How would you feel, if your DH bought you a bib?

[Bibblunders]

He bought me an adult pelican bib! He thinks it's hilarious.

It says on it "if you can read this, I haven't had my dinner yet". I do drop food on myself, fair enough, but I just think this isn't funny.

And, given that I'm never going to wear it, a total waste of time, because to send it back, he has to parcel it back up and drive some distance to a post office, because we don't have a post office in our town.

I don't know if my sense of humour is lacking, but I feel offended. Maybe that's too strong a word, I don't know, maybe belittled or like he's thinking I'm not sexy, if that makes sense? Maybe I need to lighten up!

YABU - lighten up, it's just a joke

YANBU - I wouldn't like that either

If I was doing that for whatever reason I'd probably be aware of it, and I definitely wouldn't appreciate my partner making a (very bad, offensive) joke about it and making me feel worse.

Lots of people do spill food down themselves including me ( big chest so it shows) .

I would hate someone to make a big deal of it and feel belittled.

The OP might be dyspraxic, or disabled, or any number of things which make it harder to eat neatly. Or she may just be clumsy. None of things would make this 'joke' OK though.

Would you like it if your partner openly mocked something that you felt self conscious about? Your weight, or your clothes, perhaps?

Sounds like you're known for spilling your food down yourself. So own it and accept the joke (presumably it was a kind joke?). Or, alternatively, make more an effort with your table manners.

It depends on how the rest of your relationship is though.

I don't think I would take offence if there was a bit of a standing joke about the issue.

So its difficult to answer that really.

I'd think k it was hilarious. And could definitely do with one when eating certain things. I might order one!

This is how I would interpret it as well.

The bib thing doesn’t have anything to do with sexiness? — unless, deep down, you believe that you being ‘sexy’ is a sort of construct that relies on both of you carefully ignoring anything unglamorous you might do. It sounds like you’re cross that he has broken some unspoken rule of never acknowledging or teasing you about anything ‘unsexy’.

I get that — I remember feeling a little bit that way when I was a young woman.

tbh though it’s sexier, but mainly also emotionally healthier, to be able to have a laugh at yourself, providing you aren’t being cruelly mocked.

My DH did buy me a bib! 😂

It's funny, I laughed.

And used it a few times...

Jokes are only jokes when everyone is laughing. It sounds like this one is a bit of an oaf who thought he was funny but really missed the mark. He should have known better, this is the kind of joke you have to be reeeally sure the other person would appreciate but he was more interested in amusing himself it seems.
Bin/charity shop it and move on, but hope he learns his lesson.

YABU

We don't eat at the table much these days. We always used to, but since kids have left home, we tend to eat on laps and watch TV. That sounds terrible, written down! We do switch TV off after dinner and have a good talk about our day etc. There's nothing wrong with me, but I do tend to drop food, lol. I don't know why! We have a lot of things with sauce, like curry. I am big chested, but I don't think that's got much to do with it.

I wouldn’t find it very funny and would probably be a bit offended.

If say, we were in a shop, and he saw a bib and said ‘you could do with one of those!’ - that would be a joke.

But to actually go to the effort of buying one online as a gift feels a bit nasty.

Personally I would be raging. He should also understand your sense of humour/personality. I would find this belittling, patronising and humiliating.

I’d have thrown it on the floor and stamped on it.

Was there an occasion? Like it was one of many presents for a Birthday, or did he just buy it by itself and give it to you? I would find the latter strange.

The latter! And now it's a huge effort to return it. Trudging to the next bloody town to the post office!

I wouldn't worry about the effort he needs to make to return it. He brought that on himself. Is he making a song and dance so you feel guilty about him having to return it? Fuck that.

Why do you keep talking about returning it? Surely it cost peanuts?

It says it costs £6.39 on Amazon. Why bother returning it if it takes that much effort ?

I’d be humiliated.

But I’d also find it pretty unpleasant if my partner dropped food down himself when eating. So maybe he’s making a point?

I'd put more effort in to stop dropping food

Strange. It just feels a bit… mean. Even ‘saw this and thought of you’ doesn’t work when it’s essentially an insult.

The key phrase here is "provided you aren't being cruelly mocked".

Whether or not this is mockery is determined not by the giver, but by how the recipient feels about it. The OP feels mocked.

Thing about something about yourself that you don't like and are self conscious about. Something that you secretly worry may be judged/mocked by others. Now imagine your DH getting you a 'joke' gift that targets that specific insecurity, and makes fun of it. How would that feel?

I'd say it's a joke unless there's a bigger picture, but if it's making you feel a certain kind of way then take some time to think about why and work on making some positive changes to.boosr your self esteem.

Presumably the partner wants to return it, which is why he's doing so. He bought it, he can deal with it. It's not the OP's responsibility.

I think I would take this as a prompt to eat back at the table. It's easy to fall into bad habits and if you have one why not put it to good use. It's better for digestion to eat at a table and better for moderation and portion control not to eat Infront of the TV. Have a conversation over dinner then go and watch TV if you want.

I wouldn't bother returning it, it would live in a bad until I did a wardrobe sort out for charity.