Can't be bothered to cook for son

[palmtreesands]

We only have limited fridge and freezer space so him buying his own shopping is not an option.
Dh eats at work and I like to take a massive salad to work among other things and pick so don't eat again in the evening.
Ds comes home from work expecting a home cooked dinner and I find it such a headache, if I haven't cooked or we've eaten I out as we sometimes do he expects their to be ingredients to make himself something to eat.... their often isn't and I am racing up the shop to buy him something to make but as I said food has to be included in his monthly contribution otherwise he'll come back with shopping that we don't have room for.
Aibu to let this stress me out so much, I'm hot and bothered and don't want the headache of feeding him but he pays £400 a month to live here so expects there to be food to eat and I can't be bothered with the hassle of always making sure there's something in when we don't have family meals.

The guy just wants hot dinners, nowhere has op said he's refusing to cook for himself. She has said he's not allowed space in the fridge and therefore can't store food to cook for himself.
The justification for this is because he pays £400 which is supposed to include food for him, so he doesn't need a space in the fridge, but op hasn't been buying food to cook because she wants to live on massive salads ?

Bizarre.

I would have more sympathy if it was only the DS that was filling it with beer, but it’s not. How is it that op is happy for him to put beer in the fridge but not food?

As other people have said, they can just remove the beer and put more food in the fridge. It just seems to me that op is making excuses that DS can’t have his own food in the fridge because of the beer. It’s not just beer for the DS, it’s also for the DH but she doesn’t stop him from eating. I mean, her DH can also go out and buy a beer fridge for his own beer - however, his beer doesn’t seem to be as much as an issue.

Unless op updates and states that the DS spends all his remaining money on drugs or gambles it away or some other reason or that he can’t be arsed to cook his own meals then I do have to say I feel somewhat sorry for him.

No she didn't say that he's "not allowed".

She said that storage space is limited so buying food isn't an option.
The fridge space is limited because the dad and son have it full of beer!

HUGE difference.

She didn't say that she's happy that he does that, she just said that that is what he does!!! Perhaps any suggestion to stop buying so much beer was met with contempt, who knows?.

Sounds very like they just took over the fridge and decided it was the OP's problem.

I think it’s clear the son will cook but OP for some reason has no room for his food in the fridge or freezer despite no one else really eating at home 🙄

But like I said, it’s not just the DS who’s stocking it up with beer it’s also the DH too but DH is allowed to eat! The suggestion to stop buying beer - yes great suggestion but both have to stop buying it. If she’s met with contempt by the DH for being asked not to buy any beer then why is she only focussing on the ds?? I would probably think differently and have less sympathy if it was only the DS filling the fridge up with beer but it isn’t. It just seems at the moment like op wants to complain about the DS being around the house to me.

The term "picky tea" makes me want to slam that overstocked salad fridge on someone's head

Why does OP have to work it out? Her partner and his son can work out they need to less beer filling up the fridge, means food can be put in it. Then what food he wants and can cook. In OP’s shoes l wouldn’t give it any thought

How old is he and why can't your husband cook for him? Or why can't he cook for himself?

I know right?

£400 gets you very little. Wouldn’t even get a room where l live, never mind bills as well

For Heaven's sake, if he's old enough to be out working full time then he's old enough to think about his own dinner. The Op and her DH make other arrangements for eating so why should she still be making dinner just for one person?
That poor boy a lot of you feel sorry for now with morph into someone's DP/DH who expects to find his dinner on the table when he comes home, then you'll be telling his DW he's unreasonable.

Why is this your problem OP? He's a grown adult, why can't he cook his own tea? And if he can't fit any food in the fridge because it's full of his/his dad's beers, then again, why is this your problem?

Lower his contribution. Tell him to buy his food. And if there isn’t enough room in the fridge, tell him to take the beer out.

Stop letting DH and DS look to you for a solution while they just do what they want. If they can’t play nicely, assign everyone a shelf in the fridge and leave it at that. Throw out anything they put on your shelf and ignore the rest.

Exactly. Mean spirited. He should move out asap.

I got the impression op would be annoyed if he turned up at home with bags of shopping. Maybe I'm wrong. Beers could be taken out a fridge and put back in when needed.

Where has she said he's not allowed space in the fridge? She's said him and his dad have filled the fridge with their beer and snacks.

If he's the only one that wants a hot meal he should be the one who cooks it. Can't he just chuck a baked potato in? I part cook in the microwave finish in the air fryer. Done in no time. Or he could do batch cooking put in individual portions and freeze. He's an adult he should be able to cook for himself.

I feel sorry for him.

For the love of god make a bit of space in the fridge and freezer for your son to put food.

I'd do anything for my kids.

Doesn’t sound like there’s any space in the freezer (and I’m not sure that’s down to the beers) - it seems to be full of meat that nobody is using.

Agree with most of this apart from the 2nd one. £400 is already cheap even without food and labour of cooking it included.

Please tell me you’re not taking £400 a month off your son. That’s extortionate.

You don’t consider him your son if you begrudge him something as basic as an evening meal.
Replace the small freezer with a large fridge freezer.

Why? He isn't even OP's son, he's her husbands, why should Op cook for him when she isn't cooking for herself?

Cruel. Do you have children?