To have booked the flights?

[Promptly2024]

Background: my DDad has an apartment in Spain and we have discussed going out there in July 25. We went this year around the same time for 10 days so naturally when you're away somewhere lovely and having a lovely time you want to rebook again. So whilst there we compare mine and DH shifts (his annual leave is already set for the year by his company unfortunately) so they only time we could go, for two weeks, would mean missing the last two days of school for my eldest DD.

Now I don't USUALLY advocate taking kids out of school but as it was for a family holiday and literally the last two days of term we thought it would be okay. I asked DD if she would mind missing the last two days of school as that would be her last days in juniors before going to seniors. Context: DD "hates" school and gets anxiety going so she naturally, at the time, said yes.

A few days ago I noticed easyJet were having a sale released flights today, so I reapproached the subject with DH and DD. DH still wants to go for 2 weeks , DD has changed her mind and is mortified that she will miss the last two days of juniors. Which me and DH understood, however DH still wants to go for two weeks.

I offered several options

1. Go for 2 weeks and DD misses school

1. DH goes out early and I stay back with DD and come out a bit later with her

1. I go out early and he comes out a bit later with DD

1. Book for a shorter break, 8 days after DD finished school

He wasn't really happy with any of it and there wasn't a conclusion to our discussions yesterday.

Fast forward to this morning, he's in bed after a night shift when EasyJet sale released, I noticed the flights we wanted were in the sale (and price creeping up as the minutes go by) so I took the decision to book the shorter holiday so all of us go out after DD finished school, meaning 8 days holiday.. these were the more expensive flights going out as they were IN the school holidays, and the earlier flights were much cheaper. I thought to myself well if we end up wanting to go out earlier (DD changes her mind) then I can change the flights to the earlier flights and the likely cost of the admin charges for changes will be negligible as the flights would be cheaper if we went earlier

Since booking that this morning the flight costs have gone up and up... So I was pleased with my decision.

However on texting DH while I'm at work to let him know what I did, he's now being rude and saying he's basically not going all that way just for 8 days and why have I overcomplicated it and why did I ask her again when she originally agreed and saying that it takes two days to destress after travelling with DD and my DDad (he is a bit of a PITA 🤣)

But I'm really upset by his attitude

AIBu to have done this?

I'm not sure what the rush is. You're going in a year! Seems insane to book flights this far in advance. They'll just change the times anyway.

Flights tend to go up. In easyJet if you book at the time of the release date for those locations that are in demand you’ll likely get an affordable price. If you leave it for a few months or even days you might not be able to afford the flights

Yes we have two DD
But youngest DD finishes for summer two days earlier than eldest DD 🤦🏻‍♀️ so it's eldest DD school that is the problem

Exactly.
I'm not loaded and could not afford a holiday abroad if it weren't for my dad's place in Spain, as long as can get a good price on flights!@

Well she will be 11

I can't afford to pay their inflated prices unless I book well in advance 😊

I think you have done the right thing, and also your DDs view on the importance of school is to be commended.

I don't agree with taking children out of school for holidays. I think 8 days is good enough.

Sounds like either way you would have annoyed someone:

• your dd if she'd miss the last 2 days after all or
• your dh if he's going ALL that way for only 8 days

On that basis, and as you only leave primary school and get the primary school leavers assembly/ hoodies/ parties / signed books / whatever else the school does once you took the best decision. A decision that your dh didn't give any view on when he was presented with options.

Tell your dh to give himself s shake and enjoy himself- even if he is only going for 8 days ALL the way to Spain

DH is literally not talking to me this evening.
I'm literally getting silent treatment.
He won't be invited at this rate. I'll change flights and go for two weeks after DD finishes and he can go back to back to work as planned

It only takes 2.5 hours to get to Spain- I'm here every month for a long weekend. Sure your dh will be fine 🙄

You'd think so wouldn't you 🙄 but clearly he's not fine.

Have the school given inset dates yet? As its likely they will be on those 2 days...

Yeh they have
And DD2 infants have inset days those two days
DD1 juniors doesn't

They're separate schools but same name and next door to each other. This is only one example of how shit it is 🤣

I think given all the information I'd have made the same decision - I wouldn't want my child to miss their last day of the last year of school, and I would want to book early to get it cheaper too. On the other hand, I do think you should agree between you before actually booking. Id not be happy if my husband just booked something without us agreeing so I wouldn't do it to him either.

Depending where in Spain and where you’re coming from in the uk . I’m from north Spain and it takes me 1.5h to go to my hometown. It’d be 3.5 to go from Scotland to south Spain and over 4.5 to rhe canaries. OP hasn’t said where in Spain are they going to

This is not a decision for a 10/11 year old. You should have discussed this with your DH, not your child. Your child should not be deciding anything. You have undermined him, no wonder he is pissed off.
He is right, you should have booked the 14 days and I think you know you made the wrong decision, or you wouldn't be asking for confirmation on here.

I'm normally very relaxed about taking DC out of school - but in this case I can see why she wouldn't have wanted to miss the last couple of days of her primary school - it's quite a big thing now with a leavers assembly and disco .

In this situation I think the 8 day holiday is the right thing to do.

You can go away for a fortnight the year after or another week later next year if you want to - but your daughter won't have those milestones again .

But I made my DH aware when I told him that I booked the shorter holiday to secure the cheaper cost... We do have the option of changing if discussions are had and decisions made to extend the holiday... It literally leaves both options out there for further discussion but at the best price!

If I didn't do this, and discussions happened over coming weeks or months and we STILL decided to go for 8 days then Id be so pissed off having to pay 100's extra unnecessarily.

The way I've done it is that if we decide the 8 days anyway then fab I've got the best price for the more expensive school holiday flights

If we decide to ignore DD and go 2 weeks, then I can easily change it to the cheaper non-school holiday flights and just have to pay admin fee.. which already has proved to be fat cheaper than the cost of the layer flights which are still creeping up in price

Well this is the issue too
The way DH annual leave is set next year means this is literally the only holiday that aligns with school holidays.
This would be our only holiday or break (unless we took DDs out of school for 1/2 weeks another time of the year)
So I know he wanted 2 weeks, I bloody wanted two weeks too!!!
But this is not just any time of year this is her last days of juniors.

Mortgage - once every 2-5 years
Insurance renewals - once a year
Bills - set them up once, unless you re-contract every 18 months - 2 years

Kids…
School…
Clubs…
Holidays…

Someone’s got the sweet end of the deal! 😁

All that way? He’s being utterly pathetic.

If he really doesn’t want to come, and by that I mean he comes with a positive attitude, you may as well cancel his flight and he can sit at home whilst you all have a good time without him.

Boring controlling knobhead.

It hadn't occurred to me that I did bills and insurance etc as they just come out of the account. It's not a thing!
Sorting out the kids is another thing altogether.

This makes no sense. He had 14 days available, the first 2 days of which your DD would still be in school and yet you only booked for 8 days? By my calculations you could have booked 12 days holiday!