Cousin is having a child-free wedding… but he has children and his children won’t be there?!

[Whatdoyoureckonh]

My cousin had a crappy divorce. He has two children, aged 9 and 11, and is getting married again. I got the wedding invite the other day and just went on the website to have a look at the details and read that it’s a child-free wedding. I told my mum and she said that his own kids won’t be there.

Don’t you think that’s a bit crap?! To not invite your own kids to your wedding???

Fucking hell, that’s awful …..bet you never got over that

how do you know they are not invited.. how sure are you that his ex wife is refusing to let them go?

when i got married we did not invite DH's DC or mine. at the very last minute we invited mine as they were still littel (his were adults). to be fair it was me, DH, 2 witnesses and my 2 children!

i do regret this.. but whats done is done i guess

My mum didn’t invite me to her wedding (actually she planned it specifically for a date she knew I’d be unable to attend), though I was a young adult at the time. It did totally echo the type of parent she would become over the years to follow. We are NC now.

My guess is he’s probably just a bit of a shit, selfish parent and is moving on to something more shiny.

Your husband is the kind of weak-willed man that repulses me, but there's someone for everyone I guess ☹️.

I think that's so sad. How is the new wife? The poor kids, at that age they will definitely understand, hope they don't feel rejected. I couldn't marry a man who did this.

No offence OP but general rant:

Why do I keep reading this nonsense and people still debating if they should go. NO! HELL NO!!

Just leave all the child free wedding people have a borderline people free wedding, so they can be happy and done with it and the rest of the population don’t have to pay to indulge their narcissism.

Win win.

Oh and don’t reciprocally invite them to anything as clearly values aren’t aligned.

You couldn't have planned your wedding around days you had dsd with you?

I once babysat for a toddler for 24 hours while his parents got married. They didn't want other kids there so their kid would have been bored 🤷🏻‍♀️

I do find it a bit stranger since the kids in question are a bit older but I don't think it's all that crazy really. It's a legitimate choice, just not one I would personally make.

I've just spent ten minutes trying to come up with a way that you don't come out of this as an appalling person.

I have failed.

It's 50 years ago now. I moved on a long time ago.

It was done with the best of motives. Can't change the past.

Ahh you underestimate the power of a bitter ex

As I said it made sense. We had no one else to look after him and his mum lives two hundred miles away so logistically it seemed like the best idea too. We were going away the following day. I’m not looking for anyone’s approval.

I wasn't invited to my dad's wedding when I was a kid. I never got over it.

Wow, just wow

They're 9 and 11. They will care, speaking from experience.

A toddler I could understand at a push, maybe. But 9 and 11, nope.

It's hearsay isn't it. Someone told your mother, who told you, so they might actually be there after all!
I personally love a child free wedding. It's his second wedding, so it doesn't need to be the big white do with flower girls, ring bearers, ushers, bridesmaids etc. It'll probably be a more grown up vibe with lots of dancing and lots of booze.

My girls weren't invited to their Dads wedding when they were 10 on the basis that there was 'no one available to babysit them'.

Their grandparents offered, but apparently there was things they were needed for. They could have been dropped off and picked up easily, by multiple people, but that also wasn't suitable.

There was a hired in crèche for their very young half siblings and their step-mother's niece and nephew. But that was being paid for by her and was for her family only.

The girls, now adults, have never forgotten it and it was definitely the start of the end of their relationship with their father.

Your cousins children won't forget either.

Surely the narcissist is the person who would cut somebody out for having their own wedding childfree. Not wanting to pay for your cousin's 4 kids or have your vows interrupted by a fussy child does not make a person narcissistic.

As to what the OP is actually about, it's bloody weird not wanting your own children at your wedding.

Who said anything about cutting anyone out. I said no reciprocal invites. Deciding what ‘you’ want goes 2 ways.

I can think of one reason to go. To object at the point when the celebrant asks if anyone has any objections.

He doesn't sound like a great father.

My DD's dad got married without her there. She was 7 and would have loved being a bridesmaid.
He blames me because she doesn't enjoy spending time with him 🙄

Yeah that is truly bizarre and so selfish, poor child!

That’s absolutely awful!!! You two sound utterly selfish