Would you assume that your toddler was invited?

[NotCamping]

I’m not yet a parent so I’m curious to know if parents would assume their 18 month old was invited.

I’m neither party in this scenario btw but one of the attendees.

The host arranged an afternoon in a restaurant which serves themed cocktails(or mocktails)with a tasting menu.

One guest brought her 18 month old son. It’s not a child free venue as such but neither is it at all child friendly and there are no children’s menus. it was 5pm and she wasn’t asked about the baby but assumed that he was welcome as the host didn’t state that he was.

So I’m curious to know if you assume if your children are invited if it isn’t specified that they are or if it’s the host’s responsibility to make it clear?

TIA

No i would expect it to be adults onlly

Unlikely. I think you've defo made this part up. As if the staff care or think that deeply into something like that. Did they all huddle together to decide they wanted to hurry you out ??

A cocktail and tasting menu starting at 5pm….. utterly bizarre, that’s where the confusion lies. 5pm is child friendly, the activity/venue is not. I would definitely have asked though if my child was invited (obviously assuming not, but why so early??) and depending on the answer would have either suggested something more child friendly if kid was invited, or suggested a more adult-friendly time if kids not invited.

Have you never felt rushed out of a restaurant before? I have, usually when they’re busy even if we haven’t gone over the time limit and it’s very obvious when it's happening.

They were definitely surprised to see him considering the theme, atmosphere and that as they told us,they have no high chairs, children’s menu or changing table it isn’t surprising. I don’t think that most people would have brought a toddler but I think that from now on it isn’t fair to assume that it’s obvious that a child shouldn’t be present so I’ll be making it clear whether it’s with the group of fellow volunteers I went out with or friends or colleagues of children are or aren’t invited because what’s obvious to me may not be obvious to someone else and vice versa.

Well you know now what she's like,so tell her the next time no kids.

I'm amazed anyone would think there was any ambiguity in this invitation.

I think it was obvious children weren't invited to a cocktail event. She just didn't care hence why I suggested being very direct and explicit that children aren't welcome unless actively invited.

Why so early? Because most of us were already in the city centre for a training day and it made sense to go after training rather than trek back to the suburbs and then back to the city centre.

No not that kind of event. 5pm tea in a vaguely child friendly venue, yes, Not that

I think the best case scenario was that the guest should have asked the organiser/ whoever was being celebrated if they minded her coming and bringing baby then it's their decision. One of my friends brought her baby to a few birthdays and to part of my my hen do (similar set up) because she was breastfeeding and baby point blank refused bottles so it was either they came as a pair or my friend missed out. We were all more than happy to accommodate her.

I think often we complain about women suddenly not going to things and missing friends milestones when they have a baby, but often we aren't willing to accommodate them either. I'd always check with the host in advance though.

Of course I wouldn’t think they were invited and I’m very surprised your friend thought it appropriate. I don’t get opportunities to meet friends all the time, so would have been annoyed if I’d turned up to a cocktail event to find a toddler there.

There seems to be a growing number of people who believe everywhere should be family friendly. I don’t agree.

Lol at “5pm is child friendly” 😬
It kind of depends what you’re doing @KimKardashiansLostEarring !

I don’t have any kids but if someone invites you to something the invitation is for you, not you and extra person, even if that person is a toddler. Weird to assume the kid was invited if that hadn’t been specified.

If I’d organised something like that and someone said ‘Can I bring my toddler? My partner’s not home to look after them that day and I can’t get anyone else to babysit?’ I’d probably have said ‘Yes, if you need to, but just to warn you, the venue isn’t at all child-friendly, no high chairs or anything, so it might be a bit stressful for you’ in the hope that they’d take the hint.

I never said I would take my child to a cocktail place and tasting menu did I? 😂 jeez. But who would go out for adult drinks and dinner at 5pm?? Obviously the child is not invited, but if I was invited I’d push for a later time. As my previous post said.

You come as a package? Sorry, but no you don’t.

It’s a baby, not your handbag. You don’t just bring it along as a default and assume that’s expected.

Not something I'd have ever done no.

Aye, but likely to inspire epic MIL threads in a few decades!

If it was considered ‘bizarre’, the non-child-friendly venue wouldn’t be serving those things at that time.

It’s pretty normal for people who are meeting after work in town to get drinks from 5pm and then eat. Otherwise they have to go back home and come back out again or kill time for ages.

I wouldn't take a child to this, I don't know anyone who would.

If it was a childcare issue then you just wouldn't go along.

No way. Also 5pm is wind down time and nearly bedtime for an 18 month old.

Totally depends on who was hosting, if it was my close friend group and they knew I had no choice etc then they wouldn't have a problem with it I don't think. One of my friends often brings her baby (now 5 year old) to evening events, they're just very attached and she doesn't have childcare. I guess it depends on the relationships involved.

Obviously it's not the norm, no. But did she have any other options?

I think it's pretty poor parenting, tbh, to bring a toddler to a grown up drinking event.

But a lot of parents are selfish these days, not wanting to give anything up 'just because they had children'.

I would totally stop going, if there was a 5yr old at these occasions.

Are you the friend?

You really can’t tell that you don’t bring kids to a cocktail afternoon?

No. But awww gawd I might have to name change after this, I swear to god when I gave birth my brain fell out my fanny the same time, because I made some monumental faux pas' when the dc where small, and I can honestly see myself doing this, realise I've screwed up, but just brazened it out...
I'm normally quite socially aware and on the ball, but honestly first three years of my kids lives, I was so sleep deprived, I was totally bonkers!