To think this comment about women with no female friends is problematic?

[Newlifeincoming]

I saw a comment recently that said “women who don’t have any friends that are women are red flags. I don’t care what anyone says.”

I find this a bit troubling and potentially judgemental.

AIBU for thinking that this perspective is unfair and doesn’t account for individual circumstances or preferences? What do you think about this kind of statement?

Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

I agree.

In my entire life my DH is the only person (apart from my dds) who has ever "got me". I'm weird, and quirky and socially awkward and tactless and say the wrong thing a lot of the time. I find social interactions emotionally draining. He's the only person who has ever bothered to look past the exterior and seen the real me.

I’m suspicious of anyone who only has friends of either sex tbh.

Yeah, there’s a part of me thinking the things being said in this thread by a lot of women are why some women would rather hang out with men more!

Yeh cos men never say awful things about women

This! 👏👏

But if those opinions are based on their own life experience, who are you to say otherwise?

As per my previous post, this depends on who's 'judging' (for want of a better word).

As a woman, I feel I've always been encouraged to be strong, ambitious and independent... by both men and women (whether it's family, friends, colleagues or bosses) who possess those same qualities. Hands down, the two biggest supporters in my entire life were/are male.

Hands down, the only people who have 'sneered at' me and expected me to 'fit in and conform' have been insecure, unambitious, jealous people of BOTH sexes. Funny that...

Because the opinions of MRAs are rarely based in reality. You only have to look at crime statistics to see that men are considerably more violent than women.

Totally agree, what's more, does it really matter that some women don't have female friends? Personally I don't think it does really.
Equally, does this mean that men who don't have male friends are a red flag too? I think not.

I guess I’m a huge red flag then 😅

My DD has no female friends and one male friend. she is extremely shy and not good with small talk. there's nothing wrong with her, but she's very quiet and most of the girls she went to school with are more talkative and chatty and she's not that type.

This sounds like it was written by someone really jaded and no partner in life. Probably sexist and abusive.

The people here who are disagreeing with you - I normally find them to be the easily jealous type and therefore will project that onto women whom have male friends only.

At the end of the day, it is not up to anybody which friends you choose to have whether male, female, non-binary etc

@KendraTheVampyrSlayer

Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

I am a bit of both. I am fairly socially confident but I don’t particularly enjoy big crowds and gatherings and prefer intimate conversations.

I knew that was going to come up and I knew someone was going to say they don’t need friends because they are an introvert.

It’s a complete misconception of what introversion is. Introverts need friends too. They are not people who “hate people” or don’t need friends. They are people who charge their energy by being alone.

Yes, that's true, I do charge my energy by being alone (or with DH and the kids). I don't need friends because all my emotional and social needs are being met by my family. I have never had one friend who actually just liked me for me, they always wanted something from me. Pushed my boundaries and used me.

Once I reached a certain age I stopped trying to please people. If people don't like me for who I am rather than what I can do for them it says more about them than me.

Well this post is eye opening!
I am one of "those" women. no I'm not after your partner/hubby/SO.

I'm not misogynistic, but I've had awful betrayals from female friends in the past. My main hobby is video gaming, and I play board games too. I'm an Engineer for work. Is it surprising that I get on so much better with guys, and that I prefer the company of like minded folk...who are guys. Find me some female friends who will tell it like it is, share my interests and will put in some effort to maintain a friendship and I'll be there. I'm yet to find a Rosetta stone of female friendship - I've found it several times in men.

I just want a friend who's not got an agenda, not competing with me, not threatened by me, and will put an equal share of effort into the friendship (call me as often as i call them for example.)

Please tell me the red flags that "I prefer male friends" gives off?
Is nerdy? yes.
Socially awkward? yes
On the pull? hell no - friendzone for a reason!
bad experiences? yes.

I'd love to know what vibe i'm giving off that makes women back away and guys come talk to me too.

I have women friends now but as a child, my 2 best friends were boys and in my teens and 20s, I found men easier to get along with than women.

Like a previous poster, I'm autistic and I think that played a part in it. Boys and men just seemed more straightforward.

Can you hear yourself!? Someone expresses an opinion about women based on their lived experience and they get called names?

Well done you for perfectly highlighting why some women don't get on with other women.

👏... 👏... 👏

Excellent post! 👏👏

circumstance plays a massive part, so can the gender split in your social scene. mine is male heavy, mostly made up of D&D nerds, artists, and gamers, its 60% gay male, with about 20% female, and the other is made up of a vanishingly small percentage of straight guys with a fairly large trans/nb group mixed through.

my close friends number male heavy because of it. my bff is female, so i don't say i don't have female friends, but she and i are the odd-ducks in the group, and i have always had more male friends than female simply because my interests and the clubs/social scene attract more men than women.

I don’t have any friends of either gender so

isnt it just.

i met my current female bff when i was 37, prior to that i either had ZERO friends, or just a couple of guys as i was involved in the car/bike scene. the only women i knew were the wives of my exH's friends.

If your experience of all-female environments prior to heading to university (eg school, or sports teams) has frequently been negative, with bullying or cliques, and then your area of study, job and hobbies are quite male-dominated, then it's really easy to get to your late twenties with very few female friends, and a fair number of male ones. There's really no reason for other people to read too much into that if it doesn't affect them directly.

Angelina Jolie has said this week that she has no friends. Can’t say I was surprised - she used to be really weird (husbands blood in a vial round her neck etc), then “broke up America’s sweethearts”, and always comes across holier than thou to me. She’s the type of person I think of when I hear this kind of statement.

‘I find this a bit troubling and potentially judgemental’

Why not pluck up the courage to find it actually troubling and actually judgemental? If it’s unimportant, let it go.