To think MIL should have consulted ME about Father's Day?

[head2toeinuniqlo]

I have a DH and 2 DC. DH's parents live close by, although we very seldom see them (their choice).

We're in Australia so Father's Day is this Sunday. We had a vague plan of what to do, but thought as a gesture I would reach out to MIL and see if they wanted to do something together. We don't normally, but thought it would be nice. MIL said she had already spoken to SIL and asked her to talk to DH to arrange something.

Firstly, why would DH be organising his own Father's Day?
And secondly, she knows that I do all of the arranging for the family, as she does for hers. Why didn't she contact ME if she wanted to do something together, rather than exclude me from the arrangements?

Sorry I just needed to get that off my chest. She has form for talking to DH when it would be more appropriate to talk to me. It really pisses me off, tbh. We could have had a nice surprise planned for DH that he didn't know about.

I am tempted now to just do our own thing. AIBU?

Er, you yourself called the OP "hard work, entitled, ignorant" because of her adhd comment?

I won't argue my ADHD point further. I am happy to read any links anyone sends me. I have previously been informed that adhd is not necessarily a life-long condition. I am open to being told otherwise, but only with some evidence to back it up.

No one has shown me that evidence yet but fair enough, you're not required to do the legwork, so yes we'll just have to agree to disagree.

My exact words were You sound like hard work, entitled, ignorant. That is definitely not me calling the OP a horrible person. You are insinuating things, don’t twist my words. And my comment was not in relation to the adhd, it was in relation to everything OP outlined in her posts.

It’s not your father, it’s DHs so up to him what he arranges and for you to do something with your own father. (If that’s possible). I would celebrate/help your kids to do something with their dad. That’s all. As for his family, unless DH organises things or they contact you I’d be doing very minimal organising of anything.

You don’t grow out of ADHD, so your husband still has ADHD and that means executive functioning disorder so that is why he is disorganised and it’s working memory issues that mean he can’t remember arrangements if called at work.
Explain that to his family so that arrangements do go through you do things run more smoothly.

Had ADHD?? This isn’t something you grow out of?
to be honest, I feel if your relationship with your ML isn’t that close then maybe that’s the reason she didn’t contact you and spoke to her daughter instead? If you have children, however I do feel she should have spoken to you first as quite rightly you may have wanted to arrange something that the children felt they could do for their father.

@LAMPS1. Great response! I absolutely agree with you xx

Today is Thursday, and Sunday is in a few days time. Isn’t it a bit late to arrange something? Maybe as nothing had been arranged already, mil and sil , in conversation, mooted the idea of a barbecue. Sounds like there’s were no definite plans made.