To have booked the flights?

[Promptly2024]

Background: my DDad has an apartment in Spain and we have discussed going out there in July 25. We went this year around the same time for 10 days so naturally when you're away somewhere lovely and having a lovely time you want to rebook again. So whilst there we compare mine and DH shifts (his annual leave is already set for the year by his company unfortunately) so they only time we could go, for two weeks, would mean missing the last two days of school for my eldest DD.

Now I don't USUALLY advocate taking kids out of school but as it was for a family holiday and literally the last two days of term we thought it would be okay. I asked DD if she would mind missing the last two days of school as that would be her last days in juniors before going to seniors. Context: DD "hates" school and gets anxiety going so she naturally, at the time, said yes.

A few days ago I noticed easyJet were having a sale released flights today, so I reapproached the subject with DH and DD. DH still wants to go for 2 weeks , DD has changed her mind and is mortified that she will miss the last two days of juniors. Which me and DH understood, however DH still wants to go for two weeks.

I offered several options

1. Go for 2 weeks and DD misses school

1. DH goes out early and I stay back with DD and come out a bit later with her

1. I go out early and he comes out a bit later with DD

1. Book for a shorter break, 8 days after DD finished school

He wasn't really happy with any of it and there wasn't a conclusion to our discussions yesterday.

Fast forward to this morning, he's in bed after a night shift when EasyJet sale released, I noticed the flights we wanted were in the sale (and price creeping up as the minutes go by) so I took the decision to book the shorter holiday so all of us go out after DD finished school, meaning 8 days holiday.. these were the more expensive flights going out as they were IN the school holidays, and the earlier flights were much cheaper. I thought to myself well if we end up wanting to go out earlier (DD changes her mind) then I can change the flights to the earlier flights and the likely cost of the admin charges for changes will be negligible as the flights would be cheaper if we went earlier

Since booking that this morning the flight costs have gone up and up... So I was pleased with my decision.

However on texting DH while I'm at work to let him know what I did, he's now being rude and saying he's basically not going all that way just for 8 days and why have I overcomplicated it and why did I ask her again when she originally agreed and saying that it takes two days to destress after travelling with DD and my DDad (he is a bit of a PITA 🤣)

But I'm really upset by his attitude

AIBu to have done this?

I've gone to Spain for the weekend so it's ridiculous him saying he won't go 'all that way' for eight days! He has to accept the compromise.

Yes her earlier answer was yes I don't want to go to school

I just happened to double check with her to make sure she realised what I was asking (as I originally asked when we were on holiday so hard to think realistically) and she had changed her mind

Only because of it being last two days of juniors.not any other school day I would've even asked (and she would be delighted nonetheless!)

Yes they're definitely cheaper than the ones I've booked as they're not in school holidays they're before they break up so they're cheaper

I wouldn't get a refund for less flights, your right, I would however only need to pay for the admin fee. Which considering how much flights have gone up to now at 1745 compared to what they were at 0600 this morning the admin fees have already paid for themselves if you see what I mean

Travelling all that way? I’m going further for less than 48hrs to a spa next month

I think you were absolutely right to book the shorter trip. The last two days of year 6 are important - it’s not any old two days. And I say that as a Mum of a 2020 year 6 who missed half of the final year! Awful for them.

If it's for July 2025 a lot of airlines won't have released flights yet for those dates, and will also be releasing more around 8ish months before hand, with easyJet these are just the regular annual scheduled flights but they then tend to add on routes closer to the date depending on availability

I think you were right to book the 8 days.
My parents also refused to take us out of school for holidays - until the year I left primary. I'm still annoyed they took me out for the last 2 days and I'm 44!

Your DH is being ridiculous. 8 days is still a holiday.

That's the only airline that flies to where my dad's apartment is, from our local airport. It's a really small airport and flights are limited. It used to only be twice a week !

It's really irrelevant if there are other airlines or days or whatever. I know what our limitations are, I'm not asking AIBU to use only that airline. I'm asking AIBU, in MY circumstances, to have booked the shorter break

If I was to travel to a further away airport both at home and in Spain, adding hours and hours of travel either side, then a 7/8 day trip might not be worth it

I'm with dh. Why would you ask her again when she had already agreed. 2 days of the last days of junior is minor, so insignificant, it's not worth missing a holiday bc of it. They literally do nothing exciting, water fights, sign T-shirts, fun lessons - meaning no actual work but who cares. My child has their signed T-shirt from year 6 going into year 8 now and really couldn't care any less about it, they wouldn't even recall the last days that well as it's not that big of a deal.

He flies out Friday and has a few days on his own, you join him after your daughter has finished school. win win really as she'd regret not being there x

What's done is done, can you use the savings to pay for a hotel for a night or two in driving distance over the weekend to make use of DH's annual leave and do a start of holidays mini break? Then he has a couple of days to pack and get ready for Spain on return while DD is at school but will be in holiday mode. Agree that there will be leavers activities that your DD would regret missing.

We aren't missing a holiday, we are just shortening the break from two weeks to 8 days.

I made the decision to book the shorter more expensive flights as soon as they come out today in the sale to get the best deal. This gives us a bit of wiggle room if she /we decide it's not worth hanging back for I can change the flight to the earlier, cheaper flight with only the cost of admin charge to pay... And the expensive flights have gone up considerably since 6am this morning when I booked them so I have already saved money from waiting for DH/DD to make a decision.

If I had done it the other way round and booked the two weeks holiday, it would've been cheaper, but then I would be at the mercy of DH dithering about and finally making a decision.... If that late decision was to go for two weeks then great I've got the best deal as got them in the sale. If that late decision was to only go 8 days I'd not only have to pay the admin fee id have to pay for the extra cost of the flight, which is more expensive as in summer holidays AND they've gone up a lot today already!!!

So I made a decision this morning to secure a holiday either way but DH thinks I ABU and us being a stroppy prick since I got home from work and now I feel like telling the dickhead that he isn't coming!! Ungrateful

Exactly. If he offered me that I'd jump at the chance!!!!

But adding significant travel by changing airports both ends will make a shorter trip less worth it. It's not something I would consider let alone DH

But you're right
Wish I had not bothered now

Well I would've hoped be over it by July 2025 🤣 although DH is known for his long silent treatments

I would have gone for the two weeks.

I wouldn’t have sacrificed so many holiday days, over two school days in a school she will never attend again.

Who honestly really remembers the last week of year six. Half the kids won’t be in, in any of the years. There is no work being done it’s all movies and colouring in with the odd “party” day inside school.

Most schools leavers things will of already been done due to so many about to be missing, any that hold them on the last day are purely trying to bribe for attendance.

Yeh I agree and the juniors who just left before summer did exactly that, all the leaving things were the week before.

But really, what I did this morning was to bridge both options.

Secure in a shorter holiday at the cheapest possible rate, leaving plenty of time for discussions and changing of minds, which if flight change is necessary that's fine, it'll be a darn sight cheaper than paying through the nose later on. It's already gone up significantly today