to go as she gets DLA for her child so booked queue jump for us via her DLA. I can't take my DD now as she can't cope with queues and her DLA hasn't been processed yet. My friend did a big surprise thing with getting them to scratch scratch cards to see where they're going even after I said let's tell them when we are on the way, because I didn't want to make promises which might not be kept, knowing how tired everyone gets on holiday. Now I have to tell my dd that her friend is leaving early and we can't go to Disney now either.

Sorry for the long post I just don't want people to jump in and say maybe your dd is being worse than you think, and i wanted to properly explain the autism and how much I've been on my dd's emotions to make sure there hasn't been any outbursts.

I’d actually love to hear the friends side of this. There has to be more to it.

Just FYI you can get a bus from disney direct to Vallee d'Europ - There's a primark there and and big supermarket so you might get a suitcase there.
I'd say for disney go and spend a couple of hours in the disney village - from the sounds of it your daughter would be happy & there is stuff to do & shops to go into.
In france I use my apple maps and you can choose what form of transport you want ie bus or train. So easy.

Is this a fairly new requirement? I went 2 years ago and didn't need anything but am aware things have changed

Yes I think so, i went 3 months ago and it was very clear we needed evidence from the list on the website (dla, access card, disability id etc) and that a doctors letter would not be sufficient.

Amazon for the suitcase?

Seems a good idea to find out if you actually need to lug a car seat with you all the way home. Also, this gets your story going back in Blighty before your friend gets back & comes up with something to cover up her actions.

It depends if you might need it at some point on the journey back, though. Is it at all likely that the friend will suddenly reappear & offer to drive you back?

I agree - you won't get a pass now without the specific documents they allow (DLA letter or Access Card I believe).

I wouldn't bother with Disney, OP. It's overwhelming at the best of times, let alone in your circumstances and with a DD with autism. I'd just get going (today) and quietly make your way back home. Stop an overnight here and there along the way if you have to, but get going. You could be home this time tomorrow.

We found at Disney that if we were flexible with what we rode, we could often find short queues. Your dd is young, she will probably be thrilled with some of the tamer, older rides that often get overlooked. If we saw something with a short queue as we walked by, we got in line. Dd and I both have ASD and I’ve got a bad back so standing is hard. We still did a few of the big attractions, but I think we did Small World in Orlando 3 times because dd loved it and the queue was short.

Sorry, I thought I’d read all of OPs posts but missed this info.

Yes, but she does also say elsewhere that her daughter was melting down in her arms for an hour, and that her friend was ‘giving her daggers’ the whole time, which suggests the friend was present throughout?

It’s not really clear to me what happened in between the other child’s injury/ the meltdown, and the text message from the friend saying that she was moving to a hotel, which the OP says she received when she had just got into bed.

But she also keeps referring to ‘the room’, which suggests they were sharing a room in their accommodation, which may well have been a lot, especially if there are two five year olds, one with autism, and one who receives DLA, and a mother who is struggling.

Though I can’t see how they wouldn’t have actually talked rather than texted if they were sharing a room or other tiny space, or how the friend and her daughter could have left without the OP being aware?

Omg, did you wear noise cancelling headphones then? 😂

We always do Haunted Mansion first for some reason.

I was just coming on here to say this, but I couldn't remember the name of it. There was also another shop in there that sold suitcases and travel bags and they seemed a reasonable price

Ah thanks

Op I'm really sorry. Your "friend" is no friend
What a horrible human being.

We weren't in the caravan I was sitting at a table by the pool with my DD. Her dd kept coming over whilst my DD was screaming her head off then crying and running off to her mum, who instead of removing her from the situation, kept saying how out of order my DD was for screaming and they kept coming back over and saying how unfair it was that she was screaming whilst her dd was upset. Her DLA disability is slightly partial hearing difficulties. She's actually using her adult daughters pip to apply for the queue jump, who isn't here. She stubbed her toe and there was a tiny bit of blood, like a speck but it was enough to freak my DD out who has a phobia of blood.

Sorry for the confusion. I did say room in my OP because I was trying not to be outing. But that's gone out the window now.

İt's a caravan with a bedroom at either end. You can't hear anything from one room whilst you're in another. All I heard this morning was some banging doors and then car door opening and closing, all of which lasted about five minutes or less. I was still half asleep as I couldn't sleep the night before.

Her DLA disability is slightly partial hearing difficulties. She's actually using her adult daughters pip to apply for the queue jump, who isn't here. She stubbed her toe and there was a tiny bit of blood, like a speck but it was enough to freak my DD out who has a phobia of blood.
Well that won't work will it as am sure Disney staff will see that adult pip info won't match a 5 yo!
And a tiny speck of blood? From the OP I'd thought quite a lot of blood loss, but a stubbed toe?!

No it was just a stubbed toe.

Go to the reception of the euro camp and check bit you can Amazon prime bags etc using the French Amazon site to the campsite - save you having to go anywhere

French trains are nice and smooth / efficient

Your so called friend sounds like a pain in the arse but you can do this and enjoy it xxx

Just to say again, do consider coach and ferry (Flixbus) then it would be all included in the trip and you wouldn't have to think about booking ferries etc. Also could you order a suitcase to be delivered to a click and collect near you from Amazon.fr? But actually you may be better to get a rucksack to make it easier to carry things and look after your daughter.

You could also use the car seat on the coach. You can get an overnight coach from Disneyland to London with Flixbus. Your daughter may even sleep then in a car seat.

"I honestly haven't done anything wrong, to the pp who suggested I apologise. All I did was hug my DD and tend to her and focus on her and quietly and calmly and gently say that I couldn't make her stop screaming and that she was having a meltdown when my ex friend came over aggressively kicking off about it."

This sounds ,like this has been a terribly stressful situation for you. But would it really be so out of line to apologize? I know you didn't do anything wrong and neither did your daughter but the situation did cause drama and upended what was seemingly a nice getaway. A getaway for your friend too. I think an apology may be in order (even though she has acted like a loon).

OP just to offer advice but Disneyland Paris are now extremely strict in the queue jump process. You will need to prove DLA, Access Pass, or something else extremely concrete. If you need a wheelchair etc when there that is fine and they can support but that doesn't allow for queue jump anymore. I just don't want you to make all the effort and be disappointed.

If the tickets are free, and you feel up for going, then as your DD is 5 maybe just go and enjoy the actual park rather than long queues? At that age everything is quite magic - the parades, characters, themed shops, the train cart ride. You can have a lovely day without the rides.

This 100%. If she abandons you and your dd she is the worst if people. I wouldn't want anything to do with someone like that ever again.

I think you need to call the ferry company and find out if the tickets are still valid or have been canceled.

This woman sounds vindictive enough to (a) steal your Disney tickets and (b) cancel the ferry tickets, even if it meant buying new tickets for herself and her child.

It's the ferry tickets I'd worry about.