Cousin is having a child-free wedding… but he has children and his children won’t be there?!

[Whatdoyoureckonh]

My cousin had a crappy divorce. He has two children, aged 9 and 11, and is getting married again. I got the wedding invite the other day and just went on the website to have a look at the details and read that it’s a child-free wedding. I told my mum and she said that his own kids won’t be there.

Don’t you think that’s a bit crap?! To not invite your own kids to your wedding???

You don't know what has gone on behind the scenes though - ex could have kicked up a fuss and cousin may just think he doesn't want a load of hassle and drama on his wedding day! I'd hold off on the judgement, it's not really any of your business!

Just as well eh? 🙄

9 and 11 years olds? Yes, I think they care about weddings, especially their father’s.

Well it is childfree, and what's it to do with you?

What a spineless groom and heartless bride.

When my uncle remarried neither of their children attended. This was though due to his ex wife being very difficult with the children attending his second marriage. So to be fair (&very sad) neither of them had their children at the wedding.

That's actually a really good point, what kid would want to see their parent marry someone else

I'm sure he's invited everyone who is truly important to him.

I'm with you. At that age he wouldn't have a clue and the looking after is much more intense.

7 onwards would be different.

When I got married we invited my husband's 3 teenage kids.
One was a witness
One was a bridesmaid
One went to a football match.
All valid choices which happened without drama

I think it depends on their relationship. I’d hope that he’s spoken to them and they’ve mutually decided not to go so he’s decided no other children.
Ultimately it’s his choice really, not one I would choose but what he may want.

Sadly, you are!
His wedding, his choice.
You don't know how this has been discussed with the kids, and you are projecting that she would love to be a bridesmaid.
Rather sad that you are making judgements based on a wedding invitation. Don't go

It's a bit red-flaggy tbh. I'm sure his ex wife is smugly saying "told you so" to everyone.

No they should not!
This whole trope of kids being the most important things in the world
God, the fall-out from this is starting, and will only get worse

They'll be wanting to sit down on trains next.

Wel it used to be get married then have kids, but these days anything goes

But regardless why can't get people do things differently? What is this obsession of 'how on earth can they do this it has to be the way I say'

If you want to go then go if not dont

I wouldn't marry anyone who didn't want my dc at our wedding.

Not at the wedding, not in the family.

Being charitable, I do know of a case where the ex-wife wouldn't allow the child to go to the wedding unless she did too, and she was certainly not welcome.

But on the whole I hate child free weddings, I think it's better with them.

I see what you did there!

I think it's crappy yes, not a good sign for the future really

Thats disgusting. My 2 were 6 and 1 and were at our wedding.

I worked with someone who was so enthusiastic about her boyfriend's child, talked about her, planned things to do with her, acted like she was Mary Poppins. He proposed, the wedding date was set, she never mentioned his little girl, I'd just assumed she'd be a bridesmaid as this woman was so OTT about her. Her reply was, "No I don't want her there at all." That was it, child never mentioned positively again, constant comments about her table manners, her demands of daddy's time. She was soon pregnant and off on maternity leave, then I was on maternity leave and then I got a promotion so went back to a different office. I wonder how much that little girl was included after the baby was born.

I was 12 when my mother remarried. I'd have been so upset if I hadn't been included although the day didn't end well when my little brother asked if he should call her new husband his stepdad. He replied very sharply that no he wasn't any type of dad. Sad as my dad was dead and little brother desperately wanted a father figure.

Fortunately the marriage didn't last that long although it did last too long.

DS didnt want her own young DC at her wedding to StepF - we suspect because she thought they'd think it was funny to object when the vicar asked if anyone had "just cause"! The DC didn't really get on with the stepF and the marriage was doomed from the start.