To have booked the flights?

[Promptly2024]

Background: my DDad has an apartment in Spain and we have discussed going out there in July 25. We went this year around the same time for 10 days so naturally when you're away somewhere lovely and having a lovely time you want to rebook again. So whilst there we compare mine and DH shifts (his annual leave is already set for the year by his company unfortunately) so they only time we could go, for two weeks, would mean missing the last two days of school for my eldest DD.

Now I don't USUALLY advocate taking kids out of school but as it was for a family holiday and literally the last two days of term we thought it would be okay. I asked DD if she would mind missing the last two days of school as that would be her last days in juniors before going to seniors. Context: DD "hates" school and gets anxiety going so she naturally, at the time, said yes.

A few days ago I noticed easyJet were having a sale released flights today, so I reapproached the subject with DH and DD. DH still wants to go for 2 weeks , DD has changed her mind and is mortified that she will miss the last two days of juniors. Which me and DH understood, however DH still wants to go for two weeks.

I offered several options

1. Go for 2 weeks and DD misses school

1. DH goes out early and I stay back with DD and come out a bit later with her

1. I go out early and he comes out a bit later with DD

1. Book for a shorter break, 8 days after DD finished school

He wasn't really happy with any of it and there wasn't a conclusion to our discussions yesterday.

Fast forward to this morning, he's in bed after a night shift when EasyJet sale released, I noticed the flights we wanted were in the sale (and price creeping up as the minutes go by) so I took the decision to book the shorter holiday so all of us go out after DD finished school, meaning 8 days holiday.. these were the more expensive flights going out as they were IN the school holidays, and the earlier flights were much cheaper. I thought to myself well if we end up wanting to go out earlier (DD changes her mind) then I can change the flights to the earlier flights and the likely cost of the admin charges for changes will be negligible as the flights would be cheaper if we went earlier

Since booking that this morning the flight costs have gone up and up... So I was pleased with my decision.

However on texting DH while I'm at work to let him know what I did, he's now being rude and saying he's basically not going all that way just for 8 days and why have I overcomplicated it and why did I ask her again when she originally agreed and saying that it takes two days to destress after travelling with DD and my DDad (he is a bit of a PITA 🤣)

But I'm really upset by his attitude

AIBu to have done this?

I'm not sure I fully understand... A 14 day holiday would mean her missing two days of school but the solution was to book an 8 day holiday? Why couldn't you have booked a 12 day holiday, flying out the day after she finished school?

How old is dd? The school my dd goes to is just one school until she leaves after year 6 so not sure about juniors etc but I wouldn't tell my dd or give her a choice I'd be booking the holiday.

This. I think you should as a family have made a decision before booking the flights. And I totally understand why your DD doesn’t want to miss her last day of school being such a big milestone with probably events to go on a family holiday when you could have gone a few days after.

If dh wasn't being any help when you provided choices I can understand why you did what you did.

I also think he's being a bit precious- all that way for 8 days. I presume you're in the UK so relatively close to Spain in the context of the whole globe. For that comment alone I think YANBU. People go far, far further for less time.

Ypu shouldn't have given her a choice and you should have assume she would change her mind as the time got closer to the leaving date as she won't want to miss the milestone.

You shouldn't have used jount money and taken a jount decision alone.

8 days is totally different to 12 or 14 days so I think I'd be very cross in your husbands shoes.

This would have been my immediate solution.

OP i don't think you will get many people validate your action here. You went ahead and booked flights without concluding the discussion.

Yeah, I can't see why you've booked 8 days either and I'd be annoyed if I'd agreed a 14-day holiday with my husband and he booked an 8-day one instead.

I assume the days she would miss would be a Monday and Tuesday, meaning they couldn't leave until Wednesday instead of Saturday? Or something similar

I'm assuming the flights are not every day? I wouldn't have booked them no, not without agreement. I wouldn't expect my kid to miss the last days of y6 so the only option would be the shorter holiday but it needs to be agreed.

I think if she's school avoidant and she wanted to be in school for those days, I would support her. However, I would have made the case to DH rather than just booking.

While you should have concluded the discussion with your husband I get why you did it. Panic bought due to price rise.

But, if he weren't helping to make a decision and just whinging I'd remind him of that and show him the price comparison. Also, he doesn't have to go if it's not to his liking!

I wouldn't have asked my child either, kids are fickle. Plus last two days... I doubt she's missing anything major.

I wouldnt let her miss her last days, she will never get them back. And he is being a total brat over 2 days.

I probably wouldn't have booked without a proper plan though. But DH wouldnt have acted like a brat like this either way.

I’m a teacher and I would have definitely taken her out for the last two days to get a 14 day holiday as opposed to an 8 day holiday. Between the to and fro travel days and all the effort - I think that you have really cut your holiday short.

I'm with your DH 8 days holiday instead of 14, it's nearly an extra week. I get he wasn't giving you any solutions so you thought you were doing the best thing. Tbh no one remembers last day in school, sometimes when holidays are hugely different in price you just have to go with the option of missing the last day of school.

It’s not just 2 days though it’s 6 holiday days they now are missing out on

Oh yes I didn't spot that. I definitely wouldn't have booked the flights until it was sorted, but I still wouldn't have her miss end of school. In my 40s I still clearly remember my last days of juniors with old friends.

I wouldn’t have booked flights while DH and I were mid discussion about dates and timings. It’s a really cheeky move. I would be pissed off too.

Just change DH flight so he can go earlier.

I’m with your DH…..what you have done is wrong….and you know it

Because we are restricted by DH annual leave

I also don't understand how it's gone from 14 days to 8. My maths makes it 12 days.

My child left their last year just before the summer and no way would we have missed it. They do special assemblies and lots of fun leavers activities, might sound silly to some but it’s all part of the leavers experience. I like you also wouldn’t have just booked it until something was sorted.

I wouldn't have taken my dd for last two days of primary.

Still don't understand why you couldn't have gone for 8-12 nights?

Anyway 8 days is more than enough. Most people go for a week.

I'm confused. 14 days means DD missing 2 days of school so why not book for 12 days once she has finished. Why book for 8?

I'd be fuming if DP did this with no discussion. If it was urgent and you were keen to book, why not push for an agreement after discussing all the options?

I don't know what I'm.missing here but this makes no sense to me

By juniors do you mean year 6, leaving for secondary/high school. In alot of schools this is a big deal with leavers assemblys and activities, there's no way I would want my dd to miss that.

Are there only flights once a week could you not all fly out a day or 2 after term ends.

Having said that 2 weeks holiday is a luxury, most people I know only go for 7 days so that really shouldn't be such an issue.

I agree with not making DD miss the last days of year 6, any other year fine but not year 6.

I don't understand why it's 8 days and not 12 but if those were the only options I probably would have booked it too.