Not removing sunglasses - unreasonable?

[coxesorangepippin]

Met up with a friend yesterday, who introduced me to her sister.

We sat outside, it was sunny.

The sister did not remove her sunglasses the entire time (2 hours).

It bothered me. I couldn't see her eyes.

Aibu?

Saying 'the lights are on but nobodies home' (meaning 'stupid') about a disability aid is fucking disgusting

But I didn't say that about a disability aid, nor did I mean stupid - to turn my comment into you saying "I won't talk to blind people or people with false eyes" is fucking disgusting as that's not at all what I said - so take it else where.

I'm not the only person that commented that correlation too so not a 'jump'
Yes it is a jump to say I would refuse to talk to a blind person or person with false eyes....that's disgusting. Talk about twisting something in a vile way.

Why do you need to ‘read’ people though? This is a genuine question. I don’t understand what you’re getting from looking into someone’s eyes, unless it’s a high stakes negotiation.

I have always worn sunglasses. My eyes are very sensitive and can’t stand the light very much. I had never realised that some people find this an etiquette breach.

There is something quite bonkers about thinking that a brief glimpse of someone's eyes squinting against the sun when you first meet will help you understand a person

Except glasses literally exist as a disability aid

and

'nobodies home' literally means stupid

You are still arguing despite everyone telling you it was offensive.

Thanks everyone

@housethatbuiltme no, my contact with you was that you were vile, truly vile !
You twisted something I said to say I would refuse to talk to a blind person or a person with false eyes - I never, nor would I ever say that.

If I used a term that people found offensive I would of course apologise to that person, I maybe should have not copied another person term and used my own words to mean eye contact is often used an effective way of communicating, for those who can.

But I owe you nothing. For you to turn that, into something so vile is sickening.

Well you're either a bored child on your Mum's account or you're too embarrassed to return to the thread OP. Which is it?

^

I'm back.

Clearly IAbu

Thanks again

Can I ask @coxesorangepippin , why did it bother you so much? Is it something you think is bad manners or did you struggle with conversation, with someone in sunglasses? Genuinely interested!

'If I used a term that people found offensive I would of course apologise to that person'

I AM a disabled person and I DID find it offensive.

Not once have you apologized, instead you just kept on insulting they disabled people you already insulted.

You do NOT get to tell us we are offensive and 'vile' for calling you ablest when you WHERE undeniably ablest. We are the ones who get to decide since it was us you insulted.

You do NOT get to tell us we are offensive and 'vile' for calling you ablest when you WHERE undeniably ablest. We are the ones who get to decide since it was us you insulted

@housethatbuiltme No I get to call you not us, you vile when you lie about me. When you say I would "refuse to speak to a blind person or a person with false eyes", I absolutely did not say that, you twisted something in a vile way, I may have copied a phrase that offended, and I should have used my own words and I have explained what I meant, but you, you completely on purpose, wrote something that was untrue and disgusting and yes I do get to call you vile for that.

My fiance is fine with it, he will have a little chuckle sometimes, but in a nice way. I mostly wfh and I know my team wouldn't care if I did on the meetings either. My mum also doesn't say anything when I visit her 😊 I need some better ones tbh because it's still too much at times

Well this has escalated! 😬

I mean, it wasn't a job interview.

It was her sister!

It wouldn’t kill me no, but as mine are prescription and I wouldn’t be able to actually see you, I’d end up staring past you with a disorientated glazed look and even the couple of seconds of sun exposure and disorientation could cause me to vomit shortly thereafter, now that would be rude!

My comfort comes first, and I’m not going to conform to some made up stupid opinion on what others consider rude.

I’d go as far as to say those who think society needs to conform to these made up rules on basic manners, could do with learning some basic understanding of tolerance.

yes yabu. You are also a weirdo

This.

My DS(14) has an ocular condition which makes it impossible for him to cope with strong light at all. The expectation for him to lift his glasses for a few seconds for people to see his eyes would have them red, streaming and painful. Why? Who's the rude one here? Not my DS.

Do you demand wheelchair users stand to great you too OP? It's only polite, after all. Ableism.

Actually can't believe this thread is still going.

In their heads do people actually have complicated and thought-out views on eyewear worn by other people!?

Blows my mind. I mean, you won't be able to tell what I'm thinking cos I'll have my shades on, but my mind will be blown behind the darkness.

Agree, I’m ADHD and would have probably swapped my normal glasses for sunglasses to drive because of the glare hurting my eyes, and then completely forgot I was wearing them until I either caught sight of myself or it got to the late evening and I couldn’t work out why I couldn’t see…

Whatever the reason, why should your feelings trump this lady’s comfort?

It’s oddly intense to think you need to “see into someone’s soul” during a brief social encounter. Although not quite as odd as dozens of people calling each other vile over whether or not they take their sunglasses off to say hello. Which is not something I’ve ever heard of before, and my parents were big fans of obscure and pointless etiquette.

It's typical MN twaddle.

Sunlight is my number one trigger for a migraine. 1 second with the sunlight in my eye without sunglasses can cause a migraine, I have several pairs of sunglasses every where, I cannot be without them.
I have never been made aware that not removing your sunglasses is a social faux pas? Who knew? I would never have an issue with someone wearing sunglasses and would find it quite rude if someone had an issue with me wearing sunglasses whilst in the sun.

YABU... you were outdoors and it was sunny. If she didn't have sunglasses, she would likely be squinting and you still wouldn't see her eyes. 😅

This is almost as bizarre as the thread the other day when a poster said it was bad manners not to compliment someone's Christmas tree if you visit their house over Christmas - some MNers have the weirdest ideas 😆😆

I don't have a view and I don't find it rude. I just observed that personally I find it harder to engage in conversation when someone is wearing dark glasses. I have never had any issues talking to blind people but the ones I know don't wear dark glasses