Can't be bothered to cook for son

[palmtreesands]

We only have limited fridge and freezer space so him buying his own shopping is not an option.
Dh eats at work and I like to take a massive salad to work among other things and pick so don't eat again in the evening.
Ds comes home from work expecting a home cooked dinner and I find it such a headache, if I haven't cooked or we've eaten I out as we sometimes do he expects their to be ingredients to make himself something to eat.... their often isn't and I am racing up the shop to buy him something to make but as I said food has to be included in his monthly contribution otherwise he'll come back with shopping that we don't have room for.
Aibu to let this stress me out so much, I'm hot and bothered and don't want the headache of feeding him but he pays £400 a month to live here so expects there to be food to eat and I can't be bothered with the hassle of always making sure there's something in when we don't have family meals.

Reread the thread. The op had said he’s not allowed to store his food shop in her house, not that he’s refusing to cook or shop for himself

Just to add, I live in a household with me my husband and one adult son. My son pays abit less than what your son pays but does buy his own food 99% of the time.
He brought himself a small freezer that he keeps in the conservatory and he has one shelf of the fridge that is for his food, me and DH use the other two shelves, can't you give him that and take less money from him?

He's paying £400 per month but you won't cook for him, let him store food to cook for himself as you say you have no fridge space??
What a way to treat your own son!!
What are you expecting him to do, starve?
If you bought a little more food yourself he could cook for all of you
If you don't want to buy a bigger fridge then suggest you do 2 smaller shops, 1 each. Jeez

If this is true then you're very, very mean and very, very weird!

Why is everyone missing the issue being that he’s not allowed to put his food in the fridge/freezer

This is all bonkers for an adult unless there's some needs or travel issues you haven't detailed.

My children have been getting their own food since there were about 12. I would look at them as if they were quite mad if they expected me to prepare theirs after work. It is outrageously entitled and sexist.

The reasons we all get our own food is I'm often at work when they're hungry, or we have sports to work around, and one of them is on a very healthy whole foods only diet which I don't want.

There is no way on earth in the details you've given that you should be making his food, or buying his food, and how dare he expect it.

I don't do a weekly shop, I haven't for years. I just buy a few bits as I go along as nobody else eats at home.
I usually get home and there's nothing so I have to go to the shop and think of something for him to have and I find it so frustrating.
The fridge is full up with their beer and snacks so I barely have room to put any fruits and vegetables for myself let alone meat and vegetables.
They're not my beer and snacks and that's just what they want in there.

what exactly prevents him from cooking his own meals. I suppose he is an adult as he works.

Then take the beer and snacks out and get the men to buy a separate beer and snacks fridge. Divide the main fridge up 2/3 to you and your partner, 1/3 to your son. Then reduce his rent and tell him to sort his own food out.

If you only eat salads and your DH eats at work, what is the fridge and freezer filled up with?

Have you thought about reducing his contribution and getting him to do his own food shopping if it’s too hard for you? I don’t think that you have to cook but having him do his own food shopping and cooking could be the answer?

Because he's not allowed to store any of his own food there

Tell him to sort his own food - the only real decision is whether you think it's fair to reduce his rent to accommodate.

When you first decided on £400, was that supposed to include food? I mean, £400 per month for lodgings, bills, food, and frankly the lack of hassle of running your own place is an absolute steal!! But if you were just asking for something as a token whilst he saves to move out, maybe drop to £300 or something and tell him to cook for himself.

Eh?
How small is the fridge and freezer space? Tbf I have massive fridge and 2 freezers, so tonnes of space. Mine is jammmed filled with stuff, marinated chicken kebabs, chilli and spag bol, meatballs and lasagne.

What's is in your freezer? Surely you could move things around and create some space for him in both?

You’re overthinking it all. Let him get on with it himself. Show him the available space and remind him that more simply will not fit.
You’re his parent, not his cook or housekeeper. Being an adult sucks sometimes.

I know... that's why I said "let" him. If it was him refusing I'd have said "make" him.

It does sound like a pain but you will
have to set it up differently. If you take his money for food but you don’t cook family meals and don’t want to run up the shop every evening, then take less money and he buys and makes his own food. If you and your husband don’t eat at home surely there is room for your son’s stuff. Is this seven days a week?

As long as he has one third of the fridge, filling it with beer is his choice entirely.

You should have included that the fridge is filled with his beer in the op as many posters responded to the implication it was taken up with your stuff.

So you're taking money off him for food but not providing him with food. Then you won't let him buy his own. Ok.

What's your ideal solution here? That he stops eating?